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Coach
On the path of FIRE and still doing a wedding. In the process of planning one.
1) figure out if you actually want a wedding. If FIRE is more important, don't do a wedding. It's a lot of $$ for one day but at the same time, its prob one of the last few times you get your family and friends to celebrate with you
2) if you decide to do a wedding, do a small wedding / do it at a restaurant. They already have all the chairs/china/linens.
3) figure out what your priorities are. Is it a wedding dress that make you look fabulous? Is it pictures / videos that you can reminisce down the road? You don't have to splurge on everything
4) cash gift instead of traditional registry
Cheaped out but splurged on honey moon. We spent 5k on rings, wedding, and honeymoon to Montreal (which was over half of the 5k).
We had the ring custom made and wife picked it out, so she got exactly what she wanted, too. Diamonds are a waste.
Parents paid for the wedding 😁
We spend about $6,000 on the wedding and rings.
Mentor
Rings: don't quite remember, but in 100s each, while in Brazil few months before wedding (no diamond coz wanted to avoid blood diamonds; lab grown not a thing back in
2007)
Wedding: Around 4K for 150 guests, using conference center with lodging that applied our guests' lodging costs to their 17k wedding fee. Food on site, cake-decorating party following rehearsal dinner, open bar of wine and kegs supplied cheaply from friend at winery (we live in wine country, CA).
Loved our weekend wedding with on-site lodging coz got to actually see people before & after. Also people went wilder on alcohol coz no driving needed until they slept it off 😉
Coach
3 options:
- Elope
- very small destination wedding
- have a family pay for whatever wedding they want
Coach
Take rings out of the equation. If you don’t go for a real Diamond ring (which is all marketing hype), you can get both for under $1k. My band cost under $100, and I have several friends who bought bands on Amazon.
My legal wedding was at a location that meant something to me and my wife, with our parents, grandparents, and an officiant. The biggest cost of the day was the lunch we catered, which was under $500. $0 location fee.
My “celebration” wedding was a destination wedding with 40 of our closest friends and extended family. All-in cost was under $25k including her dress, me buying my groomsmen their suits, and both the rehearsal dinner and the actual reception. We basically went on vacation with a ceremony in the middle.
Photographer doesn’t need to be $2k. Mine was about that but included flights and hotel. If you are doing it local, you can find a very good photog for a few hours for $500.
Part of “FIRE” means living frugally and not having to feel obliged to live a lifestyle that meets a social norm. Most people who FIRE drive 7 to 10 year old cars. My first rental property had more square footage than my personal residence. None of my clothes are designer (unless you count a few athletic jerseys I got on clearance when my favorite teams change styles so I buy the previous style for cheap).
If you think you need a $2k photographer, $10k wedding venue, and $25k ring, then you’ll never FIRE.
In our culture, guests bring money as gifts to the wedding. We made a few thousand dollars by having the wedding, and used it for our honeymoon.