Got passed up for a promotion and been emotional and frustrated. I'm trying very hard to not let it impact my work by my direct supervisor likely notices that I'm down and I've haven't been able to hide my feelings very well. It's all amplified by the pandemic struggles. I feel bad for being like this, it's been a few weeks and struggling to turn it around, and I know my supervisor shouldn't have to deal with this. Should I talk to them and apologize?

likehelpful
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Simping for promotions are for chumps. Get a better offer elsewhere that is the easier way

likeuplifting

Channel that energy into having a constructive conversation about why you didn't get the promo and to identify what you should do differently for next time. Ask if there's an out of cycle promotion opportunity you could go for. Ask for coaching to get you ready for the next round.

likeuplifting

Fussing about it will only make them consider not promoting again. Shake it off and bounce back

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Agreed. Start looking elsewhere

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It’s never easy to be turned down but sulking for a few weeks will only hurt you and likely your work performance.

Rejection is hard but the comeback will make you stronger (if this is where you want to be). Keep your head up!

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I would agree with the others telling you to jump ship. They like you on their team and in the role you are in but they don’t see you as a future leader in the firm. My guess is if you really are honest with yourself you would find that your personal goals don’t exactly line up with the firm’s culture. Look for somewhere your strengths and talents can shine and be appreciated.

And in response to your original questions - don’t apologize, let it go, move on but there is no need to apologize.

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OP, for how many cycles/years has your company been dangling a promotion under your nose? Honestly, if they keep dangling it but never deliver, you are conditioning them to keep on underdelivering. If you believe your work made enough of a difference to merit a promotion, then find another offer and move on. Don’t bother showing the offer to your current employer and trying to extract a promotion from them. Just leave. You deserve better, but only you can put a number on the value that you bring to your team, not us and not necessarily your current employer.

My employer offered me everything I wanted including the promise of a promotion in three months, for as long as they needed me on a critical project. As soon as they saw the project was 90% of the way there, their tune changed to “next cycle” without so much of a mention of their promise, just a half-baked, “we were trying to get something done but couldn’t”. What is most ironic is that I had actually asked for a promotion in a year’s time and had asked them for support to build up to it, and they got my hopes up and got me to work my butt off just by saying they would get me promoted in 3 months.

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4 cycles ? Ouch. I’m sorry OP.

It’s unsettling when goalposts keep shifting. You roll with it or risk being labeled “inflexible”, or “out for yourself”, as if that’s a bad thing - the balance of power is not in the employee’s favour. Of course your goals have to be aligned with team goals but no one will make sure you get what you deserve. You have to get it yourself.

I took a few days to emotionally reset myself and accept what was happening. I worked out extra hard those days as exercise helps me deal with stress. I went about giving my work 100%, as that is what I am paid for and my professional reputation will precede me wherever I go. Then I started interviewing, hard. Hoping to close on an offer in the next week.

Welcome to trying to go for promotion in the corporate world and being turned down. Happens to all of us.

Is my reaction immature? I'm just really struggling and I know I shouldn't take it personally. I'm trying to not let it show but, I can't really take time off right now and have to just get through it, so I'm not the most cheery person.

I think immature is unfair to you. I would say you would benefit from more perspective and a healthier resolution that path.

this happens all the time in consulting. Big 4 create an annual promotion cycle to inhibit promotions, and make soft assurances that if you just keep pushing you will get there. Either make peace with this or apply externally.

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I am sorry that sucks for you right now. But being stuck in resentment mode won't help you. Accept that this is what happened and plan how you strenghten your position for next time you try, provided you are still interested.
I agree with other posters that you should ask for feedback and ask for mentoring if your organisation offers that.
Also, have you had a good rant with someone outside work, though? If you still haven't said what's on your mind it will keep you stuck.

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