{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Has an admin ever told you that you were too unattractive to be a teacher?", "post_id": "61041d88a58adc0021c01b69", "reply_count": 152, "vote_count": 13, "bowl_id": "5c751b9f2f6b98001bc666f8", "bowl_name": "Teachers" }

Has an admin ever told you that you were too unattractive to be a teacher?

likefunnyhelpful
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We have had a few new teachers in the past couple of years who didn’t care about their professional appearance, greasy hair and sloppily dressed (they were also big complainers). They weren’t hired back or decided to find work elsewhere. But to think that looks would be a qualification for the job is ridiculous. To me, attractiveness is about attitude, personality, confidence, and how you present yourself. Last year with all of the requirements and mental/emotional exhaustion, I must say that my tired, stressed, and more short-tempered self was not very attractive. If they intended to ask you to dress more professional, appear more confident, or show a more positive attitude, they definitely should have worded it differently. I wouldn’t call anyone “unattractive”. It is vague, rude, and not constructive.

likesmartfunny

No one has ever said I was unattractive, but I did have an admin who said in a meeting with my union rep, “may I address the matter of professional attire?” The rep looked at me, looked at him and said go ahead. He then proceeded to say “your jewelry is excessive; your costumes are clown-y”! I’ll never forget that as long as I live. A few years later after I moved to another school, I ran into a hall monitor from that school when I was shopping. She had told me while I was at that school that an admin was looking up the dress code for female employees to see if he could find something, but felt free to divulge when I saw her that day that he was the one doing the research. She also told me that he liked to hug her - she was a very buxom woman. It explained his harassment because 1) he had no choice in my coming to his school because I picked it during my voluntary transfer and 2) my clothing was colorful, flowing, of my own design, and covered me from neck to ankles for the most part. I had the feeling that if my legs and ta-tas had been more visible he probably wouldn’t have found fault with every aspect of my teaching culminating in a low score on my evaluation during the two years. Luckily I was able to get hired on elsewhere, where they liked my teaching style and admired my personal style. While I was at my new school, I found out that the school was designated a turnaround school because of its graduation rate and other parameters, and so I felt vindicated that I was not the overwhelming problem he made me out to be.

likeupliftingfunnyhelpful
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No, and if one said that to you, then you need to speak to your union rep, then HR. If necessary, you then need to go to the administrator directly above the one who said it. That's unacceptable.

likehelpfulsmart

CES2, I didn’t see the post about not being hired back because of hygiene. I don’t follow football, but we are STL Cardinal fans. Lol. I am a traitor.

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Thank you everyone for your thoughtful responses. I have made an appointment with the Superintendent to discuss this matter further.

likeupliftingsmartfunny

It’s probably none of our business, but should you feel so inclined, I would love to know the exciting conclusion.

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I wish! That’s ticket to early retirement! I’ll take the settlement in large unmarked bills please!

likefunnyhelpful

Haha and Ill be your best friend!

What????!!!! What in the 🌎????

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No not at all and I pray no one told you that. That’s rude.

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One of my supervising professors did mention that he did not care for the “shapeless” dresses I wore. He went on to say that I should give myself more “credit.” At the time I was a dumb twenty year old, so I said nothing. Now I think it’s kind of funny that I was supposed to take style advice from an old education professor.

likesmartfunny

UMS 1 I would consider that remark as sexual harassment & NOBODY has the right to comment on what you are wearing unless it totally inappropriate… ex. being able to see a thong through white pants (when I taught HS one of our young permanent subs did that… !) Sounds to me like he was (as my mom used to say lol) a dirty old man!!!

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No. I tend to think that things like weight, age, style, etc. can cause them to be more or less supportive but they generally don't verbalize their motivation

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Public Service! In addition, we do not earn salaries, nor are we structured- advantaged , for traditional corporate type presentations/style (gym membership, stylist, “make-up”, appointments during the workday). I was once assigned to a school and classroom where the desks ripped my clothes daily/weekly; female students would catch and rip their hair in the desks. I ceased wearing my professional dress to work and no longer maintained a “polished” appearance. ( I caught sarcastic comments from different people either way; - too good, or not good enough): Work Culture PublicEd!

likeupliftingsmartfunny

That's insane! I can't believe anyone would think someone's physical "beauty" has a "rat's gluteus maximus" (pardon my expression, I'm just so angry 😡) to do with their teaching ability!! As mentioned in earlier posts, "beauty" is in the eye of the beholder. I've worked with some teachers who may have been viewed by many to be "beautiful" that couldn't teach a wit and their students suffered for it. Luckily, they realized teaching was not for them and left. Phew! Anyway, please have the strength to follow up on this. I know it may be difficult, but know you have support, even if it is only through words of encouragement. I don't know you, but just having the strength to post this abuse shows me how strong a person you are. Best of luck.

likeupliftingsmart

An administrator told me he didn’t like my walk so I spent the next several days trying to change it which made walking very awkward for next month. Most people thought I had a leg injury, not every administrator is good at their job unfortunately 😂

likefunnyhelpful

I don’t think of dress as part of your actual physical structure and how good/bad looking you are. That can easily be changed. It is difficult to change your face and I think people are wise to stay away from most cosmetic surgeries. We all have assets, but we all get old. Youth is beautiful and so is survival. But our eyes grow puffy and our skin drapes on our frame rather than spreads taught. We become experienced teachers and what matters is your love of learning, your love of the students and their future. Teaching and learning are not beauty pageants. Neat and presentable are wise but it is what is inside you that matters.

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I'm going to braid my hair in support.

likeuplifting

I've been told by administration at another school that I smiled too much.

likefunnyhelpful

CES2, I'm afraid you're right (about the winking), even though it is completely harmless, which I think is a sad commentary about what has happened to our society!

likeupliftinghelpful

Nope that’s ridiculous My narcissistic principal goes after older female teachers

likehelpful

NCE 2 not up here in CT. 55 & still going strong! I mean a few retired but many in my district are still working… although the pandemic has made me question if I will retire early! So Yeah… Older teachers unite!

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I would understand if they made a comment about dressing professionally or some such. But attractive? We aren't movie stars or models. In fact, why would we even WANT to be attractive at work? I surely don't need my high school students thinking of me like that. There's a very firm line in that sand, and I don't need to create any grey area on that issue, thank you very much.

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I whole-heartily agree. I teach in a middle school and many years ago we had 2 teachers that dressed inappropriately, to the point that the students were making comments about how you could tell the one teacher was wearing a thong and the other (who was extremely well-endowed) liked lace bras! Needless to say, many of the students found it hard to concentrate on their work. I even remember hearing a student tell another that he would call the one teacher over for "help" so she would bend down and he could see her cleavage. 🙄 Both teachers no longer work at the MS, but they still work in the district (elementary grades). I've seen them at district functions and they have"toned down" their outfits. I don't know if that is coincidence or if they were talked to about it.

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Yikes! Absolutely not. The closest I’ve seen is an admin telling a teacher that her voice was too soft for her classroom. She taught in a strangely shaped science lab that had a tendency to echo. The admin had the lab tables removed and replaced with desks that crowded toward the front. That worked a lot better. I am so sorry if this has ever happened to you!

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It’s your heart that matters

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If that's true I would think you would have a excellent case against that individual.

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Make sure you have union representation with you!!! A must. I refuse to go into any meeting with admin without a representative.

likehelpful

When you deal with this, make sure you have a union rep with you. If the Admin who said it was male, it can be very helpful to take a male union rep with you. My first year teaching my AP asked what kind of men I liked, Mexican, white, black. I just stared at him and he persisted. I gave him no reaction and he left. When I asked my union rep about it, he scheduled a meeting immediately, told the AP very directly that it was unprofessional and sexual harassment, that he expected that the AP would never speak to me that way again or a grievance would be filed all the way up the chain of command if necessary. The AP went pale, stammered an apology, and to my great relief stayed away. I do think the union rep also being male and believing me made a difference. It shouldn’t have. But it did.

likehelpful

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