Got an offer for my dream job making $170k. I currently make $80k and am not happy. The problem is the job is 800 miles away in a state we moved away from 5 years ago. We moved to where we are now to be close to family. I don’t want to leave family, but I know they would come visit a lot. I feel like turning down that kind of salary for a dream job is crazy. Hubby has a job opportunity in the new state as well, he just is adamant he doesn’t want to leave family. What would you do?

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You can move, make that money, then move back at some point! Nothing is permanent:)

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I think more information is needed. Are you going from a LCOL to a HCOL that explains this large increase in salary? Do you own a house? Will the new company provide you a decent relo package? Do you have kids?

Depending in the answers, I would stay close to family.

Depending on the answers (no kids, no house, cost of living being the same), I would take the job to gain that experience. if things do not go that great, come up with a plan to move back in 2-3 years. By doing this, you would put you career in the path you want now.

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SM1 has the right thought process. Lot's of factors to consider. I'm in my "dream job" and it's not the actual work or pay that makes it my dream job but the work life balance, teleworking (even post covid), location and opportunity to work a 4 day condensed work week (gov't job).

It's risky uprooting your life for a job as employers can be fickle (as we've seen during the mass covid layoffs last year). If your husband is unwilling to move then it sounds like there are more intangible benefits of staying to think about.

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I’d move, that’s just me personally. But I don’t really like my family 😂

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If you are not taking it, i will take it, work there for few years and move back

How does one go from 80 to 170? What am I doing wrong?

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And how are your bags not already packed? My Dad made the mistake of staying close to home for family and has regretted it ever since

I was in the same position as you about 6 months ago. I decided to not take the opportunity. Now I regret that decision a lot. You can always come back. But dream jobs are rare to find.

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Disagree. If family was really important you don’t interview 800 miles away to begin with. Sounds like the spouse doesn’t want to leave but OP didn’t care and is why they interviewed.

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Making sacrifices for family rarely works out. Most people regret the sacrifice eventually

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TM2, I think that when you sacrifice for a spouse you just both have to acknowledge and act on a see-saw or monkey bar philosophy - one of you is the back hand (mb) or down end (ss) while the other is getting ahead in their desired area. But after they’re secured you’ll switch - just can’t let one person be “up”/front hand over and over.

Why not take it for a couple of years and agree to also visit family in your current state in addition to your family visiting at your new state. You’re more than doubling your salary so I’m sure the additional income will help and you’ll gain the experience with your new job and you can always move back. However, I always believe you can have both or something close. Can you find this “dream” job in your current state at less money? What makes this a dream job? I find it hard to believe there is not more than one “dream” job but that’s just my opinion.

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Dream jobs are just that a dream. They rarely materialize the way you think they will. 100% stay close to family and find a better job near them.

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It’s your dream job. Take it. 😀

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Do what’s best for the kids

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Is in person required or can you perform the job remotely and travel with a certain level of frequency to the location?

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Move. You can always move back if you hate it.

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Why did you apply for the job if you didn’t want to move? I assume you knew the location before applying, so deep down there’s a part of you willing to move for a certain $ amount and the right dream job. What’s really making you hesitate? You can always visit family, call/FaceTime, or move back after a 2-3 years. Heck a lot of jobs are still somewhat remote now, so you could take the job and work remotely until it’s absolutely a requirement to work from the office. And even then lots of companies would be willing to like you be 100% remote after you’ve worked with them for a few years and decide you want to move back to your hometown. 800 miles is probably an hour and half flight or maybe 13 hour drive?

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I assume the spouse is giving guilt for leaving. You hit it on the head - if family was really important you don’t interview at a job 800 miles away. You don’t need to see them every day or week and it is easy and more than double salary to visit often as you wish.

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Are you moving into a HCOL? 170k isnt a lot in SF, LA or NYC and you'll see lowered standard of living.

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Take the job and work from home 😎… if they allow that. If not I’d still take the new job and move

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If family is important I’d turn down the offer. I’ve learnt to just be patient and eventually you’ll get your dream job where you are now.

170k in NYC is not 170k in Idaho. Details are necessary to understand if the salary increase would be worth breaking up my family.

Do you live to work or work to live? If you live to work then go. If not, find something comparable in pay nearby. Careers are great but as you progress you’ll realize what is the point if you can’t share it with your family. Good luck.

You are not going to be there permanently, isn't it
If so then you have to think of all your points, else it's jus 800miles, go there start working over theRe !

Which one are you going to regret more? Not taking the job or not having them time with family? I would boil it down to that decision.

I would stay. Family first. Never regretted it.

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