Recently dated someone who seemed to want to ‘RUSH’ into a relationship. Was leery because it’d only been two dates. He doesn’t have a green card, no big deal, but...

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Oh I’m ready to see how this goes

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I burst out laughing.

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You dodged a bullet there. Do not rush into it if you don’t feel up for it. He’s probably doing it for green card.

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Yep, so glad I didn’t agree to date him up front.

Yikes. Sorry to hear.

As a fellow immigrant, people like him give all of us a bad name. When I was dating I was constantly afraid that other people may think I was in it for a green card. (I hear jokes about it all the time.) I almost didn’t want to date Americans for this reason - because I was worried our relationship wouldn’t start on an equal footing. Luckily I found someone who saw me for who I am. My husband actually pushed me to get married very early on so he could sponsor me a green card, but I rejected it for about a year and half with fear that it was too fast or people would think I was doing it for the wrong reason.

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I mean I’m just trying to see if I’m being paranoid here. But this is a man who kept this up for months until his visa issues. Was texting as recently as yesterday, no problem. Then poof overnight, he’s dating another American.

Accused me of pretty much putting him in the friend zone, which is fair. But if that’s how he felt, why are you making plans and continuing to initiate daily communication MULTIPLE times a day. Doesn’t add up.

Anyway, I’m glad you met the love of your life and that he was super supportive! I think when two people really get to know each other and build a bond, then it’s great. It’s an awesome thing and then things like paperwork are just that. And I think that’s what your now husband realized early on. Congrats, lady!

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That wasn’t a huge deal. I’ve dated guys with pending applications and processes before. Ive only ever encountered lovely people who were just taking things slow, which is important to me.

I just felt like he was trying to rush me into committing and I knew he didn’t have a solid solid legal status. Didn’t know enough about his character and wanted to just get to know him as a friend.

At first I didn’t get it. I just figured he wanted to get married soon. Even after I rejected the idea of dating so soon, he called/texted everyday. Until that is he ran into problems with his visa, has not returned to the US, and suddenly decided he now wants to be in a relationship with someone else (also a US citizen). Says he just decided to be with her yesterday, had NO idea I was still interested in him.

Yeah, so please, explain why you’d be texting and calling someone everyday if you didn’t think they were interested. Comical how dumb some men think we are.

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Sounds like he was just trying to see which American bites first; be thankful you dodged a bullet. That poor other person....

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Type faster...please

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You dodged a bullet! Hopefully the next woman figures it out - my family fell victim to this back in the 80s before we had digital records. My aunt had an arranged marriage in India (but was a US green card holder) and once she brought him over, he disappeared. He was a doctor so of course the fam “thought he was great” and then poof! So he’s a doctor here in the US and probably married some other unsuspecting woman...

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Seems like you dodged a bullet

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Eeek! Sham weddings rarely turn out well. You don’t know them and it’s more transactional in nature. I echo the rest of the ladies here. You dodged a bullet.

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See you didn’t give THESE details on your other post! But yeah he definitely is oozing green card wedding scents. Perhaps he was talking to you both at the same time and she agreed to it ahead of you. You’re not missing out and soon that’ll become crystal clear.

helpful

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