{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "had a miscarriage (knew the gender and developed a connection) and trying to pull it together for my toddler. will start therapy but feeling so unstable. any tips to survive this? husband knows i’m sad but not as supportive as I want him to be.", "post_id": "6167a4ebe647ec002ced6ceb", "reply_count": 8, "vote_count": 4, "bowl_id": "5a0c9a1f61b01a001937c406", "bowl_name": "Working Moms" }

had a miscarriage (knew the gender and developed a connection) and trying to pull it together for my toddler. will start therapy but feeling so unstable. any tips to survive this? husband knows i’m sad but not as supportive as I want him to be.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

I lost my two boys (separately.). It’s hard to understand that your connection to your baby was different than anyone else, so they won’t feel it the way you do more than likely. Give yourself time and space. Don’t rush or push anything. Your toddler can know you are sad but they will learn from your age appropriate honesty in how your work through it. Tell your husband what you need. After we named the babies, my ex husband could have cared less. I wish I had insisted on more from him.

likehelpful

I think you should move forward with the therapy and not look for him to give you what it is that you need right now because he can’t. He’s emotionally taking care of it the way he knows how and that may be to disconnect. Be OK knowing that you’re not OK and be open to grieving ,and get therapy where spilling guts and expressing yourself  is welcomeThe longer you wait the more depressed it makes you and we have to allow healing in

like

I ended up telling my manager because I needed a bit of leeway for a few months. I only took enough pto for the physical healing and definitely not enough time for the emotional healing. Everyone’s grief comes differently. Do what it is that you need. I ended up reconnecting with girlfriends and being really open about my miscarriage with anyone who would listen. Felt like an acknowledgment of a baby that was. Plus I was on a crusade to let other wannabe moms know that miscarriages happen. It was tough on my husband who wanted to grieve privately but he let me do what I needed. We didn’t talk about this until months later when I learned how heartbroken he was. I couldn’t see his pain when I was in the depths of my own grieving. Give yourself time and space. Acknowledge the pain and do what you need to do. Try to do the same for your husband but if you need to, prioritize you (imo). You know, put your own air mask on first.

likeuplifting

I’m so sorry for your loss! I had two miscarriages before finally having a live birth and I got really depressed and was not ok for quite a while. I had no idea how to deal with it or realize that it’s ok to be sad and that it is very much a loss of a child that you didn’t even get a chance to meet.

likehelpful

I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t have any advice but there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. Sending lots of support to take care of yourself during this difficult season of your life ❤️

like

Maybe take time off to cope? 💕

like

thank you all for your supportive words. means so much.

Feel for you -- had two myself but luckily had a beautiful baby girl in the middle. It was rough. I hated the people telling me how common it was and how they had one too, as if somehow it made it better because they had one too. I hated hearing statistics as if I could somehow let go of the grief because of some %'s. I just remember the tears and the sadness. My husband definitely felt bad - but not to the same extent -- I mean how could he. I know one thing that helped me was to write a letter and let them know how much I loved them. Poured my heart out to them on paper. I cannot remember all the things I wrote, I just remember how it started...Somehow it helped. To this day, I treasure those notes. I feel sad still but somehow the notes prove to me they were real, they were here and they were loved. I hope you find your Peace in knowing your baby was loved.

Related Posts

Hello London folk. There’s a lot of great chat about diversity in adland on fishbowl, but it’s all very US based. So I’ve just started a bowl on diversity in London specifically - 9qo8f

like

Working with the head of diversity for a tech startup that just went public at 4.5 billion. Looking to fill these leader roles with black and Diverse talent. Anyone interested in the roles below. DM me glad to share a job description.

like

Diversity in advertising is great, however I think it should also include diversity in opinion/political views. Anyone agree/disagree?

likehelpful

Favorite gender neutral secret santa gifts under 25. Go!

like

We are having our 1st “Share the Mic” discussing: Diversity in the Workplace. Weds 12.16@12PM EST. Details: While it is widely known that sexism and racism are prevalent in the corporate sector, how has that affected you? Are you aware only thirty-two white women, three black men, one Latinx woman, and zero black women head Fortune 500 companies? Did you also know some people might be surprised to learn that discrimination is also rampant in philanthropic and non profit institutions?

Post Photo
like

Parents are deciding between moving to WVirginia vs Virginia for retirement to be closer to us based in fairfax, va(ideally be at 1 hour driving distance). They currently in the mid west but WVirginia appeals to them because of low taxes, low cost of living. We are also poc so appreciate some diversity. What are some areas you would recommend both in Va and WV? What else should they consider prior to house hunting? Dad likes to garden/farm as well so looking for homes with large backyards. Tia!

like

Everyone: We asked for diversity and visible minorities in this video. This edit shows 90% whites dudes... The producer: The guy in the first shot is latino and there’s also an Irishman and an Australian bro at the end 😑

likefunnysmarthelpful

Anyone a black inclusion network lead for D&I?

like

Celebrating diversity by listing success stories doesn’t seem diverse when your examples read: WHITE WOMAN WHITE WOMAN WHITE WOMAN WHITE WOMAN 2 WHITE WOMEN WHITE WOMAN WHITE WOMAN WHITE WOMAN

like

Why is it diversity in the workplace for women is a recognized problem firms are trying to solve but diversity for underrepresented minorities isn't viewed as an equal priority?

like

Holy crap, is it common in professional services to openly refer to people as "diversity hires"? I mean I went to the same top 20 b school, paid the same $120k, got the same 650+ gmat.

like

If diversity is on the upsurge in STEM how come 0% of my 10 projects so far have featured girls in STEM roles? Some projects haven’t had other girls on the teams at all.

like

Are Inclusion & Diversity Initiatives Effective? What tactics actually create a more inclusive workforce?

like

Do you show your human side at work? Also share your gender if you’re comfortable. I’m F and I generally do, but wondering if this is not perceived well. For example, sometimes I talk to my peers about my weekend plans, sometimes about how tired I am because of work, I recently had surgery and shared with them details about it.

like

If we didn’t have Trump in the oval office, would we be having conversations about diversity and inclusion on a National level? 🤔

likesmart

Ladies - how do you feel about being more senior rank and making more money than your husband? (We’re the same age, I just happened to be promoted faster due to all the women diversity happening).

like

New York. All talk and no action here when it comes to actual inclusion and not cosmetic efforts.

like

Thoughts?

Post Photo
funnylike

I secretly resent my colleagues who are women and underrepresented minorities for getting extra coaching/advancement opportunities to make our diversity numbers look better.

Additional Posts

#deltasucks. Bf &I planned to meet in NOLA. I go from NYC with AA and he from SLC with Delta. D emailed this morning that flight will depart 2.5hrs later with no reason. Call wait time is +2 hrs -WTH

like

Has anyone at Deloitte maxed out their H1B while waiting for perm approval? Does Deloitte put you on a LOA and change you to a B1/ B2 visa?

like

Anyone had a interview for Devops role at delloite usi? Can you pls share your interview experience. I have an upcoming interview, it will be helpful. Thanks!

like

I am one of the operation manager in Amazon, hiring for German and French skills with 0 - 5 years of experience. Certificate - B2 and above. I have other opportunities with in my team as well. Connect with me for any further clarification or help!

like

After 13yrs finally received my Green card in mail today. Feelings indescribable..

like

NY biglaw … bad idea to take vacation to close to another vacation?

like

Hello London folk. There’s a lot of great chat about diversity in adland on fishbowl, but it’s all very US based. So I’ve just started a bowl on diversity in London specifically - 9qo8f

like

I am a new joiner ( 3 months ).The project in which I work it's insurance project complex one with lots functional things specific to the application and insurance domain. I want to communicate my issues to my manager in standup call without sounding like I am complaining about someone or being rude. Pls help don't know what to do 🙏😖

Post Photo
like

I have recently started feeling completely apathetic about this job. I have 0 stress cause I don't care. The 0 stress has led to good project experiences, but I have no will to work. Contd..

like

Hi Fishes - question on air travel requirements. My relative is flying to US from another country and from there we are collectively flying domestically within US. So we need a negative covid test for domestic flights?

like

Honest question here-hw do I work better with Indians who come over frm India(on-site) to client?My patience with them is at an all time low since they jst dnt gt the methodology & hate owning anythng

Does anyone working in "EPAM Anywhere" around a year suggest , how long does it take to get another project. I am just worried because of 50k cap which they will only provide if we are on bench ie no project assigned. Pls suggest.

like

Serious question: As a Registered Nurse with 11 years sales experience, why am I constantly turned down for healthcare-related sales roles? Yet on the flip side, I've gotten tons of offers in industrial or engineering spaces. I've worked PRN as a nurse while I've been in sales. All of my sales roles were engineering-based in mechanical tools or chemicals. I've sold into various industries (energy, O&G, aerospace, pharma, HI&I, water treatment, etc). Just looking to get back to my roots.

What’s your 1-firm’s match % and vesting schedule? 2-Maternity leave, short-term disability benefit - Time given, % of continued compensation, years needed to receive benefit? I’ll start -

like

Faang PGM role or M at B4 (digital)? Both salaries are around 200k TC. One concern is being pigeonholed by going the Program Management route, not sure which has the better trajectory/ career path.

like

I just started at a new firm 3 months ago. A big jump for me with 1,800 billable hours. I feel like I’m drowning trying to make the hours :( I am exhausted at the end of every day. Does it get easier?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal