FRIENDSHIP problems. Me and my best friend’s relationship drifted far apart during Covid where we don’t talk anymore. Nothing happened, just lack of effort. We used to be inseparable sisters. I tried making the effort to talk, but all I would get is short fake texts. I’m worried that I won’t have any friends or BFF to stand by me at my wedding. My circle of friends to talk/connect is getting smaller. I used to have a lot of friends but now not so much, I’m 27.

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This happened to me with my best friend even before covid and I’m 36, so totally feel you. It’s not easy to make friends as you get older because groups are already established. I’ll say this though, If your friend isn’t worried about this drifting away like you are, she’s not a best friend to begin with. It took me a long time to realize I was the one always putting in effort with mine, and I’d be the first to discuss fights, try to apologize etc or get to the root of our issues. It’s not worth it. You’re better off without friends than with ones who are wasting your time and energy. I know it’s sucks and it’s lonely but as you get older you’ll realize this too. Life’s too short to waste on people who don’t equally value your time and honor mutual respect.

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27 here as well. A so called best friend of mine ghosted me a couple years ago while she knew I was going through a quarter life crisis. Similar to your situation, we were inseparable at a point in time. I even considered her to be a sister back in the day. Instead of being there for me, she just plain stopped responding to texts and blew me off. So, I considered her gone from my life periodt. Then, covid happened and she reached out to see if I wanted to catch up over wine at her “new” place and tried to act like everything was fine. Sorry, I’m only getting older and I value quality over cornflakes. So, during our “phone date” I just kept things short and succinct. No one gets to ghost me and then crawl out of the cemetery to “check in” just because she’s bored. My life isn’t for any one’s entertainment.

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Could it be that your friend is dealing with depression and therefore not as chatty?

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Friends come and go. Sucks but that's how it is. I'm 60.

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This. And once you have families and such if you get peeves by them being too busy for you then you’ll never have friends.

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I’m 27 too and I’m right there with ya sister. I’d make a last ditch effort on a phone call/FaceTime to reiterate that you value the friendship, etc and if that doesn’t work then gurl bye.

I’ve had trouble making friends in my new city (I say new but I’ve been here for 3 years lol) and really only have my best college and high school friends that all live in different cities than me and it’s tough. But as I get older I realize more and more that quality > quantity

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you’ll find your way back. true friendships have seasons. it’s not always summer.

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I have accounting friends so they never get offended when I respond a week later. We all know the life. We don’t take it personal and we pick up right where we leave off when we talk or see each other. I have other friends non accounting that mb don’t get this job but know we are friends no matter what. They are not going anywhere and neither am I. Not a big deal and just like my accounting friends we pick up right where left off bc we know we are there. Cheesy but it’s just life, true friends don’t treat you like that. Also I probably have like 5 friends lol but I don’t need anymore. You should use this to realize who your true friends are.

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On the flip side, I actually made a best friend with a fairly close friend of mine who moved away to a different city, and especially this year during COVID we’ve gotten so close and FaceTime at least once a day, even if just briefly because we both work from home so why not 😀

I think nowadays we all just have to make an effort and keep reaching out. One of my other friends shared an interesting thought - she feels that she needs to have dedicated time to set aside and talk, which is hard with life and a baby, so she finds she jsut doesn’t call people as much as she would like to. She means well, but other people may not realize this. Maybe there’s a barrier like that as the reason y’all aren’t staying in touch. I find the more often you do it, the easier and easier it becomes and can be quick as opposed to full life updates. Good luck!

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This happened to me and my best friend it’s been three years. You know what my life is peaceful now. These things can be blessings in disguise.

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People grow apart, and there's nothing wrong with that. Y'all might get back to being hella tight when the pandemic is over. Stress does weird things to relationships, and while it's hard to meet new people right now, it's not impossible. Plus this could be a really good chance to spend time getting to know people you wanted to spend more time with but didn't have the time to do so. Zoom, text, messenger... Heck, I know some people that are friends by postcard alone (one of them moved across the country).

Also if no one told you about the mid-20s crisis, this is it. You wake up one day sometime (usually between age 24 and age 28), and you realize that your relationships have gotten strained and weird. This happened to like 98% of the people I know. Most ended up in a better place mentally once they figured out how the relationship(s) got strained and if there was anything they could have done about it to preempt it.

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I hate to say it but you two were never BFFs if you two suddenly have nothing to talk about since COVID. Reality is that as you get older your friend group will get smaller but those tend to be your real friends. You’ll be better off in the long run by retaining true friends even if it’s only 1-2 people rather than have fake friends hanging about

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Thanks for all the advice and sharing your experiences everyone!! Makes me feel better that I’m not alone in this :’)

Me and my boys have a constant group chat. We just send memes all day and facetime on the weekends. We all live in different states now. Do you live far away?

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