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Rising Star
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Additional Posts in 30s & 40s Singles
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anyone in Denver?
30M, 5'8, Dog Dad, seeking F
Anybody awake and want to chat? 35M here!
🙋🏾♀️Um. I give up.💁🏾♀️
I think there isn't anything wrong with wanting your partner to be financially stable, as long as you are as well. Expecting someone to pay your way without contributing at all is unattractive to me in anyone.
Actual amount doesn’t matter as long as they are living within their means. I don’t need someone to support me and I don’t want to have to support them (obviously life happens and if way down the road things happen to cause one of us to need support from the other, that’s different). No crazy debt. Good credit score also goes a long way.
I also never expect a guy to pay my way on everything. Happy to split bills or take turns paying. I don’t date for free stuff.
Caveat to this is if one person makes an extreme amount more than the other and they want their partner to do things they would otherwise not be able to afford then the better off person should pay or be okay doing the thing alone.
Enthusiast
Financial deal breakers would be someone with a gambling habit /hobby or other that relied on money and someone who had a “job” vs a career.
Rising Star
F. I 💯 expect a guy to pay for dates. I’ll spoil my guy in other ways, such as cook for him, buy him something even without him telling me anything, etc etc. Otherwise, what’s the point of dating/relationship?
I think its healthy for both people to contribute financially and be able to support themselves. It reduces or eliminates what could otherwise be a major imbalance and point of underlying tension.
Of course there will be exceptions.
But for me, never again will I be with someone who looks to me for their sole financial security. It creates an unhealthy dynamic in the relationship imo.
F here, I feel like I’m heading to level where I’m fine financially. I think for me it’s important to know I could potentially rely on my potential SO.
If you want to start a family and as a woman you are the one that earn the most, depending on how much your partner earn you might have hard time.. it’s important to think of aspect where the income will really be essential and I think a lot of women think about that.
This definitely changes culture by culture too. My family is from India and I am 100% expected to pay for everything from day dot. In fact my family and any future wife's family would probably encourage her not to work. Obviously not speaking for all Indian families but this is normal for me. Thankfully I've actually been meeting some pretty modern women who want to keep a job and maintain a career after marriage.
My family (read, my mother) is slowly warming up to the idea. I'm getting them on the "well she wants to take care of her family too" train and I feel like it's working bit by bit.
Community Builder
Having large sums of money is less important than someone is who financially responsible.
Red Flags 🚩:
- Large amounts of debt (possible exception for student loans)
- Gambling/Shopping addiction
- Overly materialistic
- Living beyond their means
- Expectations that the partner pay for everything, regardless of any salary discrepancy
I made like 6x more than one of my exes and it always meant a lot to me when she paid for a meal or picked up the coffee tab.
F here. I am comfortable on my salary. I have found that if there is too much of a gap, it creates problems. I’m fine planning a trip on his budget, but if I want to splurge and pay the difference, he needs to be ok with me paying for it. I work hard for what I earn and I want to be able to maintain that style of living.
F attorney here. It’s not a factor so long as there are no red flags around money. I make enough that I am open to a non-working spouse that contributes in other ways.
Unattractive when someone never offers to pay their way
I'm fine as long as the other person is financially independent. I won't impose or force him/her to earn a certain amount of money. I don't want that either. Lol