{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Have any of you had to deal with a friend cheating the system to get the covid vaccine? I’m in a state where they work on an honor system and don’t ask to see your medical records etc. but you sign a statement saying you’re eligible. I want to confront this friend and tell them what they did doesn’t sit right with my values and wondering if anyone has been through a similar experience with a friend or relative?", "post_id": "603f8329b7914c0022fb2d7a", "reply_count": 28, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

Have any of you had to deal with a friend cheating the system to get the covid vaccine? I’m in a state where they work on an honor system and don’t ask to see your medical records etc. but you sign a statement saying you’re eligible. I want to confront this friend and tell them what they did doesn’t sit right with my values and wondering if anyone has been through a similar experience with a friend or relative?

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It’s a pandemic, let’s try not to get on a high horse shaming others. In theory, they are not doing harm by “cheating” the system; them getting vaccinated will help protect others in addition to their own health. Younger people are bigger spreaders of Covid, many doctors argued they should have gotten vaccinated first. I’m not saying people should cheat the system, rather that I understand why some people are willing to do it given health is the most important factor in life and it makes people nervous. You can express that you will wait your turn once your phase rolls out bc it’s important to you that the elderly have access first, and that will imply you don’t agree with their decision. Just don’t go “confronting” which sounds like attacking.

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Sometimes, I need to ask myself the following: why am I so arrogant as to presume that anyone has to give a single f*ck about my opinion on this issue? Whether or not you think she should have is quite irrelevant. To me, the most important part is who are you to chastise her? She’s not a child, not your child, and you have no place to wag your finger at her because you disagree with her decision. There’s a certain self righteousness and arrogance in your tone that doesn’t sit right with MY values.

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By the way. I say this as someone who has a preexisting condition and also lives in a state with an honor system. I have not yet been vaccinated and per your logic, have every right to clench my fists at your friend’s behavior. It’s the principal here. Can’t stand a high horse Helen.

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Before you do that I would ask yourself what result you are expecting . There are going to be many things that people in your life do which do not sit right with your values. If you are going to be someone who speaks up and shames others for things, how do you think they will react ? Trust me I’ve had similar thoughts about people especially during Covid . But ultimately I’ve chosen to distance myself from those types of people but stay polite . There is no “clearing the air” when it comes to values . What your friend is doing is incredibly wrong but they will live with that karma , not you.

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I think you shouldn’t have an opinion on what others do about their health. The goal is to get everyone vaccinated, especially people that are out and about. I have a BMI of 30 and that’s considered obese (a precondition) though you wouldn’t be able to tell looking at me.

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I mean lying to health officials to con the system is something that should be generally frowned upon. Typically you have to confirm that the information you gave was correct and accurate, she lied. Especially because from the sound of it she doesn't have to work in person, doesn't have a health condition, and simply chooses to party.

I’ve said this before in a similar post, If this person is otherwise a good friend and person, I would (and have) just let it go. COVID has done crazy things to our fear and logic responses and people are acting in ways that are truly out of character. It’s not like getting the vaccine today means they can act without repercussion tomorrow. Also with the recent news of vaccines being available for ALL US adults by May, you’re likely not far behind. If this person is generally immoral and this is just the next way they have demonstrated that to you, just cut your ties. But maybe if this person is reacting to these unprecedented times in a way that you find disappointing but is otherwise out of character for them, maybe just try and have some empathy for why they made the decision.

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Have you considered that this person might actually have a precondition you don’t know about?

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I hope you get what you're looking for out of that conversation.

smart

Would it help for extra context to say they already have had covid so aren’t scared of catching it and have been traveling to three different states to ski or go to open states to party over the last 2 months? It’s just disappointing behavior to skip the queue over people who are truly vulnerable.

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It sounds like this person is generally selfish and wouldn’t really care what you think, and is probably someone who *always* works “the system” to their advantage, no matter the situation. It’s probably not worth saying anything to them because they’ve already done it and gotten the shot, and they won’t care what you think anyway...but it’s worth thinking about your friendship with this person and whether it actually enhances your life in a way that fits with your values.

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I’m with OP on this one. Someone skipping the line to get a vaccine when they have already had Covid so that they can party is not someone I would want to be friends with. You don’t need to confront them but why would you invest your time in such a hollow and morally bankrupt person.

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Hey OP, I am in a very similar situation with my friend. Him and his girlfriend lied and said they were “unpaid caretakers” for their parents (which is a complete lie) and got the vaccine. At first I didn’t say anything about it but it really started to bug me how they kept bringing up how they can’t wait to travel once they have their second shot. I finally did confront him by sending him an article about wealthy white folks skipping the line. We talked more about it and I didn’t change his mind. But, I’m really happy I explained to him why I thought it was problematic. I think it’s important to have these tough conversations with friends. That’s how we all grow as people. If you don’t challenge them on their problematic ways, who will?

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Thanks EY. Plenty of us are waiting for our fair turn. My parents have not met their granddaughter yet and are struggling to get a vaccine because they don’t yet qualify. It really ruffles my feathers to hear about these cheaters.

I don't think I'd bring it up but if they brought it up, I'd just say it was a crappy thing to do. Simply because there is a reason why they're doing it in these phases and there are people who need it sooner who can't just work from home. But it does help everyone to have as many people vaccinated as possible.

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I have 2 medical conditions that qualify me for Phase 1B here in VA. They’re not immediately visible, but they definitely put me at higher risk than others in my age group. I signed up as soon as Gov. Northam opened up the age groups, and it still took more than a month to get my 1st appointment. I’ve told a few friends that I’ve gotten my first shot, but I’m trying not to make a big deal about it because my health is honestly no one else’s business. While I don’t want anyone thinking I’ve jumped the line, I’m also not going to martyr myself on the altar of other peoples’ opinions of where I fall in the priority list based on info they don’t have.

smart

Depends on states but there are no-shows at appointments all day long in NYC. I’m eligible to receive through my doc and they are literally wide open 7am-7pm every day because eligibility is still too narrow. Sooner the states open up eligibility the better.

What site are you seeing now shows at?? Do they take walkins?

I would shame them on social media in a satirical way like ‘you most be so stoked that you were able to get skip the line to vaccinated early so you go on spring break. We uncomfortable doing so and will just have to hold off on x, y, and z until it is our turn’. You friend doesn’t think there is anything wrong w what they have done so why hide it. That said, I would question the long term viability of being friends w a narcissist which is what they sound like.

Do not do this

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