Had female lead say I’m “too direct” and can have a “tone” that can be off putting. Needs more “leadership presence.” when pressing for specifics - none could be shared other than some people (clients) might (at some pt) not like it. I believe it’s gender biased to give such broad personality feedback (Google the studies) when they said flat out my performance is top notch. Is this something anyone has experienced? They said I’m not a bully or unprofessional/too casual so it’s odd to me.

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Having a pleasant personality and being easy to work with is part of the job. Prickly people, no matter how good their work is, will hurt morale on the team and turn off clients. You don’t need to be a peppy cheerleader but need a baseline calm and positive demeanor to move up

likesmart

I should also add I’m female as well - and this was basically why I wasn’t promoted. They didn’t have any qualms with my work and said so it’s “how” I work they felt was a problem. I’m not a fake, bubbly person and never will be. I can add some thank yous and niceties to my emails/chats but I can’t pretend to be upbeat all the time I’m swamped and overworked and just want to get things done and move on. Should I go in house? May be agency is too focused on that sales vibe…

likehelpful

I’ve been in-house, clients care about results and you knowing their business and their industry and providing good counsel. Clients want you to be professional, pleasant and easy to work with, being “bubbly” is an antiquated notion of PR akin to us being “people person”. Clients are paying us for our business acumen not to hang out. Also your boss should be able to give you actual examples of any issues they have instead of you guessing what you’re doing wrong and should be coaching you to get to the next level. It’s part of their job.

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Once you get into a senior leadership role at an agency your job is to maintain and expand client relationships and identify and win new business. Doing both of these things well requires a putting on a personality that is likeablebe and trustworthy.

In other words, as you rise the ranks it matter less and less if you can do the work, and more and more that the client likes you and wants to schmooze with you.

likesmart

As they said it’s about sales at an agency. Being neutral isn’t enough you have to be bubbly and kiss up to people within your agency above you - even if they’re less capable or overly emotional, or poor leaders themselves. Ultimately people just want to be gassed up and don’t care as much about the work itself. Someone doing A work will always be rewarded less than a B work person who just yes to everything and looks and sounds happy.

Personality is a part of the game the more senior you become. If you’re a Director on your way to VP, your “work” is no longer on the actual end product and it’s about how well you can win clients and partners over. Less often are people with harsh personalities able to do this well. But, that said, you don’t need to do a full personality overhaul, just be mindful of this when communicating with clients. Show you can win over a room and turn on when you need to. I’m not a bubbly extrovert by nature (more of a quiet introvert) but put me in a high stakes room with money to found on the table and I know how to impress, befriend, and get the yes I’m after.

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Sounds like they just want you to be the friendly face of the agency. If you can do that, you’ll probably go far. Just fake it, so many colleagues put on the fun and friendly face with the clients and are absolutely horrible with their colleagues. But these are the ones who get promoted - they know how to ‘play the game’. 🤷‍♀️

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I recently received similar feedback that I’m not bubbly enough. It came a few years after being told I’m perceived as crazy and too emotional (for raising an issue multiple times in a calm voice, and confiding in my manager about a hostile employee who was making my day to day miserable). Naturally I’d adjusted my tone and willingness to discuss my feelings about things at work after the first bit of feedback, and correcting to always be extremely rational and practical in my recommendations or questions. You can’t win ‘em all. I’ll just keep getting my work done well and for some reason my clients haven’t fired us yet despite my lack of bubbles! I don’t think I’ll try as hard to correct this time since I find “not bubbly” less insulting than “crazy” 😂 some perspective: the person who called me “too emotional” had a screaming breakdown in the office a couple days later when they couldn’t figure out something to do with a press release and their junior team was all on PTO or sick. Sometimes it’s likely projection 😅

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