{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "FTM and first one in my friend’s circle to have a baby. Feeling pretty lost on when to do what. Like when do I sign up for a Lamaze class, and do I even need it. What other classes I need? And is my obgyn going to tell me when to start with the perineal massage. I am not even sure how I know of these terms but what if there is something out there I could do or I need to do and I don’t know about it.", "post_id": "603fe64c58119b0021c2c2e2", "reply_count": 18, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "5a0c9a1f61b01a001937c406", "bowl_name": "Working Moms" }

FTM and first one in my friend’s circle to have a baby. Feeling pretty lost on when to do what. Like when do I sign up for a Lamaze class, and do I even need it. What other classes I need? And is my obgyn going to tell me when to start with the perineal massage. I am not even sure how I know of these terms but what if there is something out there I could do or I need to do and I don’t know about it.

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Get the book “what to expect when you are expecting.” It goes week by week and tells you what to do and how to prepare each week. It’s like a Bible for pregnant women. Also strongly encourage reading book on breastfeeding. It made my experience so much better- bonding, baby less fussy, etc.

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I’m not sure I remember. It was almost 17 years ago. But it was like this one. The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding: Completely Revised and Updated 8th Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/0345518446/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_0RKYBXS497BRGJGXZNMB

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I preferred “expecting better” - made me less crazy

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The best. And Crib Notes, her second book!

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That was me 10 years ago. Agree to the suggestion that you get “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” Also, check with your OBGYN but the hospital I gave birth offered free birth classes for pregnant moms and I attended in the last month or two of pregnancy. I wouldn’t worry about taking other classes - your body will take care of itself as long as you keep yourself healthy, eat good foods, get sleep, and try not to stress out too much! You’ll be seeing your doctor every month and they will tell you what you should be doing and watching out for. As you get closer to the end the visit cadence will pick up. In the meantime, congratulations and enjoy the last few months of relative freedom before your baby is born! 😁

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Lamaze is optional. Breastfeeding class. No need to perineal massage in my opinion but do your kegels and keep moving/exercising! There are 1 million other things out there that you could do but nothing that you need to. A little independent research on breastfeeding if you’re planning to, pain management for labor, and baby sleep schedules will get you way ahead of the game though. Or you can figure it out on the fly like the rest of us 😉

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You can read all the books (agree that what to expect is good), but nothing can prepare you for the reality of what it’s like to bring an actual human out of your body and into your home ❤️ THE best book I ever read was “The No Cry Sleep Solution” and I wish I’d read it before I actually had an infant. I was convinced that I would have a magical unicorn baby that slept through the night bc I LOVE my sleep. I simply couldn’t function on less than 7 hours 😂 😂 joke was on me. Low and behold, my sweet boy would wake up every hour on the hour and I was DYING being back at work. I also wasn’t willing to do a cry it out method, so the book saved both of us. He went from waking up 16 times the worst night, to waking up 2x a night for a quick feeding and then right back to sleep. And then one night he stopped and now he’s an A+ sleeper at 8 years old 😂 asleep by 8 pm every night like clockwork. Lastly, everyone will have advice (often unsolicited). Trust your baby and trust YOURSELF. You’ll figure it out, mama. We all do. Sort of ❤️

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Agree! I wish I had read a baby sleep book before I was too hormonal, dazed and exhausted to understand what I was reading.

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I had both “What to Expect” and “Expecting Better” and I joined the FB mom groups in my area - they’re a wealth of knowledge and I even made some friends that way! I also second the classes at your hospital - even though I didn’t actually retain the cloth diaper pinning info, I loved having access to a Labor and Delivery nurse and the classes did a lot for my nerves. I spent a lot of time learning about and preparing for breastfeeding and then my son spent a week in the NICU and I was hit with a hospital-acquired infection, so I was never able to produce much milk and I really kind of killed myself trying. I would say try to learn what you can without creating too many expectations for yourself that might just stress you out later - postpartum is a crazy time!

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Feel free to message me anytime. I was the first in my friend group as well and there’s an overwhelming amount of things to learn!

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If you are planning on breastfeeding, looking into getting a pump thru your insurance and finding a lactation consultant on your insurance are good ways to prep in advance, as well as picking your pediatrician... The more you can do to prepare before the baby comes, the better! I also liked the Breastfeeding Book by Dr. Sears. You can consider a midwife or doula as well--having a midwife with hospital privileges gave me peace of mind and also she had great suggestions about how to prepare that fit with what we were looking for at the time. (I intended to go full birth center/no drugs and ended up with pitocin/c-section! Babies don't care about your plans!) I also took a Bradley Method class. I think it was probably a little longer than needed but the labor prep was helpful. Part of the point of childbirth classes, I think, is also mental. Lots of people have babies without taking a class, but if it makes you feel more prepared to take one, you should just pick one. Right now your body is working super hard, so do anything that makes you feel better mentally and physically.

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As far as pre-classes go (Lamaze or breastfeeding or whatever) I would say do whatever your comfortable with. In general I think things like that and a birth plan are mainly a way for Moms to feel control and prepared for the birth in advance. Personally, even thinking about it really stressed me out so I chose to not do any classes and I didn’t really research birthing at all and chose to wing it and tbh that really worked for me. My point is to just research what’s available like you asked in here and then decide what would make you feel best and do that. Don’t feel pressured to do anything just because it seems like you should! Most important would be finding a great doctor or midwife and if you want a doula and then deciding whether your planning for an epidural or not. Everything else pretty much got coached to me live while I was giving birth ☺️

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Definitely join a Facebook mom group based on your due date. I was the first as well and this group got me through. I am about to have my second and I am still very close with my first Facebook group. These are secret groups with code names, PM if you want me to help you find yours!

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I’m currently pregnant with my first child and also am the first in my friend group to be pregnant. Feel free to reach out to me and I’ll be happy to share with you what I’ve learned from my OBGYN so far.

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Just like JL1, am the first in the group too! DM me and I’ll send you a bunch of things that’ll help!! And ofc, happy to answer any Q’s you might have!! Congratulations mama!

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You don’t even need the what to expect book. Just download the app. They cover everything and give you tips along the way. Sometimes the hospital you will be delivering at offers the classes so reach out to them and see what they offer. I never took a class. I just scoured YouTube for tips and honestly that was better for me bc it’s free and I could do it on my own time

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