For those of you in a heterosexual relationship and who also have small children at home, no nanny and a spouse that also works (I know, a lot of qualifiers), how often do you and your spouse have arguments? Fights? I find my husband and I are arguing almost every day and having fights at least once a week. I don’t think it was this bad pre-covid and wondering if this is normal for these times? We haven’t spent time with anyone other than our immediate family of 4 since March...

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

I think it is more common than you are hearing about from your friends. I’m in a similar boat because we are always on each other’s nerves.

like

Definitely new normal for those actually spending time in a wfh bubble with their kids and spouse only.

like

I'm not sure all the qualifiers are needed haha. I'm newly married, no kids and still arguing constantly. I chalk it up to the pandemic! No alone time, we're always in each other's space, and lots of added stress. Add kids + no nanny on top of that and I can only imagine how hard it would be. We're doing marriage counseling and it really helps, so I recommend that. But I also think you should open up to some of your close friends -- they can probably relate more than you think. And if they are one of the lucky few who can't, hopefully they'll provide a kind ear to vent to.

like

Same boat! Married in February right before pandemic hit hard and now talking about divorce.

We have no kids but are both sole caretakers of our respective elderly parents; AND husband’s parents live with us.

Never fought before marriage. Since I had to move my mom back near us to care for too in July and my firm ended their lease on the office thereafter, stuff starting hitting hard at home.

Husband has many businesses he runs from home pre- pandemic, but these two additional shifts of having another parent nearby and me wfh full time has him beyond angry and mean all the time. It got so bad I left this past week and spent our 1st Christmas away from him.

I think marriage counseling will help a lot of couples if both are willing to engage. Unfortunately my SO is not willing, so I’m seeking an individual therapist for my sanity and mental health.

You are not alone!!

likehelpful

So our style is not to argue on the regular but to have more of a “blow up” about every few months. Lately it’s been more frequent and more intense when we’re having them. My spouse also works shift work (3-11:30pm), so I am sort of a “single parent” who has primary responsibility most evenings by myself. For some reason, that aspect of our lives has been more stressful lately. Luckily we haven’t killed each other or split up yet (I know several who have initiated divorce proceedings since March).

like

Weekly. Both working from home. We have a blended family (his mine and ours) and there is always someone with hurt feelings. And I’m the only one who knows how to cook or clean. It’s an emotional roller coaster

like

Similar situation although my kid is in preschool all day - we have dumb arguments daily. They don’t last and we move on quickly but it’s definitely heightened since pre covid. It seems like it’s pretty common and also makes sense since we’re both home all day together and there’s a lot more overall stress on everyone

like

None of my friends that are under similar circumstances have talked about having this issue but I’m wondering if maybe it’s just something that people are keeping private. For me it’s something I would talk to a friend about in person over cocktails maybe but not over text or zoom so I guess I’m trying to gauge if this is part of the new normal for some?

like

Almost every day seems like a lot. Have you thought about couples counseling?

like

Both of you should try reading The Five Love Languages.

like

This has really helped me in my personal and professional relationships.

like

Give all those with kiddos and loud chewing SOs soooo much credit. You are all saints!!!

like

We fight a lot. Two young kids. Two dogs. Me biglaw and he is six years into his professional career. We’re seven hours from family. Both burnt the fuck out. Our fights aren’t even over big things just dumb things that spiral. It’s so hard. We both feel like we’re doing everything all the time, and the pressure of our jobs just causes hell for everything else.

Related Posts

How has Covid impacted your fringe benefits? Travel perks (miles, points, per diem, meals, client events, etc.) we’re a major selling point in joining my firm. Our travel has been all but slashed, but I’m not seeing any consolidations to make up for these lost benefits.

like

How do you not care / stress way too much about your job? I am a mom and stressed out most workday evenings thinking about the work / interactions during the day. I have heard TEd talks about compartmentalizing job vs personal life , mindfulness etc , but I don’t change. I could literally leave my job & focus on kids alone & be fine as husband is in a executive position. Yet, it’s my own career focus & my self induced stress and pressure that takes a toll on me. What’s your advice for me?

likehelpful

First time sending kid to school. She’s pre-k4 and the school nurse just called and said her nose is running but she has no fever and seems fine. Should I go pick her up? Just not sure what the norm is. TIA.

like

More people died of covid under Biden than under Trump.

like

Hi, I am a single-parent with a 9 year old daughter. Is anyone else dealing with same gender sleepovers with sexual exploration occurring? Exploring as in my daughter says outright “I am going to kiss you,” to her bestie before bed. Then after 15 minutes of giggling in bed I go to tell them to be quiet and see my daughter’s bestie is showing her buttcheeks to my daughter. To top it off they start trying to tell me they are laughing because they are reading “belly laugh books for kids”. Help.

I’m 5 weeks with my second and dying of exhaustion and nausea. Let my kid watch two movies this morning while I slept and then also slept during their nap. Wtf. I have some part time freelance work I need to do and can’t find the energy at all. Almost thankful to have lost my job, I don’t think I could handle it. I remember if being like this the first time, but man.

like

Weird. 32 and only started thinking a kid might be fun to have with my boyfriend but also thinking “nahhh”. Going to be a fun 10 years figuring that one out 🤔

like

I find myself on maternity leave with a sweet baby that likes to nurse basically all the time. Can you ladies suggest streaming series / podcasts / audiobooks etc? All subjects are fair game. Thank you!

like

Lookign to staff people( Analyst to SC, USDC, PDM) with Aws development background.Have to be living in US for more than 3 yrs. Experience in building ETL/ data engineering pipeline, lambda,spark,airflow,snowflake. Long term project with optional remote work going beyond covid timeline. DM me separately if interested.

like

So I just had 2 tables fight in a restaurant. Table A coughed and table B said oh covid and laughed. Happens that table A is Asian and table B is white.
Table A assumed the joke is because they are Asian and table B says no, everyone got covid not just Asians it’s just a bad joke; who is right?
Table A escalated to a fight and had to be both separated and asked to leave. Who is right?

likehelpfulfunny

The yts are BIG mad that coronavirus isn’t plaguing Africa.

Post Photo
like

so turns out BLR office peeps are spreading covid to fellow coworkers… leadership plz send help

South Asian ladies in this bowl, long shot but do y'all have any single brother older than 33 that are looking to date / settle down? Bonus points if Gujarati 🤗☺️

likefunnysmart

Hey guys, I recently had to move to India to take care of family due to COVID and cannot return as my visa was denied. So I have decided to move to Canada since I’m a permanent resident. Does anyone have any opportunities in Toronto? I’m a Sr Consultant (data analytics specialization) with 3 years of experience and 2 years of prior experience in financial analysis.

Any help is valuable!

Insurance company just denied my prior authorization for IVF due to high FSH.

I can't afford paying it myself. I’m 40, it’s like my last chance of having a child in this life is vanishing. I am heartbroken.

like

Anyone here who has applied for L1A to move from Canada to US in the last couple of years (post-COVID)? Did you get L1A stamped I. Canada or went back to India? Also, what was the wait time to get the visa appointment for L1A?

like

Womp - have Covid (vaxxed) and feel like I just have a slight cold. Anyone have similar experience - when could a test will come back negative?

like

Is Indy a good place to raise a family? Looking to hear from people who actually live here lol

like

More Posts

I’m designing some stickers for some consulting/corporate lingo! What do y’all think?
🤓

Post Photo
likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

Have you shared any online reading resources for your (2021-22) students to use over the summer? If so, what? I have found that First Book offers a good program.

like

Does Cognizant HR revise offer letter once we accept it? Tata Consultancy Wipro Accenture Capgemini Cognizant Deloitte USI Infosys

like

Is IB worth the sacrifice of WLB? Obvious pay is really good but are the prestige and pay worth it if you’re planning on only doing it for a couple years?

Currently working at an IRA with great WLB. Honestly I love my job, the firm, and people I work with.

Also doing MBA part time at a T15 school. Thinking about switching to IB but I’ve done my research and I think I would burn out of IB in two years but I might be ok with that for the opportunities after.

like

Does Accenture require their employees/consultants to report all of their (including the family) financials holdings?

like

I was diagnosed Cancer and got my surgery done But follow up are to be done Can I ask for early release from TCS based on the health condition as TCS salary is not enough to cover my expenses. Medical insurance is hectic and doesn't cover many things

like

Hi fishes,

Is there a deadline for accepting the offer letter in Cognizant once the acceptance portal mail has been sent?

Also if I accept and then decline later before joining, what will be the consequences? It says in the acceptance portal that the offer letter is legally binding.

like

Has anyone ever made the transition from sales to marketing? I’ve done Business development for over 3 years now and I’m super excited to make the transition as sales is not my passion. Just curious if any classes I can take or other steps I can take to be ready for a marketing role. Thank you!

like

Does anyone have any resource recommendations for beginners trying to learn financial modeling?

like

My building management increased rent. Tried to negotiate and did not work. Are they kidding? Increase rent during these times? LOL Now I don’t want to stay here.

like

Any advice for getting your name out there as a junior attorney?

like

I’m the PM for a product that uses both iOS and Android as mobile platforms. From a planning perspective, do you track the platforms in different epics or do you create stories for both mobile operating systems in the same epic for the feature being built?

like

Hi
Need referral in WIPRO
Req ID: 2709147

like

From how much YOE experience they start offering C4?

like

Hi friends! I’m looking for resources to help me be successful in a “Functional Lead” role.

The role is in FinTech
I’m responsible for strategy, comms and key partnerships for a bank product. It reports through Customer Experience but touches product, Ops. marketing. It’s basically a Project Manager role but more nuanced.

Anyone out there in a role like this? Any books. videos or even best practices to share?

like

Is it possible to switch the project if we don't like the work that which we getting assigned.Infosys

Completed probation period.
Switched to project on oct 9

Actually i don't like TL behaviour it's making me uncomfortable.

Friday night NY... who's up to meet at a cigar lounge and exchange the week's war stories?

like

Hello,

I have offer from

Optum, Harman Connected Services, CGI, WIPRO, Concentrix and LTImindtree

All of them are giving package of around 18 lpa. And location for optum and wipro is Hyderabad others are in Bangalore

My joining date is near can you please help me in choosing one of the best from these.

YOE : 3.9
Skills : Java, Springboot, Microservice, Azure Cloud with React Js

like

Will tcs mark in blacklist, If someone does not join tcs after accepting the offer due to another good offer? Please suggest

Hello Fishes,

I have got an offer of 20 LPA from TCS. And i got a better offer from this.
Just wanted to know, if I reject the offer of TCS, will they put me in blacklist or something?
Or If i accept and not join them, will it have some consequences?

like

Additional Posts in Women in Law

For the married and/engaged ladies, did you have any pre-wedding jitters? I recently got engaged (yay!) and I have felt for a very long time that my partner truly is my soulmate. I don’t have any reservations or hang ups about marrying him, but the sole idea of a lifetime physically makes me anxious. I feel guilty having these feelings when I couldn’t be more certain about the decision to marry him. Can anyone else relate?

like

Thoughts on daycare vs. nanny starting at 4 months old?

like

Has anyone used a surrogate? If yes, how did you find them and would you recommend the experience? I really want kids and have not yet started trying to have them naturally but the idea of pregnancy and birth are absolutely terrifying me. I’m sure everyone is nervous about it but my fear is getting bigger and bigger and I just turned 30 so I’m hearing my biological clock ticking.

like

Any advice for getting your name out there as a junior attorney?

like

Question for a crowd with good negotiation skills...my sibling is marrying someone of a different faith. My mom is freaking out and doesn’t want to go to the wedding. How can I resolve this?

Those of you with the Beis work tote (not the mini), do you think it’s too big of a bag for day to day carrying during a month long trial? I’m looking for something that can carry my laptop and a decent amount of supplies (notepads, personal care items, etc.) and have heard good things, but the work tote looks massive in the product photos online!

like

Seeking advise for my first solo jury trial coming up. What are some things you wish you would have known?

Type: Civil litigation contract dispute. I’m defense.

like

Does anybody find it helps to “get ready” in the mornings with wfh? I still want to be comfortable with athleisure, but I’m wondering if fixing my hair and maybe a little makeup will make a difference mentally. Feeling so burnt out and unmotivated lately.

like

Should I send an external email at 2am or send it the next day?

like

Had a talk with the partners Thursday, they said I’m not producing enough work at the end of each day. First year associate, new area of law, wfh so they are more “what are you doing every second”. They want me to start turning in a daily log (we are plaintiffs attorneys so no billing normally) any advice? While I appreciate their honesty, I feel like they consider me severely indebted to them that they hired me mid pandemic and “allow” me to work from home.

like

I moved out to the suburbs about 7 months ago. Between that and the pandemic I have lost touch with friends. I reach out as get “yea let’s hang” but when it comes to making definite plans, crickets. It’s been hard because work is so busy and I have my partners children around too. Struggling to reconnect now that ppl are hanging out again and I don’t get invited. Feeling super isolated and lonely.

like

Has anyone left a firm for a different opportunity (loved the folks at their first firm), realized grass may not have been greener, & gone back?

like

I going to my first in person conference since the pandemic. It’s Thursday and Friday. I was thinking about business casual on Thursday (light colored pants and black blazer). Would jeans be okay for Friday? I know as a law student I always looked super formal at any conference but would it still be needed as a practicing attorney?

like

For the past 6+ months, I've been thinking of getting an LV neverful MM for work, but I was wondering if anyone has a Valentino rockstud or the YSL shopping tote? Is the neverfull the best option for work (and carryon travel)?

like

Someone please tell me where in tf I need to drop my Hinge location in the DMV area to find my person. I’m in Baltimore and am getting frustrated/losing hope after only finding guys whose time would’ve been better spent focusing on themselves to be emotionally available and ready to date rather than dating as a distraction. I’m convinced I’m going to die alone. And if you have a single guy friend in that area who is a genuinely good person, please let me know 😂

likefunny

So I posted a bit ago about getting IV hydration and vitamins. You guys gave me the courage to try it. After I had it done, I didn't feel much of a difference and figured I just spent a bunch of $ to relax for an hour in a massage chair. 🤷🏼‍♀️ But this has been the best week I've had energy-wise in the last seven months. And I kind of wish I could post before/after pics because apparently I was very bloated. I've been focusing on keeping up with my hydration at home. Thx ladies!

likehelpful

Just found out i did not pass the bar..any suggestions on how to muster up the confidence to take it again especially while now being full time and I have 2 kids.

like

I quit. I was respectful. Thankfully, every person I have told has been so nice, and I wasn't immediately bounced out by my leadership (which has happened), but I have been surprised by my own bittersweet tears. If they actually cared, why didn't they say so sooner? I gave so much, and I was consumed by this organization. I invested in them, but my investment and dedication were not reciprocated, which is why I ever even entertained leaving. I don't know why it hurts, but it really, really does.

likehelpful

Any females in this bowl leave a midsize or large firm to go solo? I’d like to hear all the pros!!

likehelpful

Anyone know how to get expedited shipping on the Nordstrom website?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal