Has anyone stayed in contact with an ex because they genuinely were a good person in your life at the time? I find it hard to completely block someone out just because you may have been incompatible in building a future together, but I’m curious how often you chat moving forward?

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Usually not a good idea.

Just let it go and move on.


You have enough friends, let them go. Unless this was a high school relationship, the continued communication is very likely to cause tension in future relationships. For both of your sakes, move on. I stayed LinkedIn connected (never spoke on the phone or saw each other) to someone for a few years after the relationship as they were a good source of industry insight - eventually their new spouse took issue with it. We lived literally on the other side of the world at one point, and almost always had an ocean and at minimum several states between us. Jealousy is a terrible thing.


I’m friends with one of my exes and one guy I went on maybe 10 dates with. I’m on good terms with all but one of my exes, but these two are the only ones I actually keep up with.

In both instances, we broke up for reasons that were 1) practical, 2) absolutely dealbreaking for one or both of us, and 3) not going to change with time. In other words, there was no question this was final - no “what ifs” or wiggle room. I love them both as people but feelings are strictly platonic and if I ever got the inkling they weren’t on their end, I’d call it out and break the friendship off if necessary.

In order for it to work, ime, there can’t be any doubt or shred of hope you’re going to end up together. And in that same vein, I made it very clear with both guys that if their future romantic partners had issue with our friendship, I would rather bow out than continue the friendship and risk them losing someone who makes them happy. Their current partners are both cool with it (I’m even friends with one of them) but the dynamic only works because we all have really solid communication and transparency.

TLDR, It’s rare, but it’s possible.


I’ve only blocked 2 people, and that was because they couldn’t accept the break up.

It’s one thing to be friendly with an ex, and send an occasional text here and there, or do a group meet up. But if you’re still texting each other every day, and hanging out 1:1, that’s not a good sign

I would also set an amount of time that you do NOT want to be contacted by them if this is a recent break up.


I’ve been good friends with two exes. One I’m very close to. However, you can only be friends when your feelings for that person is completely gone. For me, I completely moved on and then we became friends years later.


I’m only still in contact with one of them… we were best friends before we dated.. broke up after years of dating.. said we would still be friends.. she took the break up harder than I did so I would try to reach out. Sometimes she would answer sometimes she wouldn’t. Figured it was too soon.. gave her about a year or two.. reached back out (she really was my best friend I loved her family. Still closest of friends with her brother to this day). When I reached back out after a year or two she was much more open to being friends.. now we talk once or twice every month or two…

Point being, everyone handles break ups differently, give it time… some people need to heal before being friends… if the friendship is gonna work out, let it work out on its own, don’t push it. What’s meant for you will be for you.


Yeah… in the same exact boat. We text once a month or so. It’s so tough

Also depends if you still have feelings then maybe try to limit communication. If you can see past emotional stuff and stay friends w/o hoping more then you can be in touch more often

Hmmn. Love sees no practicalities …😀. Good luck!

I should add, in the case of the ex, we went absolutely zero contact for 3 months before we even attempted friendship. He still had feelings, so we went another three before we were okay to even consider being in each other’s lives.

If you ex had children with you then I’d totally understand why you’d stay in contact. There are kids involved.

But other than that, there is no need to be in contact with an ex. Even if they were the best person in the world. There is a reason why they are an ex, so let them go and both of you should live your life.

My ex from nearly 10 years ago reached out after 5 years of no contact. We talk occasionally now. I think she regrets breaking up with me because she's always asking for me to visit her...she got married a year after breaking up with me and divorced a year later.

If we lived in the same state still, I definitely would. But it's not meant to be lol.

I did a five year clean break and now text maybe 4x per year.

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