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You are correct, creating spiritual ties are a true source of conflict, mental health issues, and general being unfulfilled in the context of partner relationships
I will tell you that once you are convinced casual sex is not on the table. Sharing becomes easier.
When I meet someone and I probe about their values around family and sex. Keep conversations exploratory , on the phone.
If we both are interested, I move from phone conversation to in person but I explain what celibacy is and why it works for me.
I’ve met some folks that just say - no thank you. I directly ask if they are willing to wait until marriage. I just listen. This will tell you what you need to know.
I have had a guy basically stop interacting only to find him desperately needing me to attend a family function with him. He bought me clothes and then I said nope still no sex… jewelry… sorry. Then he tried to manipulate me with the threat of telling my friends that I was a slut - the irony here. My friends laughed at him and told him to knock it off.
He was an abuse counselor- by the way.
You get all kinds… I’d recommend praying and if they are acting weird accept that as they are not onboard which is fine. Cut ties immediately less you be tempted.
Found a wonderful man that was in a similar situation and wanted to abstain and we are very happy abstaining, going to church and traveling together.
You got this … just stay firm and you will be rewarded
A great question! I decided about a year ago that I would be celibate. It was maybe 3 months into dating after getting divorced. I bring it up very early on, it is a deal breaker for a lot of people which I understand. But sets the expectations early so if we do continue, they already know.
May I ask why you want to try celibacy? Just curious so please don’t take this the wrong way!
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Mental health, spiritual health, emotional health - many things. Casual sex is not fulfilling to me. I had my hook up stage in an earlier phase of my life and now I am only interested in connecting on that deep level with a committed partner.