For those who switched firms, how did you handle the awkwardness of the process (asking people at your current company for references [is this something I should even do?], biting your tongue when leaders try to slot you in long-term projects/initiatives, taking PTO to interview and lying about what you did, etc)? Looking to switch firms soon and trying to see what I should do.

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Did most of these things:

1. Don’t tell anyone in your current firm, new firm did not ask for recommendations or references, if they did I would put people from outside the firm regardless
2. Again don’t say anything about taking long-term projects, just bite your tongue, do not give any hints you are looking to move to a competitor
3. Yes took PTO and tried to schedule everything for Friday’s. Most in person stuff is going to be on Friday’s so I just took PTO and said I had family matters to attend to.

I know others may feel different but I gave no inclination I was leaving throughout the whole process, they have no reason to know, it’s my business. I put in my two weeks calmly after I got the offer, just scheduled time with my mentor to let them know and start the process. I did not reveal who I was leaving for until pushed, and still did not reveal the firm name.

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Referrals are typically used AFTER the offer decision I believe to ensure you weren’t lying about your responsibilities or your employment in general. Always good to choose people you trust and are close to.

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Cannot emphasize what A2 mentioned above enough. Do not tell anyone under any circumstance. Even after you accept the offer, there could be weeks before you officially start. Months if there is a visa transfer involved. I made the mistake of hinting about my plans to a “trusted” Partner when they tried to roll a peer off a major engagement and having me take over his team. Within a week the practice lead knew and I had to deal with 7 weeks of awkwardness.
Ultimately realize that we are all easily disposable. The project doesn’t stop and everyone moves on. So keep it shut :)

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Not really. Though I was from Consulting, I had to take an extra step of declaring that I was moving to an audit client. Doesn’t affect you as long as you have never directly served the client (you wouldn’t have in most cases anyway given the relationship)

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Yeah 100% do not tell anyone at your firm, even if you trust someone totally, don’t put the burden of trying to avoid slipping up on someone else

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I quit 🤣

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