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After a client call, which I drafted the talking points for, the male partner on the deal and a male senior associate went to grab lunch. I was tasked with dropping off the partner’s notebook on his desk. It may be that he and the associate had preexisting plans, but I was the only woman in the room/on the call. I can’t help but feel he wouldn’t have asked a male associate to do that, and would have instead invited him. I regret not inviting myself….How should I have handled this?
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We did some financial trust exercises before we did this (after getting married)... we have our salaries deposited into a joint account. We have savings accounts, etc. BUT we both have our own private "allowance" accounts that money is automatically transferred to monthly. The amount was agreed upon early on. We have ZERO authority on what each other uses allowance money for. It's beautiful! Bills, savings, groceries, other living expenses get paid out of the joint account.
Me and my husband have the same system. Allowance money if for you to do whatever you want without questions. Mine is more than his although he makes more because my self care as a woman costs more than his! And he’s cool with this.
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We’re all in one pot and anything over $300 is discussed with the other person first. We do monthly budgeting check-ins every week or so and forecast out future months for non-standard expenses (ie gifts, travel, etc.). Here are our categories
Congrats on the wedding and Also planning moneytalk ahead. Few things to clarify. What vision does each of you have - merging finances or keeping it separate but have few shared accounts? I was surprised to learn my husband grew up assuming keeping finances separate, but we ended up merging. How are each of you spending money now and how much cash or debts are there? what is your and your couples short term financial priorities? I spent quite a lot on shopping but we decided to save for down-payment and had to adjust my habits. Once you align on priorities then you can start budgeting for each month. Also not a bad idea to see a financial planner to get set up and think long range as well.
Pro tip- keep an account or 2 yourself. That really helped me maintain my life in divorce.
This. Everyone should have an emergency fund in their name only.
We deposit all our funds into a joint account and divide up into buckets that are allocated based on our goals. We do an allowance system: we use our allowance to spend how we wish, surprise each other, birthday gifts, and Christmas gifts to each other. Plus we each get 10% of our bonus regardless of who earned it. Example of our categories. It helps to keep things simple - we are a team and operate as such. It helps that we don't have any debt besides our mortgage. It takes a lot of trust to have a joint account if one person has a lot of debt.