{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Has anyone ever been bullied by their co workers and paras ? I work with a very cliquey staff. I picked the wrong battle and they have been paying me back with all year. I’m actually sick to my stomach when I think about going back next year and it’s not just about Covid. \nI have apologized for not staying in my own lane and gone above and beyond to help this teacher with her IEP paperwork. \nI’m at a loss.", "post_id": "5f08a049330945001a5329bd", "reply_count": 21, "vote_count": 4, "bowl_id": "5c903cf9d82a66001d25e34b", "bowl_name": "Special Education Teachers" }

Has anyone ever been bullied by their co workers and paras ? I work with a very cliquey staff. I picked the wrong battle and they have been paying me back with all year. I’m actually sick to my stomach when I think about going back next year and it’s not just about Covid. I have apologized for not staying in my own lane and gone above and beyond to help this teacher with her IEP paperwork. I’m at a loss.

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First off, I literally just pulled into a parking spot to reply to this when I saw it pop up on my phone. I just went through a year of absolute HELL because I was in your same position a year ago and decided to go back to the same school. If you can, leave. Seriously. If you can’t, document EVERYTHING. That was my biggest mistake because I was forced to quit due to unbearable circumstances, but I couldn’t actually claim this because I don’t have documentation. I cannot express it enough how important it will be to document every interaction you have with them. I’ve been needing to prove it for unemployment benefits purposes. All of last year I was insecure, paranoid, and exhausted. It was, 100%, due to the bullying which stemmed from me standing up for what was right. If you’re feeling real ballsy, you could even mention to your admin or HR that you need it to stop and that you will be documenting all interactions with them.

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I learned you have to be very careful when listening to complaints from para professionals. There were two paras this past year who continually came into my room to complain about another teacher. Towards the end of the year it became more and more apparent that that’s just what they do. One, more so than the other. I always directed them to the dept. head but they said she didn’t listen. I explained to them when you tell me it’s just gossip. Another thing I learned is if they gossip to you they gossip about you. That doesn’t make for a very good team.

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Yes always say it’s the ADULTS not the KIDS!!! Sooo sad!!!

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Couldn’t agree more.

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Yes, I have. Stick to your guns, do your work, and let the others just complain. If you feel bullied, go to your supervisor and union rep and make a grievance report. Don't let them try to ruin your reputation due to one mishap.

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Thanks

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Reading all your responses just reminds me how crazy our jobs can be! I have had problems in my classroom with my staff throughout the years. I admit a lot of it has stemmed from not communicating clearly on my end. Twice I went to my admin and asked for help on resolving the issues in my classroom. I approached it with a “I want to do better” attitude rather than putting the blame on others, though I certainly feel like they had their equal share of the blame. Anyhow. In the first instance, my admin also asked their union rep to go, so they felt backed up instead of feeling like the principal was siding with me. We approached it by asking “what’s going well” and “even better if..” Besides one toxic person in our group, a lot improved. I also had improvements the second time I asked for help. I feel like going into it with the mindset and attitude of “I’d love for us to figure this out” is going to more likely lead to improvements and a meaningful meeting. Not saying it will work, but it’s better than going in with the attitude of “sorry I made a mistake, but just drop it already because I’m frustrated now!” Also, DOCUMENT.

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Yes I've learned to be quiet, don't let them make u 2nd guess ur decisions, and just do your work. If they talk, let them as long as it's not about you.

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Yes! My school is full of cliques. Luckily I'm a veteran teacher. Just remember that you're there for the kids...let that be your constant focus. If it continues, try to find a better school for your next contract. Most schools have very supportive teams.

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I made one of them mad over one incident and now they all hate me. I’ve thought about leaving soo many times, but I would have to travel to get to another school which just doesn’t work for my family. It’s emotionally exhausting to be treated so poorly every day. I’ll even say hi in the hallway and they just ignore me. It’s like high school all over. Best wishes to you.

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Sorry you have to endure that kind of treatment. Hope this year is better!

Yes, I worked in a sub separate classroom and all the staff had been there for years. One of the para’s was the same age as me and has not been able to pass classes to become licensed but thought she knew everything. Administration supported her and as a result there was a lot of teacher turnover.

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Interesting—our job is to teach young people and often our colleagues and sometimes we ourselves act like children. I always ask myself, “Self, why am I or others acting this way.” 😊 The response is always something is off balance internally. For myself or that person, I give a wide berth and so what I can to support and be cordial. But like children, if we feed too much energy to the situation—carrots or sticks—it grows. Balance in all things.

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I had this happen the first year I taught. I was really lucky I had some admin on my side. The teachers who bullied me all left the next year. What saved me was sending emails to communicate with these teachers, even after a face-to-face conversation. I had a second experience we're I was teaching a small group behavior class and one of the Paras told me flat out she was used to running classrooms she was put in and proceeded to undermine all my efforts. I quit that job because it was becoming a safety issue for the students, myself and other para. Luckily I was able to get a job in the middle of the year. Document, document, document. Good luck!

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Yep it happens. Same with myself, partially why I left.

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It’s so sad.

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