{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Has anyone heard of the Natalist? I found their Parent Plans book but the only reviews are directly on their site. Alternatively, are there any recommendations for books my husband and I can read to begin preparing to have a child? I can’t just get pregnant and figure it out, I need to try to go in informed (understanding that there’s no way to truly prepare). Expecting Better and Crib Sheets have very polar reviews and don’t quite fit the bill for me. TIA!", "post_id": "615b390a0b65e10022e28fbc", "reply_count": 8, "vote_count": 1, "bowl_id": "58f81646ae9f610010f869be", "bowl_name": "Consulting Moms" }

Has anyone heard of the Natalist? I found their Parent Plans book but the only reviews are directly on their site. Alternatively, are there any recommendations for books my husband and I can read to begin preparing to have a child? I can’t just get pregnant and figure it out, I need to try to go in informed (understanding that there’s no way to truly prepare). Expecting Better and Crib Sheets have very polar reviews and don’t quite fit the bill for me. TIA!

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Informed about what? You could spend a literal lifetime getting informed.

likesmart

These are all completely legitimate things to want to know and understand, but part of the problem is you won’t know which of those you really need to work on and how until you get the process started. There’s so many variables. Financials - completely depends on your income, your city, your job, your partner’s job (if you have a partner), your desire to have a super decked out baby’s room or just go with the basics, etc. Change any of those things and the costs will vary wildly. (Daycare and giving birth will probably be your single biggest costs.) Commitment - I’m assuming this is with a partner and each of your contributions to the baby, as well as your existing relationship? If so, everyone reacts differently to the upheaval that is pregnancy and the baby. People also react differently than they would have expected of themselves before the pregnancy/birth. There’s kind of no way to know if you’ll have issues until you do - the caveat being if you and your partner already have communication or commitment issues, there’s no way a baby will make them better! To a degree, you kind of have to just *feel* ready at some point, and then jump off that scary cliff. I get the sense that your questions come from a place of not being ready yet? And that’s completely okay! Life is never, ever the same once there is a baby. It’s a huge change, and it’s okay to not feel ready. It’s okay to never feel ready.

likehelpful

What aspects are you looking to have covered? Kind of doubt you’ll find one to cover everything. I’m no fan of Emily Oster myself, but above books could at least give you a sense of the scope of topics.

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Agree! Well said. Additionally, Each child is different. I have 3 sons, esp when they were younger, all three had very different personalities, energy levels, comfort w others, etc etc. Equal IS NOT necessarily ‘fair’. Learning about your child is one of the sweetest pleasures in life. One might sleep through the night right away, never really cry, eats well, mellow overall….the next? colicky, motorically active, impulsive, social butterfly, high strung….the 3rd?? Perfectionistic, puts self in a time out, rule bound, reserved in the presence of others (not family) etc etc. The previous poster was right on the money! All the preparation in the world won’t cover it all. The main thing is to see what’s going on with your child /marriage/etc even if it’s hard. Also, you can research any specific area/issue as it arises. Oh, and communicate, communicate, communicate w your spouse! Relax and enjoy the unknown! You’ll do great!💕

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There is so much, I know. And I can’t prepare for EVERYTHING. But I wish the “what to expect when you’re expecting” series had a “what to expect” that covered financials, emotional and psychological commitment, intimacy changes during pregnancy and after birth, practical changes and responsibility of having a child, things like that

I really appreciate the responses!!! I just feel like, there has to be SOMETHING out there that’s super comprehensive and objective that just runs through a lot of basics to consider/plan before becoming pregnant? Everyone is saying I’ll do great, but I’m not comfortable having a baby until I feel more informed! Maybe because I come from a pretty traumatic background? Or because of my anxiety regarding that level of commitment? Or possibly my selfish need to have a full night of sleep and not be in control of my own life for the next 20 years? Maybe d) all of the above 🙈 I can’t make this decision without knowing more, which is why I’m in desperate need of a book or resource reference.

Thank you 🙏🏻

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