{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Got a good offer in SF but my wife wants to stay at here at NYC for 2 more years. No kids yet. Any advice on coast to coast relationship?", "post_id": "5c82e2e233d3b1002187431a", "reply_count": 8, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting", "feed_type": "crowd" }
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Got a good offer in SF but my wife wants to stay at here at NYC for 2 more years. No kids yet. Any advice on coast to coast relationship?

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Have a girlfriend and we were long distance for awhile. I highly recommend against it. Another job will be there for you two years from now. Not worth risking anything with your wife

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1. Why does your wife want to stay for 2 more years (pretty specific)
2. Is she on board with you taking the offer?

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Did this for about a year. Was tough but it gets your focus on things like yourself, your health and definitely on your career. Not demoting a relationship here, NO SIR! Just trying to say that its an interesting phase and a challenging experience which both of you should discuss at length and agree upon. Also, mass flight bookings in advance helps for sure. My wife n I used to fly to each other's locations on alternate weekends (sometimes had to cancel but flew A LOT of red-eyes! Lol). Its all about relationship dynamics and pure resilience. If the offer is completely worth it and the associated efforts are something you think u can live through together, then definitely go for it. Also recommend spending weekends mid-way at different locations each time (whenever possible) , this way you could visit more places and do fun things which you otherwise may not carve out time for ;)

Hope this was helpful !

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I think not much will change as I travel M-Th anyway and we plan to move to west ultimately. But want some thoughts from experts.

Attended a BSchool in the NE and knew many Californians who did this (spouse stayed at job out west). Rough with such frequent travel but definitely doable!

It’s do-able as long as you can agree up-front on how you’ll manage the distance. Weekends out West, weekends back east, weekends in the middle, and weekend trips to other places can be tons of fun and be great for a relationship if you both enjoy traveling and have realistic expectations. And if the plan is for her to fully relocate to the West Coast, then you need to make sure there’s a plan in place for that to happen - is she going to quit her current job and look for a new one before moving, look for transfer or remote- working opportunities w/current company, quit w/o a job & move West before she looks, etc.? As long as you’re both honest about the plan, it can work.

Hubby and I did it for 2.5 years while youngest finished high school. We talked every night at 9pm, and he came home once a quarter. Wasn’t easy but we survived Ironically after all that, the PE group sold the company and he lost his job before I made the move. I echo having a plan in place. Mine was to get out of industry and back into consulting. So even though I never made the physical move, I did make the career change.

Once a QUARTER...bruh

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