Had my first “freakout” today - didn’t cry or anything like that. Just word vomited all of the work-related reasons why I was stressed to the partner I work with. See below for questions

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Bro/girl bro - if you’re having a melt down, you must really care about the firm, your clients and your work product. 100% I’m sure the partner appreciates that over some lazy ass who doesn’t give a f***

likeuplifting

Folks, we are all human. I suppose there are some exceptions who judge people harshly based on their worst moments, but most of us don’t. Just as I would like my colleagues to forgive my occasional intemperance, impatience, dismissiveness, etc. I for sure forgive associates who melt down because they are trying really hard to do a good job. Take a deep breath, get some sleep this weekend, and get back in the game Monday. If you feel comfortable doing so tell the partner that you appreciated her steady hand during your implosion but don’t make a big deal out of it. I very seriously doubt she will.

likesmart

I have had several associates do exactly that many times. I didn’t think differently about them afterward. We all have our moments. I would rather have an associate who cares about the work and the deadlines than someone who doesn’t give AF. That being said, I have generally used those situations as teaching moments after the fact. The next day, I will usually explain that we all feel that way but in the long term if you want to get ahead you need to be a duck. Calm above the surface and paddling like hell under the water. I will usually discuss with the associate how to avoid reaching that breaking point by communicating in advance and delegating etc. The truth of it is the partners are often freaking out too. They have just learned how to not show it - especially to associates. The partner is supposed to reassure you even if they share your sentiments. Bottom line is don’t worry about it but come up with a strategy for future because it won’t be the last time you feel freaked out.

likesmarthelpful

Props on not crying

likeupliftingfunny

Crying isn’t a weakness. Keep your props.

likeuplifting

More than once. As soon as possible, when you regain your composure, just drop by their office or send them a note and say “oh man sorry that wasn’t about you.” Everybody has bad days. If it’s once in a blue moon and you don’t make anyone feel like it’s their fault, they generally won’t hold it against you.

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Okay good! To clarify we were going over deadlines and she said I looked worried. I told her that I woke up in a panic last night because in-house counsel for client 1 gave me documents late Tuesday for a project we have to give to the client this coming Monday (we have an office policy of getting things to the in-house counsel a week before they’re due). I was in CLEs all week so I told them I’d give them the project today. But last night the research project I had almost completed for client 2 (and had worked about 10-12 hours on) disappeared so I spent the entire morning working with IT and the office manager and ultimately the document could not recovered. So now i have to re-do the entire project. And then in my state of word-vomit/stress told her that I worry about being fired and that I’m not doing a good enough job. (To which she laughed and told me I was insane and needed to calm down.)

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I never complain to a partner unless it’s absolutely necessary.

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Loll

I once interviewed at a firm with a white male partner that was very collegial, we got to talking about how convenient the office location was for grabbing lunch/drinks etc, when the partner said “there are some really good Asian spots that you would probably like.” I am Japanese. I said, why would you think I like Asian food? As he started to apologize I started laughing and told him I was kidding. I could tell he felt bad about it but I didn’t take the job when it was offered to me. I

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OK

I did this once. I caught myself 2 minutes in, and asked for some time to gather my thoughts re: what prompted my reaction.

Went back to their office 30 minutes later much more composed. They haven’t treated me differently since then.

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Have any associates done this? Also to partners have you had any associates do this and did it make you think about them differently?

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If it makes you feel better, I did end up crying and now I can’t look my partner in the face anymore

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As much as I hate that for you it does make me feel better

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I wouldn’t worry about it. I think everyone has those moments. As long as its a partner you trust, you should be OK.

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I tried to prevent a freak out by telling a male partner that now was not a good time because it was my time of the month. I didn’t use those words exactly, but I think he was still taken aback (or freaked out) lol. But anything he said to me would have made me cry that day.

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Happens. I am sure that partner did the same thing more than once

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