{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Has anyone ever reported repeated micro-aggressions from a partner that were taking a toll on your mental health to HR or otherwise? If so, what approach did you take? Would doing it during an exit interview be a good idea? Or is it perhaps better to just leave the firm without saying anything to avoid burning bridges?", "post_id": "616ecb9adfcfbf003b82297b", "reply_count": 10, "vote_count": 8, "bowl_id": "5df70ed2f7169f002b172d3f", "bowl_name": "Big Law" }

Has anyone ever reported repeated micro-aggressions from a partner that were taking a toll on your mental health to HR or otherwise? If so, what approach did you take? Would doing it during an exit interview be a good idea? Or is it perhaps better to just leave the firm without saying anything to avoid burning bridges?

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What types of “micro-aggressions?” Is it just basic gaslighting you on work product, attendance, etc. or are the “micro-aggressions” targeted at your race, sex, national origin, etc.?

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I would tread very carefully and do a neutral self-assessment of the situation. One, is it possible that my work product is bad or below expectations? If so, have I spoken with this partner about ways to improve. Two, is my attendance/availability lagging behind my peers? If so, do I have a legitimate reason (i bill more hours but have childcare, I bill same hours as peers but wfh and not in office, etc.). Three, is the partner where the bulk of my work and performance evaluation come from? If the answer is yes and you haven’t had a long discussion with the partner about your performance and what he/she recommends for improvement, complaining to HR is only going to strain your relationship with the partner and the firm. (I am sorry you’re dealing with this. Some partners are just jerks and they treat people this way.)

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I reported a partner for what some might call micro aggressions (but they didn’t seem very micro to me). It’s a long story but she basically drove me into the ground. Nothing I did was ever acceptable, every problem was both my fault and mine to fix, I had to extra work others didn’t have to do, and she openly criticized me to others all the time. It wasn’t a secret and several people pointed out that she clearly hated me and wanted me fired. I finally reported her and almost nothing happened. The MP of my office sort of apologized while I cried in his office and didn’t end up doing anything. My only reprieve was when I threatened to quit to the head of litigation, and even then all they’ve done is kept me away from her. I’m glad I reported it because it kept me from having to lateral, but the whole experience left me pretty jaded. At my last firm, though, someone else reported a partner to HR for sexually harassing me (he publicly grabbed my ass and loudly propositioned me at a firm event) and he eventually got fired. So I’d report that kind of stuff in an instant.

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AA1 I’m so sorry. I hope you get out of there soon.

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I’ve been in a similar position - not micro aggressions but some shady behaviour that I was heavily debating whether to let pass - and ultimately decided not to mention it during my exit interview. I took the view that the partners were highly unlikely to take any feedback on board and it didn’t benefit me to bring it up at that stage anyway. If I had been going to an in-house role, especially a client role, I probably would have found a way to get the overall point across during my exit interview though.

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Thanks for sharing!

Truth is they likely won’t take any action unless egregious behavior is involved. HR works for the partnership, not the other way around. So not worth wasting your time from my perspective. Shift firms / groups / partners and move on.

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