Has anyone been to a detox program or rehab/treatment centers? My husband needs help but unsure where to start. Weed/drinking addiction and he’s tried to stop but goes back to one or the other. He is in between jobs and has about 3 weeks off so need some insight on what I can do to help him.

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My husband did just shy of 30 days at a rehab program. It was the only that would work given his history. It was intense and expensive but our insurance covered almost 100% of it. He’ll be sober 6 yrs in October. It doesn’t always work but he had a small piece of him that wanted to be better and do better, so he committed and did the work.

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PwC1, I'm so happy for you and your husband! Was his rehab program AA-based? And does he still currently attend AA meetings? Or did he do the 30 days and after that has managed to remain sober?

It's impossible to quote "success percentages", but they are low, painfully low. Before Covid, I used to visit a local Rehab center with my AA home group to talk with the rehabbers, and I can only confirm less than 5 (out of the 100+ people I saw) who are still sober.

From my experience and understanding, your husband is the exception, not the rule.

Look up an intensive out patient program. Group therapy. Can be helpful. Also maybe have him try an AA meeting? They are free and work for many. Good for him for being willing to get the help.

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Done both, 5 detoxes, 2 rehabs, and many ER visits. Sober over a year now. The important question is does he want to stop? If that answer isn't a full yes, there's nothing you can do to help. No one gets sober until they want to. Feel free to ask me anything, addiction is a truly terrible thing.

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Those guys irritated the hell out of me. In denial about their problems, telling war stories all the time, taking the experience for granted when there's tons of people wishing they had insurance or could pay to go. I avoided them.

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Can i also make a group for like wives of alcoholics/addicts?! Going through a rough time and would love the support.

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Hi KPMG1, I started this Bowl with the hope that it'd be inclusive for everyone. It's actually really helpful for me, as an alcoholic, to read what it's like from the opposite perspective.

You're of course free to start a new bowl but I encourage you to use this venue to keep Addiction & Recovery in one place. :)

I just got out of one a few weeks back. Probably the best decision I’ve ever made

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One thing you can look into is chemical counter-conditioning. The program I went through was only ten days, and I haven’t had a drink in close to seven years now. The process is brutal but it works.

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My goodness. That sounds awful. I'm so sorry you had to go through that and glad it worked for you.
Will definitely look into this more. Thank you for such a detailed helpful explanation..

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My husband started one today. Where are you located

I’m in TX. He’s going to Cypress Lakes here. I like that it’s a short drive away, feels comforting to me. The team there is phenomenal, they’re not out to make money and most of them are recovered alcoholics as well so they’ve actually been there. They have a much smaller group and with someone like my husband who has difficulty opening up, it’s a perfect setting for him.

You mentioned your husband doesn’t have insurance. Our out of pocket cost with Aetna is abt $2-3000. We have a very comprehensive plan. Some other rehabs I’ve called are usually $30000 and upwards out of pocket. Please do your research (reviews, references!) before picking one because a lot of them are just money guzzling machines

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Any thoughts on Smart Recovery?

I believe there are a couple folks on here who've gotten sober through Smart Recovery. I found sobriety through AA.

There are a couple key differences between the two programs, as I understand them:

1. AA - Designed to help the alcoholic find a Higher Power (in a non-religious way), which becomes a replacement for "will power" (which, as we all know, is useless when it comes to alcohol).

SMART - Designed to bolster the internal strengths of the individual, and focuses on a unique recovery plan for each sufferer.

2. AA - Everyone follows the same 12 Steps that have been in existence since the late 1930's, with the goal being absolute abstinence, which is achieved "one day at a time", from the disease of Alcoholism.

SMART - The individual decides their goals, they do not need to identify as an alcoholic, moderation can be the goal, and it's up to the participant if they want to view Alcoholism as a disease.

3. AA - Spiritual based.

SMART - Scientific based.

In the end, if something, anything, works, then it's a miracle. Recovery is not guaranteed, and I know of at least 3 people, 2 of which were in their 20s or 30s, who've died of this disease in the last couple weeks.

I would not trade my AA recovery for anything in the world. I can never know if SMART would have also worked for me, but I'm just glad I'm sober today.

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I did a 9O day IOP. I wanted to quit and went on my own accord. I don’t subscribe to the idea that you have to stay in a structured AA program for life in order to stay sober. I meditate, exercise, reiki, color and do Wim Hof breathing. I’m happier than I’ve ever been and as time goes on I’m more resolute that I will never drink again. I like myself this way a lot more. I’m not saying this is right for everyone but I am saying there are many paths to get and stay well.

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