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Hi all,
I have two campus EY Deloitte on the table from Deloitte Tax (BTS), and EY Tax (DSG). Both are located in the SF Bay Area. Deloitte is paying 2k higher base and a 2k higher bonus.
I have to make my decision by the end of next week, so I’d appreciate some input and opinions on which offer I should take.
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Chief
He's not your friend - let it go, but stop talking to him.
Enthusiast
What? That is an over the top reaction!
They are friends. He took her out for dinner which I interpret as him paying. He had shit to do later on (or not). He can be simply a rigid /OCD person who isn’t good with spontaneity. He apologized to her for speaking sharply. How is he the bad guy here to the point of “never speak to him again”?!
OP needs to use her words and tell him why she shut down and why it triggered her so they can both avoid this happening going forward.
Pro
You should absolutely bring it up. Let him know how that made you feel & how that has changed the dynamics of the friendship.
This is just gaslighting. People’s actions DO affect how you feel - other people can’t “make you” ACT a certain way, but they can make you FEEL a certain way. We all need to take responsibilities for our actions - and that includes him, for making OP feel disrespected, and OP, for shutting down.
Start with “hey, I was thinking about the other night... is everything ok?”
(Insert his excuse: work/stress/sleep)
And then go into “ok- because I was very uncomfortable with how it went. I’m here to help you with (above) but that was unfair to me”
Rising Star
Then it’s definitely worth talking about it. I may be too understanding, but I feel like we’re all not 100% ourselves because of the ongoing pandemic. Not justifying what he did at all, but just something to consider.
I hope you’re able to talk with him and work through it.
Rising Star
Depends on how much of a friend he is. Either cut him loose now or have a firm talk.
Pro
The next time you talk just let him know very calmly the next time he behaves like that with you will be the very last time you talk to him.
Pro
Why did he even say that... I think we are missing context
There’s no need to bring it up unless you plan to continue interacting with him and spending time with it. If that’s the case, then just be clear that you expect to be spoken to in a certain way and that if he has something on his mind, he needs to verbalize it instead of being irritable.
Omg. I meant irritable. There. LOL.
Talk to him about it! "hey the other day, when you raised your voice, it felt uncomfortable because xyz"
I think you should first ask about his well being to see if there is something going on in his life that is causing this undue stress (and undue response to you). This last year has been hard for everyone.
Based on his response, do share about how it made you feel still emphasizing that you’re here as a friend but that he has to communicate.