{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Had a case team meeting and a partner asked a question and I thought it was a good question so i said “that’s actually a valid question” and answered/responded then i got feedback saying that was", "post_id": "5e7b950eb08233002167cd1b", "reply_count": 9, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting", "feed_type": "bowl" }

Had a case team meeting and a partner asked a question and I thought it was a good question so i said “that’s actually a valid question” and answered/responded then i got feedback saying that was

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I think you should observe how other people on your team interact and try to adopt a few of their mannerisms. I understand why your comment wasn’t well received- saying it’s “actually” a “valid” question makes it sound like you’re surprised the partner brought up a good point, and that’s not the impression you want to give off (even if it’s true). Sometimes it’s best to say nothing than say the wrong thing, so maybe just refrain from making comments that don’t add value (I don’t mean this in a bad way- I’m sure you meant well but I also want to give direct feedback). If you want to speak up to show engagement with the conversation, try using this phrase instead, “Hmm, I had not thought about that. Definitely something we should look into.” Then maybe offer to help find the answer if possible.

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Offensive/ condescending.. i use actually just like a habit (southeast asian language habit) and i never thought it would sound so offensive? All i meant to say was “it is a valid concern/question”. Also partners just ask questions without understanding things properly and when i try to answer, i get feedback saying i need to do more listening and not sound defensive. Tips on how to do that well? Also hard when not in person and meetings are always rushed because there is so much content and not enough time - partners dropping in and out of calls earlier than time- and manager not good at managing workload .. was working till 2am for this 9am ..

Waiting to hear feedback!

Ahh yeah, so that is definitely a bit rude, my friend. I would say just work on not saying anything about the question at all (especially if time is an issue - no need to say anything from thanks for asking, or good question) and just answer the question. 🤷🏽‍♀️ hope that helps

Ok thanks guys. Lol ESL.. also just english use/ pc-ness different across different english speaking countries (most of my work was in malaysia/singapore before)

likesmart

Hmmmm here is the thing. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Similarly to above if you think of the words you are using in consulting no matter the language. Think about what the word "actually" means. Writing and talking are different. When you write you want to be as descriptive as possible to paint a picture, so you might use words for fluff and still try to be precise at the same time. When you speak, tone and body gesture carries 90% of the story. So you want to be more precise with your words. A word like actually naturally causes unnecessary emphasis and can easily be perceived in the wrong way. Try to cut out these types of adverbs and adjectives and still get your point across and you'll be fine.

A thank you is usually sufficient and a good way to continue your point.

Wow....Do Partners have such a fragile ego to nit pick on semantics. Agree we all can improve. IMO if the partner knows and understands you, the background, your work, etc. and you had valid inputs nothing else should matter much 🤷🏻‍♀️

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