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I think it is more common than you are hearing about from your friends. I’m in a similar boat because we are always on each other’s nerves.
Definitely new normal for those actually spending time in a wfh bubble with their kids and spouse only.
I'm not sure all the qualifiers are needed haha. I'm newly married, no kids and still arguing constantly. I chalk it up to the pandemic! No alone time, we're always in each other's space, and lots of added stress. Add kids + no nanny on top of that and I can only imagine how hard it would be. We're doing marriage counseling and it really helps, so I recommend that. But I also think you should open up to some of your close friends -- they can probably relate more than you think. And if they are one of the lucky few who can't, hopefully they'll provide a kind ear to vent to.
Same boat! Married in February right before pandemic hit hard and now talking about divorce.
We have no kids but are both sole caretakers of our respective elderly parents; AND husband’s parents live with us.
Never fought before marriage. Since I had to move my mom back near us to care for too in July and my firm ended their lease on the office thereafter, stuff starting hitting hard at home.
Husband has many businesses he runs from home pre- pandemic, but these two additional shifts of having another parent nearby and me wfh full time has him beyond angry and mean all the time. It got so bad I left this past week and spent our 1st Christmas away from him.
I think marriage counseling will help a lot of couples if both are willing to engage. Unfortunately my SO is not willing, so I’m seeking an individual therapist for my sanity and mental health.
You are not alone!!
So our style is not to argue on the regular but to have more of a “blow up” about every few months. Lately it’s been more frequent and more intense when we’re having them. My spouse also works shift work (3-11:30pm), so I am sort of a “single parent” who has primary responsibility most evenings by myself. For some reason, that aspect of our lives has been more stressful lately. Luckily we haven’t killed each other or split up yet (I know several who have initiated divorce proceedings since March).
Weekly. Both working from home. We have a blended family (his mine and ours) and there is always someone with hurt feelings. And I’m the only one who knows how to cook or clean. It’s an emotional roller coaster
Similar situation although my kid is in preschool all day - we have dumb arguments daily. They don’t last and we move on quickly but it’s definitely heightened since pre covid. It seems like it’s pretty common and also makes sense since we’re both home all day together and there’s a lot more overall stress on everyone
None of my friends that are under similar circumstances have talked about having this issue but I’m wondering if maybe it’s just something that people are keeping private. For me it’s something I would talk to a friend about in person over cocktails maybe but not over text or zoom so I guess I’m trying to gauge if this is part of the new normal for some?
Almost every day seems like a lot. Have you thought about couples counseling?
Both of you should try reading The Five Love Languages.
This has really helped me in my personal and professional relationships.
Bowl Leader
Give all those with kiddos and loud chewing SOs soooo much credit. You are all saints!!!
We fight a lot. Two young kids. Two dogs. Me biglaw and he is six years into his professional career. We’re seven hours from family. Both burnt the fuck out. Our fights aren’t even over big things just dumb things that spiral. It’s so hard. We both feel like we’re doing everything all the time, and the pressure of our jobs just causes hell for everything else.