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I am (maybe too) trusting, for me I would say I start with trust and it can erode over time based on how the other person acts.
Trust with what?
To love, honor and respect me? Sure.
To bring home the right groceries for my busy week dinner plan? Never.
Unless you don't eat a single bite of what you've bought ever, you aren't shopping "for her", you are shopping "for the family". Just like she's cooking "for the family", and not just specifically for you (special birthday favorites aside)
Tampons are literally the only thing that allows for that statement, and even then.
Early in our marriage, my husband said this same statement too M3. Had to change that mindset real quick. Nipped it in the bud. ✂️
I left them with a bag of Oreos and instructed to not eat any while I grabbed some things from my room. They successfully didn’t so I gave them a pat on the head, said “Good boy” and gave a treat as a reward
The marshmallow test
I did very much, on a trip where I got sick physically and was unable to move and he had to manage with flight rebooking, getting me a dr, food and everything since we were in the middle of nowhere. I mildly trusted him prior but after an incident you really know better who you’re with, from my perspective
So maybe we should try to get sick, or fake it, early on in a new relationship, to see how they act...
After the first date. If you can’t trust them, why continue the relationship?
That was a little harsh, I apologize. But I think people should probably wait a bit beyond one date to trust someone.
If you don’t know, then you can’t trust them
When he had given me no reason not to trust him for a long enough amount of time. That continued for a year and then he cheated on me. It’s always a gamble and I don’t think you can ever know for certain
Zero signs of anything, the relationship was going really well as it always had. He was a genuinely very nice guy, just had personal stuff to deal with. I’d say go with your gut and hope it turns out for the best. I honestly think cheating makes the relationship a lot easier to get over once you get through the first couple of months lol
Trust can be broken… trust yourself/ instincts instead
There is a saying “a person is ALWAYS showing who they are!” I feel we tend to ignore or dismiss the telling signs a person is distrustful, selfish, lying, and all of the above. We excuse it for other qualities the person may have, which may only be superficial at the onset (looks, status, or even personality).
Pretty early on, but it's a fluid thing. Marriage goes through ups and downs and trusting is a both a choice on your end and earned on their end.
When I told her the darkest thing I had done and she still accepted me. We have been married for 12 years with two kids now and she is still awesome.
Enthusiast
I’ll buy Accenture stock if you tell me. That’s an indirect commitment to you and your shareholders!
I knew my partner for many years before we were dating which helped a lot. However, after a fight/argument (over work stuff) he without hesitation said he’d always choose me first and we would always be solving the problem together - breaking up had never crossed his mind. I remember at that point just a huge sense of relief and comfort from knowing we’d always have each other’s back even if in the moment we weren’t pleased with one another.
Is it weird that is scares me because I do trust him so much? We’re all so f’d up 😆
Rising Star
I always see responses in these types of threads that scream people are in bad relationships/marriages. I don't think you can unequivocally trust your SO with everything, to read your mind, to know how you're feeling, etc. But you must trust them to listen to you when you need to talk, not go around shouting on the rooftops what you have said, and not to mention trust them to respect any boundaries - be it personal, emotional, or financial.
Rising Star
Covid hit — her parents wanted her to come home. I didn’t want to leave NYC. She absolutely refused to leave me.
Rising Star
Trust = performance / time.
It takes time to build trust through consistent performance. Facing tough times successfully helps.
Rising Star
Before we started dating… you shouldn’t enter a relationship without some foundation of trust
When you know, you know. It’s pretty clear. For me it was not a specific situation but just building it together via many experiences. I trust my partner (now spouse) with my life. If I didn’t, I would not have gotten married - End of story.
I never questioned them. Was completely natural. They met me at my worst.
Trust from a loyalty perspective? the day I layed that pipe down.
All other things, still don’t...