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Let’s get their together!
Gave my resignation this week and I feel so good!
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Rising Star
Omg, SM, I’m so so sorry. That’s incredibly traumatic and you shouldn’t have to go through it alone.
Are you in the states? Can you take shelter somewhere safe?
Please report that person and LEAVE your husband. I am sorry you went through this
So sorry you’re going through this! Controlling an SO regardless of the reason is not ok. I feel the later unfortunate incident just proves his desire to control that doesn’t stem from prioritizing concern for you. Then again, it could be he’s dealing with his own shock and can’t take action and communicate this well with you. Still, you deserve to be consoled and be shown support over what happened! Would recommend talking to a therapist to process all of this. I don’t know your circumstances (financial, cultural, etc.) but I think considering walking away, especially if he isn’t willing and proving he’s going to make changes, is definitely understandable. Don’t force yourself to deal with him on top of your grief if you don’t have to.
i’m so sorry. that is not okay. can you not return to the home? maybe take shelter elsewhere for a while.
no offense but your SO sounds like a pos
Divorce. It's one thing to be possessive, and another to not stand up for you. Possessive can be a slight form of being protective, though not okay I'm going to hope it's coming from a good place. But not defending you and protecting you is unforgivable and unacceptable. There is no way out of this that will work out better. Soon you'll have no voice at all after years of being in this marriage. Maybe no career even. How will you ever leave then?
This is one of the craziest stories I’ve seen. One of his family members sexually assaulted you and both of you remained in the house with the abuser?!? You need to get yourself someone safe NOW and once you’ve had a few days to just recover, grieve, be angry, seek therapy, etc. you need to proceed with a divorce. In no situation is what happened remotely okay or defendable. I am so so sorry. Hugs
I’m so sorry OP 😔
Please make a plan to get out.
Chief
Divorce and call the police ASAP on the abuser.
I am so sorry this happened to you. None of this is your fault.
A SO should not have final say (yes or no) over where you work, when you go into work, going out with other friends, etc. Those things should be a conversation between equals (hey heads up I am going to ‘x’, not can I do ‘x’?). An abusive SO will change things slowly over time and reduce your self confidence while isolating you so you don’t think there are any other options.
Asking for help here is a great first step to making a plan to get out. Please reach out to resources within your city/state/country if you need help making a plan to get out.
If your SO has access to your phone and computer, delete your search history after looking up that info, make a separate email address for sending info/saving info. Do not save the passwords in your browser. Consider doing the search over cellphone networks and not your home WiFi.
If you are still staying somewhere separate now, please find a way to stay there & don’t go back to his place.
Technology is so integrated into our lives, it adds a whole new layer of challenge to a situation like this. Here is a link to an article, https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/blog/domestic-abusers-can-control-your-devices-heres-how-to-fight-back/amp/, let me know if you want the text of the article saved as a google doc link if you want a different url or can’t access the link.
Few days back, someone in his family sexually assaulted me while I was sleeping.
When I told the same to him, he or I.. none of us took a stand for me then
After a few days, i left from his place because I wasn't able to see or talk to that person (who abused).
Lately I have a feeling I want an out of this marriage. I've started feeling stuck. I just start crying whenever i remember any glimpses of that night. And the thought that he was so possessive but yet he didn't take a stand and was ok me facing that guy everyday
Like everyone else is advising - please leave and get yourself to safe shelter. You do not deserve to be in such an abusive and harmful relationship - you deserve to be safe and loved. If you need help DM me and I’ll do whatever I can!
Conversation Starter
OP, it perhaps doesn’t sound like you’re in the US, but I could be wrong. I would recommend to look at what resources you have where you’re at for emergencies like this and if you need to leave quickly, start preparing your stuff when no one else is around to notice and plan where you want to go.