{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Frustrated - I am being considered for a role that would be quarterly travel. The rest remote. I’m currently 100% remote now. My husband is against me taking it since it would be a lateral move.", "post_id": "5c75e841247b41001d09085d", "reply_count": 8, "vote_count": 0, "bowl_id": "58f81646ae9f610010f869be", "bowl_name": "Consulting Moms" }

Frustrated - I am being considered for a role that would be quarterly travel. The rest remote. I’m currently 100% remote now. My husband is against me taking it since it would be a lateral move.

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Can you dig a bit deeper into what his fear is if you take the job? Is it that he doesn’t feel equipped to handle the kids at night alone? That childcare becomes an issue? A pay cut involved that would stretch finances? How specifically will the kids being older help resolve the issue (eg they will be in school, able to sleep through the night, etc)? Then try to find a solution to whatever the issue is for the times you’d be traveling. It sucks that he is not more supportive and brainstorming this proactively with you, but if this is important to you then it’s worth putting the effort in to pursue your goal!

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I think I have wavered a bit on the opportunity not 100% sure and that in combination with travel makes him think I shouldn’t take it. He also just does not do change well in general

I think all the questions BCG1 asked are relevant. Also, what does quarterly travel mean? How long is one trip? If it's one week-long trip and he's worried that the children might get sick while you're gone, you'll need backup care options. If it's one or two overnights every month for a quarter, that would be different. In general though, I'm sorry to hear he's not more supportive and not realizing how important this role is to you. Maybe that's something you should explicitly communicate with him too, if you haven't already.

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However I’m looking for a change but that doesn’t seem to matter to him or the fact that I’ve been targeting this area for a very long time. He says maybe when the children are older. They are almost 2 and 3.

Also curious as to why he is not a fan. Is it the fact that it it lateral? I am guessing he is used to you being home all the time and may fear change.

I think it is that it’s lateral he doesn’t see the point.

Is there an opportunity to advance in the new role? Honestly, I’m not sure I’d jump to a lateral (assuming no pay increase) role and increase my travel unless A) I was truly bored to death in current role or B) it would be a lateral move for now with valid opportunities for advancement. Would you traveling require you guys to add in extra childcare like a nanny or someone to help him while you’re traveling? I don’t travel much and neither does my husband, but wrangling all the kids by myself while he’s traveling and I’m working full time sucks. We have family to help but without family I would have to hire additional hands.

I think what you described is the issue. So my current mgr. is somewhat playing games. It sounds like she wants to put me up for promo but then at the same time won’t. So I could waste another 10 months in a role I’m over and not growing in for a possible promotion or I could jump ship. The other role does have promo opportunities down the road but it would be at least another year. I’m ready for a change. So sometimes I think I should move roles regardless of the promo potential and other times I think I should stay and see what happens. I think my uncertainty along with the travel component is what makes my husband unsupportive. I’m sure he also does not love the idea of being a solo parent 1x a qtr.

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