{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Has anyone’s mom or MIL moved in with them to help care for a baby? Would love to hear perspectives. Overwhelmed by consulting and unsure if husband and I will be able to manage 2 consulting careers with no help.", "post_id": "608db2dac4900f002205d8e6", "reply_count": 14, "vote_count": 1, "bowl_id": "58f81646ae9f610010f869be", "bowl_name": "Consulting Moms", "feed_type": "bowl" }

Has anyone’s mom or MIL moved in with them to help care for a baby? Would love to hear perspectives. Overwhelmed by consulting and unsure if husband and I will be able to manage 2 consulting careers with no help.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

My mom lives with us Monday through Friday to watch the kids. Overall it’s amazing- she’s great with kids and obviously loves them so much. The biggest issue we’ve run into is that any difference in opinion on how to raise the kids is taken as a personal attack on how she raised me. “We don’t do time outs with the kids” turns into “are you saying I was a terrible mom and emotionally damaged you when I did time outs?!?” which is exhausting

likehelpful

This is 100% how it would be with my mom. And it’s be BAD. My MIL is amazing though and I’d love her help but I’d feel weird asking her to do stuff like I do the au pair

Why do this to grandparents. They’ve done their jobs parenting with likely far more resources than any of us. Occasional visits/stays are fine, but their dues are paid when it comes to formalizing a nanny sitch.

like

For reference my mom is a career nanny and in her early 50s (so not nearing retirement). She quit her family when my maternity leave ended and we hired her full time and pay market rate. She loves that her 9-5 is watching her grandkids and I’m completely happy to compensate her to do so

likehelpful

You will definitely need help but a nanny or au pair is an option too

like

This. My in-laws are here and though they do help they see child rearing as the moms job and defer to me all the Damn time. I make more than their son but my job is seen as inferior. It’s maddening. They prioritize the wrong things and I’m just miserable. Would much rather have an employee nanny/au pair to be able to direct work. Sadly my little has health problems so outside help during the pandemic is risky :(

like

We have an au pair.

like

My mom lives in the same town as us and provides ~60 hours a week of childcare for us. My husband and I have lived with her at times and she has lived with us at times, so we have a veerry easy relationship, fortunately. I would only have this type of set up with my mom as she 100% defers to my decisions with no hard feelings, and we have super open communication.

like

Am also considering this! As my son moves to school age for someone to reliably help during that 3-6 window. My mom lives just far enough and is just old enough (doesn’t drive) that I’m struggling with another way.

like

For us, paid help was much easier than family, having done both. You can dictate how you want your kids to be cared for with nannies, or daycares set expectations upfront. My husband is a physician with crazy hours so what works for us is a live in nanny who takes care of our infant and does chores / cooking while our toddler is at daycare. Parents / parents in law are a whole other can of worms...

like

My MIL turned out to have shockingly bad judgment and a proclivity to let the child do what they want. She takes no responsibility for injuries that occurred on her watch. Various bad ideas are explained away by “she (toddler) wanted to”. Plus she gets offended at everything. None of this was really in her character or expected before. Occasional babysitting was mostly ok when our daughter was a non-mobile baby, but it turned quickly after that. Now we don’t leave the kids alone with her at all. So if you do go down this route and even if it starts out ok be prepared to have to make a change (and any hard feelings that may ensue). We have an nanny.

like

Related Posts

If Excel and Tinder had a baby = the perfect app.

like

When you are staff and your seniors review everything you do, change a tiny bit, and take as if they did it to present to others, feels like a surrogate mother.

like

Pandora on my drive back home after 13 hours in the office - "All I wanna do is drive home to you, baby I'm faded". Recently broken up. Also, going home to a douche roommate. Oh, the cruelty! 🙁

like

It's not Sunday, so I'm pretty sure the shouts to the Heavenly Father from next door means my colleague has a life... 😞 #hotellife #thinwalls #itsonlyMonday #cantremembermylasttime

like

Fresh analyst joins the project. Attempts to school the team on how to do Vegas right. Im just too tired to give a shit on Monday night dinner, so enjoy the spotlight kid.

like

Why does everyone in the tax service line look like every kid that was bullied in high school

like

Do any of you have kids? If so do you find working for the big four manageable with a child?

like

I feel like a mother f*king zombie.

like

Dear kid from middle seat who pulled up my window blind while I was dozing off, head resting right where the bright scorching sun started to slowly burn a hole.. Fuck you. I will steal your cookies.

like

Any ladies here that were pregnant while in consulting? Any tips on how to manage work stress, long hours, travel etc. while making sure you have a healthy pregnancy?

like

Anyone else want to punch the kid in the face that plays Peter Pan in the Geico commercial?

like

Sitting in a coffee shop in Atlanta, and I see three perfectly tanned, toned, and dressed women pushing baby strollers.. Man.. Any ladies looking for house husbands? I'll be pretty for you.

like

JOSH NORMAN TO THE SKINS BABY

like

Can I expense a $500 rose bouquet for my Mother? I think that's okay..

like

Saw the other day that one of our under performing associates was sporting a Rolex GMT Master. Key is never let them know you're coming kid, tone it down.

like

How do you deal with on of your co workers being a total fake? He manipulates the directors/partners. Shows up when he feels like it. He is the golden child.

like

I m a manager, M3. I am new to the dept too. I really want to have a kid, but so afraid that the pregnancy and give birth around Feb 2017 will hold me back from becoming a senior manager. Sigh ## :(

like

Screaming child in the seat next to me to start the post-holiday week ☹️

like

If your company offered 20 weeks paternity would you take the full time? Would your answer change if you were up for AVP with 2-3 DR?

like

Manager from another office that I'm close with just had a baby. Should I get a gift? What's the appropriate action?

like

Additional Posts

How do you meet the needs of your special needs/population students remotely?

like

Me taking conference calls from home only dressed from the waist up.

Post Photo
likefunnyupliftingsmart

What do the requirements for equity partner look like at your firm? How is origination handled (ie once you bring in a client every new matter is your origination whether they called you or someone else at the firm, whether you do the work, and even whether for insurance clients the adjuster assigning to a colleague doesn’t know who you are)? My firm has one female equity partner- who doesn’t have a family. How can I work to change the mold for others to get there?

like

Is Deloitte Studio more like an agency or consultancy? Is their pay and title structure more like one or the other?

like

What do you think will actually happen to manufacturing over the next few years?

like

Looking for a couple more likes to start messaging people. Please and thank you!

like

What do you find to be a greater determinant of promotion material at your firm (aside from brownnosing)? Demonstrating...1) Ability to grind through mindless work 2) Ability to think strategically

like

Girls, co-workers often say that they put kids to sleep at 7-8 pm. How?!? Am I the only mom who wants to spend time with MY kids and feel guilty for not spending enough time with them?

like

Any thoughts on the nice looking garment duffles? Have my eye on the hook and Albert since I usually travel with two suits. I use regional jets a lot so overhead space sucks (why I use a duffel now)

Any ideas for discouraging students from using Google translate, or like services? I tell students they need to rely on their brains, after all it is the original computer. Ask “What would they do if they have no signal, in a foreign country and are lost?” They continue to use it. Other teachers in my department don’t see it as an issue...any helpful suggestions are welcome.

Anyone thought about working in Dubai remotely for your firm to save tax? Any thoughts on how you’ve planned it or how it’s gone?

like

How critically do you examine the operations of each company before investing in their stocks? For example-I avoid investing in Walmart, Walgreens, Target, etc. because they sell alcohol and...

funnylike

fake social media profiles are the new “hot single ladies in your area” email scammers i always respond to see what happens this one gave up fast 🤣

Post Photo
funnylike

Does Phase X projects count as end to end implementations? For example, I did Phase 1, Phase 2 (added new modules) and Phase 3 (added newly acquired company) for a client. Does this count as 3 end to end implementations or just 1?

like

Anyone know of any afghan refugees who arrived to Chicago area recently? Was hoping to volunteer and find out ways to help.

like

Kinda quiet in here. How are annual reviews going?

Post Gif
like

Looking for input from anyone who has traveled to Norway. Continued.....

like

My firm is about to apply for my i140 and my wife who's on an h1b just found out that her company won't be able to file for her gc. Can I file for her h4 ead along with my i485 application?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal