{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Getting feedback to \"smile more\" makes me want to throw my laptop thru a window&quit. Go ahead and tell me I'm overreacting or being a special snowflake but a guy would not 👏get👏that👏feedback.", "post_id": "5850a0ac3502dc00165afbf5", "reply_count": 131, "vote_count": 233, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting", "feed_type": "crowd" }
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Getting feedback to "smile more" makes me want to throw my laptop thru a window&quit. Go ahead and tell me I'm overreacting or being a special snowflake but a guy would not 👏get👏that👏feedback.

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Point is, see, she did all of these impressive things and a bunch of annoying men with nothing worthwhile to say decided to comment on whether she was smiling, regardless of whether someone should have a goofy grin when talking nat'l security. Sometimes it feels like code word for "you don't belong here." It is all total BS. Maybe it we did not have to swim through a moat of sexism to get through our daily lives, we's be smiling more

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Amazon review of Feminist Fight Club book. I have not read the book bc I don't know, I'm too busy fighting the patriarchy in my workplace. "This is a really amazing book. I am a man who has worked in the corporate world for a long time and--I have to be honest--I have been guilty of many of the subtly sexist behaviors that Bennett describes. But after reading Feminist Fight Club, I have been able to readily identify those moments and take action to avoid them--I can literally sit here at my desk and think of half a dozen examples of times when I was about to interrupt a woman in a meeting but held my tongue. The book has also made me a much better ally to my female colleagues, as many of the strategies it outlines (such as, for example, making sure women get the appropriate credit for their ideas/work product) can be implemented by men. In short, this book has profoundly changed my perspective and actions at work, and I have no doubt those changes are going to lead to better outcomes and better relationships for me as well as my female colleagues.

Oh, I almost forgot--the book is also incredibly well-written, insightful, hilarious, and fun to read. There's no doubt I will be going back to it time and time again in the future."

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Make sure you use your two middle fingers to prop up that pretty smile 👹

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I actually have gotten that feedback as a male.

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Got this feedback Years ago as the only female intern at all all male firm. Sucked a whole lot. Also get this feedback from men walking on the street regularly. Stop 👏🏼telling👏🏼women👏🏼what👏🏼to👏🏼do👏🏼with👏🏼our👏🏼bodies.

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Fuck that guy! That is not feedback that is being an asshole. My fucking client keeps saying that shit and poor baby I am going to fucking snap one of these days.

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Ma'am, I'm going to need you to calm down.

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Guy here, told I need to show a more positive attitude (another way of saying smile more)

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Maybe the feedback is coming from a good place, but as a female who has been told by complete strangers (usually aggressively by men who then call me a cunt when I don't respond) while walking down the street minding my own business or by completely plastered men throughout my 20s...it's hard to hear that without cringing and flashing back to every shit experience where this has happened

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Hahaha u and ur female privilege think it's different for us?? U guys jus take it so damn personally.

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Stop👏associating👏every👏hardship👏you👏face👏with👏your👏gender

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^from a female manager, not that it matters. Some people just want you to be happy and chipper, even when that's not you

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OP, I was told that I speak too loud and need to speak slower, that I am too aggressive. if I was a male, I would be revered for those traits. screw them.

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@A1 - being told to have a more a positive attitude is not the same as being told to smile more. An attitude is the combination of words and actions, which could actually need to be adjusted. Telling someone to smile more is only physical and has nothing to do with that person's attitude

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Ha yeah except the feedback was from the director lead on my project so fuck me basically

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Ok, just because guys have received the same feedback does not mean that it means the same thing when you receive it

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Agreed with OP. Anyone who talks about "female privilege" needs a serious wakeup call.

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Black guy here. I'm told to smile more all the time - and other statements that insinuate I'm being threatening or overly defensive. I get it @OP. Not sure why people get mad at those who are sharing their experiences and frustrations. I mean I get why but it's fragile AF. Shine on y'all.

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I'm a guy and have received that feedback.

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I'm a guy, and I get this feedback fairly regularly. I feel like this is less of a gender issue and more of an issue for us people that just don't smile as much in a client-facing business

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I FEEL YOU. I was the only girl in a meeting of 20 and my SM pinged and asked me to smile. Do you really think he'd do that to a guy? I feel like not.

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So if my manager gave me and OP a performance review and told us both to smile more, it would mean different things because of our gender? Regardless of the gender of said manager?

And I'm not arguing that women don't get his more often and that this disproportionality is rooted in sexism. But the statement, with no other context, is not inherently sexist

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