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Make $120k Accenture now doing tech implementations, just got offer 200k TC EY business consulting. I love my job, have a great WLB (working 20 hours per week, no travel, clear path to M in about 1.5 years) - am I an idiot for even contemplating staying? What I would be doing is more PPT/functional vs Onestream/technical which I do now.
Would love to hear about your gardening leave experience, especially in the event production sector, i.e. Gartner, Forrester, etc. I’m planning my resignation and I’m unsure if I should plan my next endeavor around it. I plan to continue my career in event production but as an in-house producer for a solution provider, any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Tonight's pour. Cheers everyone 🥃
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Gross pay: $xx,xxx 😏
Net pay: $xxx 🤨
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Rising Star
There's a nice Tshirt in my local shop that says 'Need You Tonight' on it.
It's only available INXS and since Lockdown i'm a size XL at best.
Every time I tell dad jokes, he laughs
Rising Star
Glad he appreciates them 😆
Chief
Just spent $100 on a belt that doesn’t fit.
Huge waist!
Chief
I did too LOL
Rising Star
What makes a joke a dad joke?
It’s apparent!
Rising Star
Haha! Good one! Thank you for sharing
Chief
Unfortunately I haven’t heard any good jokes lately. But did you hear about the kidnapping?
He woke up. *buh dum, tssss*
Rising Star
This is great!!
Guys who memorize dad jokes are lame. Dad jokes should be part of someone’s personality by default, not forced.
Conversation Starter
You got kids A1? You will know they don’t care where the jokes came from as long as they share a laugh with Dad.
Pro
How do you follow will smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints
Rising Star
Clever! I wonder if the show will resonate with the next generation
I got to do some traveling recently and apparently a blueberry pie costs $5.75 in the Bahamas, whereas that same pie costs $6.50 in Jamaica. Pumpkin pies are the same everywhere but most expensive in the Grand Caymans. So, now you know the pie-rates of the Caribbean….
Rising Star
Jack Sparrow approves.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
Related: What do you call it when you can't go to the steakhouse?
A big missed steak.
What sport was Jesus good at?
Lacrosse
I've always heard this as "Cross Training" which is both funnier and darker.
And yes, my devout Baptist family loves that joke
Chief
Yesterday I shot an elephant in my pajamas.
How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
Rising Star
Mystery of the century 😆
Conversation Starter
Saw this on Twitter:
Rising Star
Off the top of my head I can't think of any of the impromptu dad jokes I've told over the years (I'm BIG on the off the cuff dad jokes, much to my kids' and wife's chagrin), but going off on a tangent, my favorite ongoing dad joke from when I was a kid was how my dad had himself and us kids answer the phone when we were growing up:
"Stone's Mortuary, you stab 'em, we slab 'em. How may I direct your call?"
Conversation Starter
Too funny.
A Dung Beetle walks into a bar and says "Excuse me, but is this stool taken?"
How did the butcher introduce his wife?
“Meet Patty.”
Why don't dinosaurs make good pets?
Because they're extinct.
Rising Star
😭😭 oh dear
Pro
Did you hear about the kidnapping?!
Pro
Oh never mind, he just woke up…
No wonder batteries always die. It’s gotta hurt to never be included.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They’re huge metal fans.