Has your perception of your partner changed since quarantine? I noticed that my partner is rather complacent and doesn’t really work hard. It becoming such a turn off. Am I so jaded and used to being a work horse for the firm that I’m becoming resentful of my partner for having better wlb?

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Work smarter not harder

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Awesome! Your partner is killing it

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My partner has become my work crush. I check him out in the kitchen, I admire the way he handles himself on calls. He wakes up early and stays up late and has taken on a lot of responsibility in his role. He looks cute when he's thinking hard about a problem. Wfh together has weirdly refreshed my relationship and makes me feel the nervous butterflies I haven't for my bf in years.

likeupliftingfunny

@GT not even remotely! I'm proud of him for adapting, for communicating with me and for pursuing something he cares deeply about (and that doesn't have to be related to a job). Those aspects important for me in a partner, not the way they perform at work :)

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Give it a few years - you’ll realize there is more to life than work

likefunny

Are you my BF? He’s made a few snide remarks here and there about how I have time to nap and bake cookies while we make almost the same salary. But my team is more flexible and I work more efficiently. I chalk it up to jealousy.

Don’t be resentful of your partner, take it up with your team and company.

likehelpfulfunny

Wait you’re working, bring to household same $, AND bake cookies on top? What a catch!

likeupliftingfunny

You shouldn’t be mad at your partner. Be mad at your firm for creating a situation which leaves you with a bad work life balance.

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I have the opposite problem- my partner is a complete workaholic and rarely takes a break for us, and I’m becoming resentful that everything in our life revolves around his job. You should have an honest conversation with your SO.

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Similar situation with my partner, OP. It’s about using your time effectively. I will wake up and grind out work at 6 am before she wakes up, and then watch an hour of tv at noon (client permitting). She used to hate this and then we talked and realized it was because I was still putting off real stuff (laundry, dishes).

When she’s free, she’ll make me a meal while I work and vice versa. I’ll fold laundry during a call / a break.

Maybe talk to your partner about if they could use some of their free time to help alleviate your stress!

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Maybe the lack of help with chores is already contributing to the resentment? It would definitely frustrate me if my partner had all this extra time and still wasn’t doing the dishes

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I read this as like the Partner at your work. But then based on the comments I’m thinking everyone else thought partner at home...

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Hahahaha me too. I was so confused by the first couple of comments I read.

Your partner is ahead of the curve.

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I get you... it would turn me off as well.

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I do things outside of work, too. I run/work out, cook, have zoom calls with friends. I just feel like I’m in a point where we should be hustling more now and working less later. Idk maybe that’s unrealistic, too.

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Good for you.

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This is kind of the natural progression of us humans. The differences all too often stand out over the similarities. I don’t know why we do this. Not just in terms of race and gender, but in relationships. Take a hard worker and a medium worker in a relationship and eventually the medium worker becomes the lazy one in the relationship. Take that same medium worker and a lax worker and the medium worker is the hard worker of the couple. We live and grow and evolve through references to those around us. The subtleties lie in how you handle it and what side of the coin you want to be on. Would you want to be the lazier one of the relationship?

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It sounds like you need to work on yourself. You should love, respect and value your partner. If you don’t, then it is a major red flag. So you have options - work on yourself and your relationship, or break up with your partner and allow them to find someone that will love and respect them properly.

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If that is his work attitude wouldn’t you have seen it also in private life when we were still working from the office?

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If you are an analyst you can likely automate a lot of your work. It’s worth the upfront cost.

Does your BF earn more than you?

If he earned much more than you, would you still resent his “laziness”?

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Not resentful and he works less than I do.

Is he working as hard as he needs to in order to keep his job? Or is his slacking possibly going to result in a lay-off ?

Either way, is it that you are jealous or resentful because you work longer hours? Or is it that your partner is less ambitious?

Has he shown less ambition before? Or was he ambitious prior to the pandemic?

It could be just him working from home and not that indicative of he’s really like at the office.

This happened with me & my roommate. Between work ethic and being on the wrong side of history we no longer speak

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