Related Posts
New Joiner: what PPO plan to pick? Thank you!
Is now the time to cash out from Tesla?
Conversation Starter
More Posts
Visual Storyteller
Rolex is the only guy taking notes lol
Additional Posts in Confession
Rising Star
Conversation Starter
Name the movie that changed your life!
Enthusiast
Pro
Man wheeler and Valdez rn 🥶🥶🥶. Go Phils!
Rising Star
Rising Star
Enthusiast
You are the real MVP
You are a good son/daughter. I know they are very proud of you and your success in this country.
Enthusiast
I send my mom $500 a month too. She lives in a different country and that translates to a fair amount of money in her currency. She/we grew up poor. In the first few years of me sending her the money she went a bit crazy with her new found wealth, started splurging on frivolous stuff. It bothered me but then I realized that this is what happens when you have had very little all your life and then suddenly get more without having earned it yourself. I worked with her to set up a savings account, showed her how to live well without spending like crazy and after a few years of working through it (and her realizing the money isn’t going to stop coming from me) she’s become much better.
I hear you OP and I know how hard it is to give no strings attached money but you have to let some things go!
Love that
Thanks! You’re missing the second msg :( I wasn’t trying to brag, I feel bad for wanting to tell my dad what he should spend the money on. The money that I gifted to him and is fully his :(
but who spends 300 bucks a month on online games 🤯
Enthusiast
yeah i mean, you can at least make money gambling…unless you’re youtubing your plays like COD😂
At least he is home playing video games and not out buying shots for strangers at a bar.
Rising Star
Those online games are a bad addiction and are there to take advantage of the player. I know they are not in the US, but every place *should* have consumer protection laws to stop it.
Ok, now for the constructive part. Do some reading on positive behavior modification, nudge theory and incentives. Restructure how you provide your financial assistance to try and steer your father to something less expensive, more fulfilling etc. Look up chicken therapy and cat therapy.
The online gaming is indicative of a problem. There are worse vices for sure, but you are not wrong to look at this as enabling self destructive behavior.
Enthusiast
I help my parents with two things - their electric bill and their fuel.
I pay the electricity company directly and I pay the bill for the year. I send a gas card each month - specifically for the gas station that my parents patronize.
This keeps things clear. I am ok with helping support living expenses but not discretionary things.
… they want and I feel like an asshole because I am bothered when my dad spends $300 a month on online video games rather than go for a weekend trip or do something else together with my mom. 😞 my mom is buying tools with it and she is making super cool stuff out of wood as a hobby which I love soooo much ❤️ am I a bad person? ☹️ so what if he spends it on games…
Money is fungible. Won’t matter if he pays the bills directly or just gives them cash.
Pro
Plenty of people do. It’s really easy to get to that if you have no other hobbies.
Or, he has a gambling problem that shows itself through loot boxes.
If he is mentally fit and doesn’t have any other issues I don’t think you can really tell him what to do with the money you gifted him.
That said, I give money to my mother every month or pay directly for things at her instruction. My dad spends freely and at this point there’s no changing him. Gotta work with the cards you were dealt.
I think it’s fair to encourage him to do something more productive with it but depending on age/location…he might just be happiest playing games. I do feel $300 a month is excessive and likely needs to be checked. I feel like $50 a month would be fair…don’t understand the need for skins etc
I send $3000 per month to my mom. It’s her money, she can do whatever she wants with it.
Chief
Eh, it’s frivolous, but so are most hobbies. It might mean more to him than it would to you— like maybe he feels a rush of freedom at being able to get whatever he wants in this small corner of the world.