Gf of two years (26f + 29m) is getting very emotional that I’m not keen to buy a house together this early. She earns half of what I do and I feel she’s trying to accelerate buying a house together. I had initially explored the idea of buying together and we started looking at places but now she’s getting anxious and wants to put in offers after a few weekends of searching (edge of London). Thoughts?

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Two years is really soon to buy a house together. Some say that 2-3 years is the point where the honeymoon phase is over and you can really see the relationship for what it is. I don’t think you should risk buying a house together so soon.

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AV1 - oh she’s been jokingly asking for it since a year of being together. I have to keep asking myself is this normal behaviour

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Another story of: how to get marriage benefits without marriage.

First of all it’s your money, don’t let her emotional reactions push you to make decision you’re not comfortable with.

She’s your GF, not your wife. So the “Buy a house Together” goes out of the window for many reasons. First one being, she makes less than you and your finances are not One and together.

If you would not make her your wife then you should not get a house “together”, which would basically be you subsidizing her “wifey lifestyle” without the wife responsibilities.

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She’s just trying to invest in her future. You just gotta ask yourself if that investment is also in your interest.

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She’s not seeing this as a real estate, business and legal decision, she’s probably seeing this as a red flag that you are secretly not that into her. Assuming you do, reassure her how much you care about her. If you don’t, that’s a whole different discussion.

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If you don’t feel ready to buy a house together with her, that’s perfectly valid. Were you already planning to buy a house for yourself at this stage in your life or did she bring up the idea of buying together?

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OP, you need to have the tough questions about your relationship, what you want out of it, from her, and her from you.
Once you clear those out, then the specific material goods will be sorted out.

I just went through a similar situation but much shorter relationship, and a lot of things I was looking into a partner were not there for me.

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I’d not buy a house without a commitment. If you don’t feel the same then move on. Easier to break up in an apt/ lease versus house/ mortgage

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You guys are not married so your finances are not connected. What you could do is purchase a home without her name and have her contribute as a rent.

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It probably depend on the law in the UK. Most people are US on this app.

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I would first empathize with her situation and understand where that emotion is coming from. Her being emotional (which is normal) could be a result of her caring deeply about you and having a future with you in it. I would ask yourself if the reason you aren’t ready is financial or because you don’t see a future with her. Good luck either way!

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Buy it if you see it working out in the long term but each contribute half.

I would not buy a house together until you’re engaged. Have a real conversation about your long term future the kind of timing you want for milestones

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