Has anyone ever felt like some of the feedbacks you received is because you are Asian? Like i keep being told that I sound unsure, unconfident and not poised enough.. I've been told once that I didn't have enough presence on a call but.. I did the presentation so I talked 90% of the call..

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

OP: it's possible both are true: that you sounded unsure and unconfident to some people AND some people wrongly perceived that as inherent to your ethnicity. Non-Asians tend to mistake our politeness and courtesy with uncertainty and lack of confidence, but if you act more outwardly or stereotypically self-assured they could say you're arrogant or over-compensating.

If you get similar feedback again from a manager, I'd suggest you ask for specific examples of you coming across not confident and their suggestions for what they'd do. If they can adequately explain or give any sound advice, move on and continue to be you. I did this with a previous manager and actually got some fair advice (fwiw, I got the opposite feedback, too aggressive). At the end of the day though, I came to the conclusion that the problem wasn't because of my personality, I just didn't have patience for bullshit and in some cases it wasn't worth the effort to placate incompetent shit heads.

likehelpful

Ahh thank you.ii do have a one-on-one with my manager soon so I'm planning to ask for specifics then. I've actually also been told before that I was too aggressive, but at a different agency.. and now I'm too timid(?) Ugh!

like

I went through the same pendulum. When I was polite and deferential, I kept being pushed to speak up and "we value your opinion". When I started speaking up, I was told I was "combative" --first time in my career, escalated to HR.

I caution being gaslit and take the feedback at face value. I've worked with all kinds of foreign and local colleagues of all temperament and they've always done things their way. This includes CDs, ECDs, CCOs.

This perception, expectation, and treatment I identify with stuff women have to deal with at work.


(And my previous response got reported for a slur 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂)

like

What you describe sounds very much like unconscious bias since you're not fitting their mold, expectation, or world view. It will be couched as advice and to be fair, they might not be malicious at all. They might think they're trying to help you.

I've been complimented on my English or ability to speak more than one language and that person thinks it's a compliment when in fact English is my first language 'cept I have an accent. 🙄

I know an Ameeican POC who gets pressured to speak up in zoom team calls, not meetings, like casual Friday "hang outs" and the manager no doubt thinks they're encouraging participation but instead it puts the person on the spot.

When it happened to me, I took it seriously like you did. I thought I needed public speaking. I started therapy. I've never been described that way at work in a 10+ yr career in many countries.

After I left, I looked up the company on Glassdoor and see complaints or micromanagement, talking down, "restricting" creatives from likely the same person. Ultimately it's them and whatever issues they have, manifesting outward differently and we cop a colored version of it.


I think Associate Director is right. Ask for specific feedback. Ask them to give examples of what they're looking for. Ask them to suggest a colleague you can "observe". I'm sure who they suggest will be revealing.

like

I’m so sorry you’ve received that feedback. Whilst I haven’t received the same ones, I’m often the only person who got spoon fed on what to say at presentation rehearsals and then over-congratulated for how well I had performed. They often underestimate my communication skills due to my ethnicity.

like

Thank you. Did you do anything about it? If so, what did you do? How did you handle the situation?

They need to redefine what leadership and presence looks like. I got feedback I was shy in meetings. Valid feedback but also racial understones bc they took my silence as weakness vs respect.
Look, Asia, Asian countries had some of the most violent wars ever. WE ARE NOT DOCILE or INSECURE.

You got this. You should join the group Asians in Advertising! Or feel free to DM me let’s chat. You got this.

like

Yet.. I didn't have a presence.
But I don't get this kind of feedback from a different team I work with that happen to have other Asians and minorities on both agency and client side. What are your experiences? I'm so tired of this feedback. I don't feel unsure or unconfident at all.
Feel free to give tough love and any advice on how to come off more confident and poised. Thanx
Also, Im short but I look 17 so makes no difference when you're on zoom calls.

Aw, thanks y'all.

I never had a mentor, so this feedback means a lot. ❤️

likeuplifting

Related Posts

Workplace bullying by the boss. Disguised as a Verbal warning. Tells me I made this position for you. When I do something she doesn't like, or she wants me to do something am not comfortable with anymore. What should I do?

like

How should I react to a super disrespectful manager? She had a meeting today and google meet stopped working. Instead of thinking: oh a technical problem occurred she started blaming me saying that I should have created a corrected link. When I told her that was quite impossible her answer was: I forgot you are miss I am never wrong Linksare autogenerated by google meet, if I was able to “create” links and codes I would not have been her assistant but already in the valley making tons of money.

It’s my birthday! How should I treat myself?

likeuplifting

Anyone else finds it annoying how we are seen by civils? I mean, I like the respect and the people that approach me to congratulate me and thank me for my service, but I don't understand why some people are fearsome of us.

like

My boss uses my first name in conversations with me a lot…like when starting a sentence. It feels like an intimidation tactic or manipulative. Can I say anything?

like

Female woman of color whose habit is to be liked during interviews. How do I learn executive presence and let go of the behaviors that keep me from advancing?

like

How do you over aggressive women bosses?

like

Couple of mistakes in the past 2 weeks and the partner I do 80% of my work for (for multiple years) is treating me like our entire relationship is based on the last 2 weeks

like

What's something about a member of your team you wish you could say to their face?

like

I think I am a pretty good programmer. I can do clean coding and make complex systems that are easily maintainable and understandable for my colleague's at a good pace. However, my personality afk is completely the opposite, I'm messy, incoherent in speech, easily confused and distracted and perceived as ditzy. I've been accused of being dumb sheep. (If you know mbti I'm a stereotypical ENFP)

Is this just imposter syndrome from a different angle?

like

I have a pride pin on my work backpack. I got it during Pride which also happened to be my birthday. So far nobody had asked questions / made comments. Makes me feel good every day :)

like

I'm new to the area and come from a laid-back California tech startup environment. I'd like to update my wardrobe to be more appropriate to DC. What would you say is the style here, especially for guys?

like

Does anyone have recommendations for a small punching bag i can set up next to my work desk so I can put the picture of my co-worker's face and beat the s**t out of it?

likefunny

Advice on the appropriate way to let coworkers know you'd rather eat lunch or dinner alone. I don't want to offend my team, but I just need the alone time..

like

Hello!


Do we have any international members in here? I’m looking for some company recommendations that I can purchase holidays gift for team members in the UK to have it delivered! I am in the US and I think I can use PayPal to pay for it! Types of gifts are helpful too! 🤗

like

Morale is down. Is it my job as a Mgr to pep up my team if the reasons are not work related? I’m also struggling amongst virtual learning, F/T work, the unknown & feel its unfair to put that on me.

like

Happy Halloween! Who says Financial Professionals are not creative? Share what you dressed up as for work today?

like

Law firm bio: do you add a personal bit at the end or keep it all business?

like

When leaving a job, how do you be transparent on how shitty you were treated by your manager? I want to make sure it doesn’t happen again to future employees. What’s a good way to express this without trashing someone’s name?

like

People at my job are always telling me how great at it I am and sending written praise up to the director. I should be happy but i was constantly berated for the smallest things at B4 that the new constant praise makes me almost suspicious. Like they can't actually think I'm that good, right?

likefunny

More Posts

How much do Senior 1s make in PI finance with non target Mba?

like

I received I485 transfer notice from USCIS via post . "In order to speed up processing....we transferred your case to...: National Benefits Center, MO". What does this mean. Is this good/bad?

Is Deloitte or PWC hiring in cyber security right now?

like

what should be the salary range for Architect having 15+ experience

Is there anywhere we can check late timesheet submission report in Deloitte india.

like

Is anyone familiar with average or competitive salaries for business planning and analysis? I’m the sole manager/employee of my function for a midsize IT firm in thE OC of SoCal. I wear many hats outside my direct duties and help keep our entire Business Unit/Commercial Side running smoothly (about 15 of us total). I feel severely underpaid but have a hard time finding comparable positions, thus salaries as well. Any info is greatly appreciated.

like

I just accepted an offer at Paycom as a senior software dev. Anyone have experience with this company as a developer?

like

LA folks , who wants to get together? 😁

like

what's the new wfh update for Oracle ? Previously I heard that offices are reopening on 4th April.

like

Like my profile please to activate my DM
Please

like

My portfolio as of today:

50% #Bitcoin
40% $BTC
10% $SATS

likesmartfunny

Diamond hands, peeps.

like

Anybody knows what I can do as a Mechanical Engineer undergrad working as a development engineer with 3D printing in HealthCare after getting a Master of Science in Project Management? What are the suitable positions and requirements?

like
like

20 people have left this casteism enabling bowl in the past week. When are you leaving?

likefunny

Received bad news from Accenture today. Unsure of what they were looking for. I was referred for on a JMO application.

Post Photo
like

Want to sell Pharma at a loss (just increasing) and buy ICLN but it’s at 52-weeks high 🤔?
Any insight on the situation..

like

What are the best consulting firms for someone with a TS/SCI with FSP? Non staffing roles. I’d rather do strategy, transformation, tech integration, etc...

likehelpful

🪡 ✨ New threat dynamic ✨🧵

Age and salary. I start:

27Y: 130k

like

Additional Posts in Asians in Advertising

People always thought I was the IT guy

funny

We all heard about black history month. Will a yellow history month be cool or offensive?

like

How have your respective agencies, leaders, and teams responded to the influx of discrimination and hate against Asians, as well as the nuances & intersectionality of uplifting women, BLM, etc?

How did you feel about how they may or may not have acknowledged this, and if they did, are they putting/planning to put action behind their words?

like

Can we talk about the rise of hate crimes in AAPI community? My heart is heavy as we celebrate Lunar New Year this year.

like

My fellow AAPI fishies – Sending you lots of love, support, and healing following the unsettling events in Atlanta. So grateful for this community <3 <3

like

Are any agencies celebrating LNY?

Hi, I'm an Asian student studying advertising. What has your experience been like as an Asian working in advertising agencies?

like

Sign up on diversecreatives.com - database for diverse talent, going live soon. Should be a good resource for recruiters to find PoC.

like

Happy Lunar New Year!

like

I’m proud of you everyone!!

like

Whatttt'sssss good my dooooods

As an Asian American, have you experienced bias this year that you believe was related to coronavirus?

like

When your team director calls you out for liking crazy rich Asians, and says, “I didn’t call on you because you’re Asian....” in front of my entire team of 70 people.

like

I’ve been searching for a bilingual Chinese writer for some time now to partner with. At this point it feels like finding a unicorn. Anyone here worked with a conceptual writer not a translator?

like

LOOKING FOR ACD WRITER!!!! MESSAGE ME IF YOURE INTERESTED!!!
It's at a fun shop! With fun brands and accounts where you're often paid to binge watch shows and entertainment!

like