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I decided to choose my mental health over unnecessary drama. We were both set in our ways and neither was willing to bend (I got tired of being the bigger person). With the added emotional demands of a prolonged pandemic and social distancing, I didn’t need that kind of negativity. I’ve kept communications limited and will keep it that way
Yep, I have and absolutely no regrets about cutting ties off. Couldn’t deal with the drama. It was hard coming to the decision since we all hear the trope that family is everything! But not everyone’s family is healthy and sometimes you need to make peace with it & move on.
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I have for my mental peace, but it does get lonely at times ( esp during pandemic) but my immediate family was extremely toxic and verbally abusive
Yes it gave us mental peace, keep in touch with extended family who can understand you so that you can have some emotional support when needed
I have set clear boundaries with my dad’s side of the family. They’ve never accepted my mom and have always been manipulative and verbally abusive towards my parents. I’ve been wanting to have nothing to do with them for years, but my dad still maintained a relationship. Things went south at the end of 2019 and I’ve made it clear to them that I’m on my dad’s side. I don’t regret it because they are toxic, manipulative, and conniving people, but it is definitely hard—especially on holidays and birthdays because they reach out. I’m naturally a deeply empathetic person so I sometimes do feel for them as people and they’re not obviously 100% “bad”. Even then, I have to look out for my immediate family and myself and that means putting some space between me and them.
It’s hard to separate for your own well being but therapy helped me to care first for my “inner child” who struggles with all the conflict and negativity.
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Thanks ladies. Is there any situation in which you would try to keep relationships open? I’m also very empathetic and when one side tells me they’re hurt (even if I think they’re being manipulative) I feel even worse for standing up for myself or my other families. It’s such a hard thing to step back from family and I’m not even sure if it’s the right thing to do
Once you set boundaries and are no longer directly involved in the tension, you will realize how much it affects you and that will make it easier for you to proceed. But you have to start somewhere. You don’t have to cut them off right away or at all, but telling them you don’t want to be brought into the middle of their drama is a very reasonable ask