From one woman facing a divorce.. hope this post helps other women avoid making the same mistakes. 1. Please take time.. please be very careful before jumping in under the slogan of “you know when y

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ou know” just because you are in your 30’s. I am in my mid-30’s, have dated a lot, thought I spent such extensive amount of time with this person and the relationship was deeper than other 1-2 year long relationships I had at the surface level, but wasn’t enough.

2. Please stick with your criteria and don’t deviate from it. I’m sure many of you have established what kind of men you are willing to / not willing to date based on your values and preferences. “Open mind” doesn’t work unless you are very careful at still monitoring red flags and misaligned values objectively, which is hard to do when you feel a connection.

3. Please keep a WRITTEN inventory of red flags, including dates and what happened so that you can look back and objectively see the situation. I really wish I had done that. Trying to remember red flags doesn’t work, especially if the relationship takes much of the free time you have after demanding working hours.

4. It may be considered mean by some people, but please consider breaking things off via text, phone, etc. if you can’t stay strong and won’t get swept back into the relationship when the guy says whatever it takes to get you to stay. The hurt the other person feels that you didn’t deliver the message in person vs via text / phone, pales in comparison to the pain you are going to feel if you end up being swayed by the guy and things don’t work out later.

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Man talk about cliffhanger- where’s the rest OP?

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???

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I hope OP is okay. A very abrupt post and now I can’t watch my show without wondering what she was gonna say.

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“You know when you know” isn’t reliable for anything, least of all a lifetime commitment. Sorry OP, hope you’ve got supports in your life to help you with the transition. Not pleasant, but surely a lot of learning, too.

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Ah thanks BCG1- I always was bad at wheel of fortune. Hope you’re fine OP- went through a divorce myself recently. It was a painful experience, but it’s all part of the ride for some.

thank you for sharing, as a single female, 30s, this is really helpful to me. I'm really sorry that you went through this, you are still young and seems like you have learned a lot. The best is yet to Come for you

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Hey there...

Possible ending:....”you know” ????

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