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Additional Posts in Advertising Confessions
I can’t shake this feeling...
If you say “work wife” I’m judging you. Grow up
I wish I worked in the PC era (pre-cell phone).
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I’m sorry this happened to you. I’ve learned that everyone is friendly, but few are your friend. Pick yourself up and challenge yourself to be a better person: both career-wise and in being sincere.
Print the screen shot and schedule a meeting with her and another superior present. That will clear that right up. What she created is a hostile work environment and she just gave you all the cards to decide if you still want to work with her or get her fired, which sounds like is what she deserves. But, you could just make her indebted to you and carry the shame that you know what she's been doing. I'd also request a new mentor and have a list of who I want ready to bring up in that meeting.
Only you can know whether to bring it up or not. But in similar situations I’ve found it best to gradually get too busy to talk to them ever again. They usually get the point... and I get to not interact with a petty jealous person anymore.
I also agree with CD2. I think she is threatened by you, and by “joining forces” with groups who have historically kept other groups down, she’s able to maintain her sense of worth. If anything, watch for it in yourself as you mentor young people, and make sure they aren’t being kept down by your own insecurities. (Not that I think you have insecurities, obviously, or that you would put them into others. I just know I personally need to remind myself of that sometimes, too.)
Those types of people are mirrors of themselves. They tend to have so much self-loathing that they bash the very groups they belong to. I don’t know you, but it’s almost certainly not you. It’s her own issues she has. And, while I understand why she has those issues, it’s not helping better our community
From where I’m sitting this is classic threat, as in she sees you, as another WOC, as competition versus ally/someone who can help her (and vice versa) solve the riddle that corporate America can be for POC, females, most everyone. Weak on her part.
I am so sorry this has happened to you. I know how painful it can be. We are humans, and I personally have both gossiped and have been gossiped about at work. (Not proud of the gossiping part.) I find the older I get, that it is crucial I am my own advocate. How would you feel about confronting this person (in a calm manner). I only ask because I’m finding that the pain can be compounded when I don’t have my own back. Just a thought. Again, so sorry.
☝🏾Do this.
My fear is when you confide in someone they know so much about you - your personal fears, hopes, weaknesses. And now she can use these against me. I probably won’t confront because people (and she has now proved herself as petty people) most often don’t respond well to being caught in these situations. I’m wondering if my best bet is to play dumb, like nothing’s happened, and perhaps offer her a few red herrings for good measure.
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Truly sucks, so sorry you’ve been made to feel this way. Jealousy perhaps?
That’s just terrible, so sorry this happened to you.
Thanks everyone, it’s a mentor I met while in school, she’s at another company. Just a bummer.
👆🏼All of this
Bah. That’s shitty. I’m sorry. It is good that you know. I would say don’t say anything and try to let it go. If you confront them they will most likely deny it and it will be weird. Keep your head up.
Let me assure you, CD2, corporate America is a riddle for us all.
Sounds embarrassing.. for her. The older I get, the more I realize that anyone who gossips is insecure with themselves, even if to CD2’s point it’s about cutting down competition. We’re in such a subjective industry that it’s hard to judge what makes us good.. so we make things up about others to make ourselves feel better