Ghosted after 6 really good dates. Do you confront or let it go?

likehelpful
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Honestly - as a (respectful) counter to M1 I think you should confront. 6 dates is not an insignificant number. If you thought it was really going somewhere I’d follow up.

(Disclaimer: If you weren’t feeling it, I would let it go)

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I've had something somewhat similar happen to me. I was livid at first. I tried to figure out exactly where I went wrong or what did I do to make this person turn on me 180°. I decided to confront them, but he took hours if not a whole day to respond with only snippets of information. He had plenty of time to be active on social media and even viewing my stories on Instagram, but disabled when it came to responding to my messages like a grown adult. It was then that I realized that this person was taking pleasure in feeling superior by making me feel uneasy or crazy. I was being manipulated. I quickly snapped back to reality that this is probably not someone I want to end up with and I dodged a bullet bigtime! If someone is interested in you, you would never need to question it. Suffice it to say, several months later, he reaches out stating he wants to chat again and explained why he "ghosted" me. He preached on about him being a "work in progress". It's all bullshit. This person that ghosted you, either found someone else he's interested in or does not see a future with you and simply does not want to deal with the uncomfortable conversation to "let you go". Additionally, he is leaving an option to return at his convenience after a "difficult time" (so he will claim) to get back into your good grace. My advice — confront him, give your piece with the intent of running fast and far away from this person. Use the anger to get over him quickly and realize the awesome and worthy person you are, and the lucky man that will have you someday.

likeuplifting

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

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Let it go. There’s more where that came from...all you get from confronting him is boosting his ego and coming off like you have no prospects. He’s not involved in whatever you do to deal with this anymore.

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Have you heard of a sunk cost? This is one.

likefunny

I’m like this amazing combo of being sassy, vindictive and passive aggressive AF so I’d probably just send him like 100 ghost emojis and then delete his number. Don’t be like me!

likefunny

I like this answer. Send ghosts just one at a time until it’s so annoying he has to block you or respond

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I’d let it go rather than waste more time and energy on this person. What would you truly want to get out of the situation if you were to confront? The only reason I would imagine it to be helpful to confront would be to ask why you were ghosted...but you’re unlikely to get a response (hence, ghosted) and if you do, I would assume the answer would just be some variation of “not feeling the right fit/chemistry”. If you want to confront in order to get an apology or another date, then you are just giving the benefit of the doubt to someone who has already shown very little consideration and respect for you. Sorry about the bad luck and hope you find someone amazing down the line! 😉

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You’ve all truly been wonderfully helpful! Everyone’s words helped me figure out what was the best move for me. After the anger subsided a bit, I decided he wasn’t worth my effort to confront, unfollowed him on social media, and moving on.

If we’re being honest though part of me looks forward to the likely day when he reaches out from out of the blue so I can light his ass on fire... 😼

likeuplifting

I change their numbers to “.” 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

likefunny

You can try to confront them if it will help you move past it, but be prepared that they may not respond or leave you with any type of satisfactory explanation.

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How long has it been since your last date? How many times did you reach out before concluding you've been ghosted?

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Nah 6 dates is a lot. I would not let it go, I’m sorry

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Curious what you mean exactly. Are you saying OP should confront and force out an apology? Or confront and try to get another date? Both options seem to be low ROI in the grand scheme of things.

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Ok different opinion here: sometimes people are just SUPER busy. Yes it can happen: like imagine 70 hours work week with a death of a family member on top of sickness and moody period all at once kinda thing. I myself sometimes let it slip for 4-6 days because I have something else in my life going on, even when I really like that guy. But I’ll reach out back to him when I’m at a better place.

So I think you don’t have to let it go or confront him yet. Just give him time, like a week or 2 weeks. If he likes you, he will reach back out, 100%. If he doesn’t after 2 weeks, then you can decide at that time if you still want closure.

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I don’t know how I would word it but I wouldn’t let it go. I wouldn’t ask for a reason or an apology but let him know that after 6 dates you were surprised not to hear back. If he was a nice guy otherwise, wish him well and show him how to say goodbye gracefully.

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You're gonna have to be comfortable with never knowing. Because even if you did confront him, he'd give you the "I'm sorry," or "work has been so busy." Which provides zero clarity (unless you use it as a trigger to walk away). On the other hand, I think a simple "hello" via text is fine, see if he is interested in going out again if he responds. Because believe me you, he didn't forget about you. I really hope the 6th date wasn't the date you "put out" and he ghosted you immediately after, cause those men are scum bags. Unless he's dead? I watch too many murder shows...

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I guess I’m not even sure what I would want from the confrontation. I suppose some sort of explanation (I.e. excuse) since things genuinely seemed to be going well and he acted super into me... I could use the closure of not having to look at my phone anymore wondering if I should expect a text or anything, but I’m sure that’s something time could solve as well.

I really appreciate all the suggestions here ❤️ please keep any opinions coming! Truly at a loss

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the explanation or excuse is never going to be satisfactory. keep it moving 👊🏿

likesmart

Let it go. Maybe they had a few women in rotation (I know it sounds bad but they do it) and one just captured his heart a bit more.

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Confront, but don’t expect a response. Send something that gives yourself closure. What is there to lose? Shoot him a note will probably make yourself feel better, who cares if that boosts his ego

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I feel you boo *hugs*

You were on a good date based on your narration, but he didn't. What helps me let go is to know that I'm not a mind reader, nor should I expect others to be.

Let their actions speak/do the talking, don't bother asking why.

In the mean time quietly unfollow him in insta and show him you're living your best life. I got your back, girl.

likeuplifting

I’ve confronted men and you wanna know what they said most of the time? I’m seeing someone else usually the ex.

Sometimes it’s better not knowing.

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Understand what you’re looking for in confronting him. If it’s for your own closure, and you aren’t looking for a response from him, speak your truth and let him go. If you’re going to reach out because you hope for some type of response, then don’t bother - only setting yourself up for more pain.

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This. The only reason to confront is your own closure or curiosity at what he would say. All other reasons will not help you. (I would confront because that’s my nature but only because it would satisfy me to do it not because I expect a valid response)

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CONFRONT

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