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If anyone listens to the ratchet and respectable podcast my good sis Demetria L. Lucas broke it down in the exact way I feel about this whole story. Also she pointed out how the NYT was low key r*c*st for this cause every other love story is rainbows but the black love story is giving she settled and he barely cared about her and was just going with the flow
Yes! Love her.
To each their own, but I didn’t like how such a bare minimum love story was featured on NYT. I don’t subscribe to NYT but my understanding is this is some sort of Love / Marriage feature done on a standard cadence. So for NYT to feature this story of “Black Love” of allll the submissions they likely receive is interesting and that’s what’s controversial and should be side eyed imo.
Yup. Saw a story of a submission a couple had sent NYT but weren’t selected for. Fit a much more “typical” storyline for what I’d expect to be featured. Not to say I only want “traditional” love stories featured but that it says something to that a low standard of love was selected for a black love story .
My feelings basically:
Women stop 🛑 staying to each their own!
men reading this story will think standing you up twice is courtship and that any woman expecting actual romance has their standards too high. I’m married btw. A broke dude who thought a parking lot was a date spot would at least be a nice enough to buy me some nuggets lol. But that guy’s trash.
How do you think the bar got this low? Stop accepting this bare minimum and tell your friends to stop too for the love of women!
CM1 - if a man reading this thinks its acceptable and acts in that way then he's not for me if those aren't my standards. To each his own reflects that. This was acceptable to him and enough for her. One couple's situation isn't meant to be everyone's story.
Emphasis does seem to be on just how little investment he put into her. Weird that’s his focus imo it’s embarrassing to put out there. But who knows what their actual relationship is like
I heard about this in the Higher Learning podcast ( and there are some additional details missing) . The canceling 2 times before, the meeting me for 5 mins at Popeyes & having a friend pay for an engagement ring would put me off but if she is happy…
I don’t get what’s wrong with the story.. to each their own.
Pro
Yes curious to hear OP’s stance.
Nothing to “discuss”. Again, to each their own. I hope they have a long, beautiful marriage & continue to make each other happy.
So the story itself doesn’t include the additional details that others have mentioned. But like others have said, to each their own. I agree that as women (especially black women) it is important to make and keep standards but we don’t know the full details of this person’s relationship. It seems that she is happy and that’s enough for me.
Yea I see absolutely nothing wrong with this…
Rising Star
I think that it’s sad that it’s received such grandiose national coverage. It makes it seem like this relationship dynamic might be normalized in the black community…
Rising Star
I don’t think it’s nice at all😪 but I hear you
Of you cancel on me twice, no way you getting a third time. You would never value me or my time. I don't care about the popeyes but he is showing a huge pattern in how he thinks about women. Marriage is not that deep sis.
Now, why did the NYT choose this particular story to highlight? The title and the entire contents of the article are so shady.
It felt like “they” were trying to put us back in our place. Too much shine and empowerment around black women. Smh
There’s a paywall. What does it say?
My fault here’s the free version: https://twitter.com/nicole_symmonds/status/1556022303342870528?s=21&t=awtvOtTXEoo2huESoxZ0WA
Here’s the link to the free version: https://twitter.com/nicole_symmonds/status/1556022303342870528?s=20&t=mMnsOA6O5MW29epTAHft4A