{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Have recently ran into two opposing points of views online through Reddit: Red Pill vs. Female Dating Strategy. Seems toxic, but do any of you actually live by these methodologies?", "post_id": "60e4a3a1a01fd40028908fc1", "reply_count": 41, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "5e8656b80bdab1002a7355dc", "bowl_name": "Confession ", "feed_type": "bowl" }

Have recently ran into two opposing points of views online through Reddit: Red Pill vs. Female Dating Strategy. Seems toxic, but do any of you actually live by these methodologies?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

There’s merit to both - in moderation.

From a M perspective, red pill prioritizes men’s interests first and foremost without much regard for the other side which is ridiculous, but the idea behind it is 100% correct in the sense that in today’s world men are taught to coddle to women and put them on pedestals (namely because of competition). As a result men are “fake nice” which leads to further issues down the road.

While you should always be sincere in your pursuits and not treat the other person as merely a number, men DO have to “nut up”, make sure their needs are tended to, and know when to walk away or simply disregard a woman when she makes it obvious she’s playing hard to get.

likefunny

I posted a quote from Elena Ferrante on a previous thread and once posted one from the blogger Dear Coquette that I believe get at the heart of dating issues today and have led to both these strategies

TLDR Ferrante: the rules that once governed male and female behavior have collapsed (which is good because it used to be a patriarchal nightmare) but no new ones have emerged and now no one knows how to act

TLDR Coquette: These days we have stopped marrying our neighbors or whoever our parents set us up with, and now everyone thinks they deserve a high value well adjusted partner when both genders typically attract someone in a similar state as them. So, if you don’t do your work (and really this means PSYCHOLOGICAL WORK) your not going to get an amazing partner.

So, I believe this situation is an outgrowth of the confusion and expectation misalignments summarized by these points. I agree that both make some reasonable points at the start but end up largely reinforcing toxic masculinity (red pill) and toxic patterns desiring extreme control - often associated with folks who experienced a lot of trauma (women!) they haven’t dealt with trying to regain and ensure safety/control (fds). Neither of these strategies focus on becoming emotionally healthy and whole in the way that would really lead to healthy, happy relationships with high value partners. They are both focused on “better playing the dating game” rather than focused on building skills that make you a better partner/friend/community member/person which would be 1) more effective 2) more fulfilling 3) better for everyone in the world lol.

likesmart

I hope in a good way ;)

Recent IconRecent

It’s not really fair to compare the two; read 20 posts in both subs and then make a judgment. One of them (TRP) has been banned multiple times and jumped around new subreddits, ultimately moving off platform to uncensored territory, which says a lot..

FDS: group of women, many come from abusives backgrounds, were groomed or taken advantage of or treated like doormats in previous relationships. Their general mantra is “take care of yourself, don’t bow to any man, know your worth, find an equally high worth man”. Discussion of high value men (which do exist) includes how they take care of you, treat you as an equal, and love you. Their biggest toxic factor is they want men to pay for dates.

TRP mentality: how to have as much sex as possible, discussion of “spinning plates”, rejection of commitment, generally place low-to-non-existent value on women. Discussion of valuable women is limited to hotness, willingness to have sex, and submissiveness (housekeeper/cleaning).

likesmart

If you read the posts on TRP that’s what you’ll find. Not a group of men trying to level up for interesting, intelligent, competent women. These men rate women based on how DTF they are and what they do for them (cleaning, cooking). I’m not making this up, just read the posts and comments.

likesmart

I know someone who loves redpill and he’s a huge piece of crap when it comes to women.

likesmart

A1, come to my safe space

funny

They both have good foundations that are incredibly misguided at their fringes. I would like to think it's good for anyone to understand both but not at the risk of falling down the rabbit hole

like

This. They both start with a few truths about biology and evolution and take that, stretch it and run with it to the extremes where it means the other gender are the most evil people so you should be as terrible back

like

I’ve read a lot of red pill (and other dating books) and while the literature needs to be read critically, much of it isn’t inherently misogynistic.

It explains the core of male-female sexual and dating dynamics by acknowledging and providing a “playbook” for men who are trying to maximize their options. It does this quite ruthlessly by dismissing the dating rules that women typically want men to follow. It provides guidance on how to not end up in a sexless marriage, how to date great women, and how to ensure you’re not getting taken advantage of.

Men and women are different in how we experience romance, sexual attraction, and commitment. This isn’t a bad thing, it’s just a reality.

smartlike

Well said SC1

like

Just be normal

like

Yes, using a strategy isn’t going to get you to most people’s ultimate goal of a healthy relationship. You may “win” but what does that really get you?

like

what’s toxic about it?

like

Look it up, it just looks like it’s both sides trying to “out-play” each other

like

How about this—if you like someone, you let them know. If they like you back, great. If they don’t, you both move on. Repeat until you find someone you are compatible with. We don’t need strategies.

like

That would require people to be rational.

likesmart

I have not read either of them, other than a few posts on TRP a while back due to someone I dated in the past talking about it. He talked about it in terms of a friend of his who had trouble dating (perfectly nice guy, just a little socially awkward), and the way he explained it to me was that men needed to essentially play hard to get to take control away from women. I don’t remember what I actually read, but this is what I got from my ex who also had a lot of insecurity issues and was the kind of guy who wanted to bring me down to lift himself up, so he probably got what he wanted to from it, so his interpretation may not be everyone’s.

Can someone summarize the FDS for me? I tried looking into it once and it just seemed like a bunch of rambling feminists without any kind of strategy.

1) “I’m a strong woman who don’t need no man (except to pay for things).”

2) A bunch of people who, instead of processing trauma in healthy ways, are forcing everyone else to deal with their shit.

Always follow the Redpill. Be yourself, understand the world around you, stop letting the world feed you what it wants you to believe. Only then will you be free.

Related Posts

Anyone successfully book multiple rooms with points? Perhaps even at a discounted point rate? (I.e thing booking rooms over a weekend for wedding guests)

Random thought.

like

Will be leaving and cancelling my Corp card. Need to open an Amex with MR to keep the points. Am thinking of doing Amex everyday since the higher tier cards seem too expensive. Any thoughts?

I feel like I’m being pushed into a decision that will result in a bunch of layoffs. Everything is set up in a way that points towards this option, and I’m being asked to pull the trigger. I feel so uncomfortable.

like

Opinions on Clyde & Co? Bonus points for Miami office. Looking for info on WLB, autonomy with work, level of difficulty billing enough for bonuses, general satisfaction, any interesting or unique selling points, etc. Thanks in advance!

At what point do I make my resume more than 1 page with prior service experience? Should I?
I’m passively taking interviews. I’m in DC, couple years post-MBA with >, currently in an exec cert program, and multiple experiences with clients. I was 5+ years as an O on active duty, but I’ve been slowly diminishing those bullet points with corporate exp and education instead. They were great bullet points for getting me into grad school, but I haven’t seen their RoI with private sector/corporate HMs.

like

Hi, I am applying for Canada PR, currently in Canada on Work Permit. How many points do I get for 1 year of Canadian experience?

like

What are your WFH schedules like as moms with small kids (under 5) ? bonus points for multiples! I need ideas. Hubby is Military and works 3shift so he sleeps during the day and can’t be much help.

like

I have a recorded video interview with U.B.S. So I get 2 chances for questions. This is for investment banking summer analyst intenrship. What are some key points to touch on or some buzz words to mention. Thanks for any advice.

like

I know salary posts are pretty annoying, but trying to get some data points on where experienced hires started $ wise in Federal HC and how many years experience you had coming in? And Masters Y or N?

like

Flight cancelled 4 hours before the flight. Any points?

like

Folks, is there a shortcut to earn badges/points by completing modules in salesforce trailhead? I do not want to read the whole things and give the quizes.

like

DESPERATELY SEEKING A PRODUCER…to join AIR’s next Straight Talk series Monday May 23 at 10am pst. Topic: Producers and Reps, How we Work Together: Pleasure Points and Pain Points. DM if interested!

like

Asking for points be like - I am not able to sleep today. How much points should I ask from the hotel? 🤣

like

Hi! I am trying to conduct some competitive analysis specifically on a set of metrics (e.g. latency) for the purpose of benchmarking.
The challenge here is that most of these metrics are not public, so I'm curious how others may have approached similar initiatives. I think some anecdotal data points can be gathered through the sales team but such data obviously comes with a tone of caveats on accuracy.

like

Sheraton overbooked me and transferred me to a Marriott. Also gave me 11K points to “compensate for inconvenience”. How much should I ask for?

like

Help! Planning on flying Qatar Airways from Philly- Doha- Manilla next month for vacation. I'd like to use points. I have AA and AMEX points available. What's the best way to do this?

Selling 300k SPG points....what's the right price?

like

The travel, points, and expensed meals were a big factor on why I chose to pursue consulting. Since travel projects will be reduced for the foreseeable future what advice do you have for a first year consultant?

likefunnyhelpful

I wish more women creatives were amplified over men, considering all the inequities. Share women’s portfolios, to give more visibility, because we know there are many kickass women in advertising, bonus points if she/they are from underrepresented, or marginalized groups. Stop bro-ship. They don’t need the help.

like

Did you got 10000 worth of Vantage points?

like

Additional Posts in Confession

I'd be up to...but away that wknd :)

I'm a 22 M new to Houston area. Looking for people to go out with during the weekends.

like

Is there anyone that works at Slack that would be willing to give me a referral for their Corporate Counsel (Commercial) position?! I really want this job so please send me a message if so and we can work something out! TIA!

like

When does it make sense to move from biglaw to an amlaw 200 firm when partnership prospects are good (senior associate - 2 or 3 years out)? Is there such a thing as a lifestyle firm?

like

If in North America Curious what pubtech/adtech. Video infrastructure providers you like/and why??

Which company pays the best for someone with 8+ years of Cloud Computing experience?

like

😐😑

#company #salary #corporatejokes

Post Photo
likefunny

Traveling to Spain from US. Best way some “walk around” cash? Bank before leaving? Cash exchange? Airport? Hotel?

Say I’m looking to completely jump ship out of this industry. What types of jobs do you think we could still get for comparable salaries with the experience and skills we have?

like

Hi, anyone here start a wedding planning business? If so, how’d you get started?

like

Anyone know what it’s like to work at Bloomberg LP?

like

Welcome to the bowl, Please keep your posts focused towards Mastercard and tone as positive as possible.

Cheers 🍻

Hi! My bf and I are celebrating our 4 year anniversary, any suggestions for a gift? He’s really into music and has a podcast , I was thinking of getting him nice headphones. He also needs help in the style department, any suggestions would be helpful! Age is 24 if that helps

like

Do you have to submit your time every day or the end of every week? Curious what other agencies do.

I expect the return to office policy will allow me to WFH… or rather just FH when I’m hungover on Friday. If this is the case then I’m satisfied

likefunny

I am an analytics major and have 2 years left until graduation. I am attempting to find a smaller company or a mentor that would like to allow me to work 15-20 hours per week assisting their day to day needs while also allowing for 2-5 hours a week to assist me in my growth as a professional through either face to face or virtual conferences. If there is anyone that knows a company that would have interest please comment

like

To all of the analysts here: what have been your most difficult hurdles you've had to overcome?

like

Are there other social workers out there who feel all the attention is on how hard nurses work without any mention of social works same conditions and responsibilities?

like

I was recently laid off but was only with the company for 3 months. I feel like I gained a lot and was wondering if it looks bad on my resume to add even though I was there for a short time.

like

I'm interested in becoming a federal magistrate judge. I have two years left before I qualify. Does anyone have any insight or advice in making this happen?

like

Additional Posts (overall)

Just scrolling on bumble in the Rosslyn office. Where the eligible bachelors at

like
like

I come on vacation to escape the heaviness of the news, politics, and sad conversation. This British guy has tried to pick a political fight with me every single time he sees me this entire time at the resort. He just moved to Florida and keeps trying to engage me in political conversations “just to bait me and mess with me.” The last conversation was him telling me that men have as much right to decide whether a woman should have an abortion as the woman. It’s my last night of vacation 🙄

funnylike

I’ve noticed an ever increasing number of life coaches. One thing I noticed is that the majority of them have not really achieved (professionally or personally) much and are trying to coach others? That makes me wonder… is there real demand for all this? Are people so lost that they really see value in it?

likefunny

Can we actually start a thread on motivation to get through January/tomorrow? I’m dying here 🤣🤣

likefunnysmart

How do you handle attraction in the work place. During my summer internship I was really attracted to this girl I shared a office with. She was way out of my league so I didn't even attempt to ask her out or anything. Plus you don't hookup where you vlookup.
During one of the days she wore a really short skirt and I got a bit aroused. Since my housing was really close, during lunch I went home and fixed the issue. How do you handle being aroused at work?

funnylike

should i just not hit our deadlines and see what kind of consequences occur? they’re so unreasonably tight

likefunny

Up until college, I thought green bananas were just a different type of banana that tasted different.

likefunny

The idea of a wedding gives me more anxiety than a marriage

likefunny

This is me today and have no regrets.

Post Photo
likefunnysmart

I heard something new (well too me lol) the other day that has stuck in my head.
Confession: I want a “Brain Dump” partner.
It was explained to me that at the end of the day you have a sit down with your partner/roommate/friend and “brain dump”—talk about anything that happened during the day, at work or personally that bothered you or happened so that you can get it all out before you go to sleep. Then you can start fresh each day. 😊 just thought I would share!

like

Having a work crush is a nice distraction

like

It’s Anthony Davis night. 😍

likefunny

Champagne (was leftover from yesterday) with sushi - too odd together?

like

I have this weird huge anxiety around sending out emails to my BU. Personally, it’s because I’ve received feedback that I’m not concise or clear in my written communication. I’m trying to be patient and gracious with myself, & have been reading books to improve my vernacular. I also send my email drafts to my manager first, & she’s been supportive and improving them for me. Which is great! But I feel a tad embarrassed. Any tips on how to regulate that feeling, & improve written comm?

like

Female in late 30s and never been in a serious long term relationship. Just been really unfortunate in this part of my life. Friends I grew up with know this but I lie to new friends and dating prospects because I know they will perceive as a red flag.

like

Anyone ever work as a bank teller? Do you look at customer’s recent transactions out of curiosity?

Just had a really interesting interaction at a bank I’ve gone to for years (and friendly with everyone there) and later pull up my account and the last transaction on my checking was an OF subscription 😂🙈.

funny

Can anyone recommend me a horror movie or book that is truly terrifying? Like to the point I'll be damaged for the rest of my life and need therapy. In the mood for a good scare.

likefunny

Confession: I want to go out while I’m on top. Leave my current job and maybe current life. It might be the time. Just have to decide what to do.

like

My boss interrupted me today mid-sentence with a raised voice, and when I asked “Will you let me finish?” they said “NO, I will NOT” and continued angry-preaching a response to something I wasn’t saying. I thought that phrase was supposed to be more useful :(

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Already have an account? Log in

New to Fishbowl?

image with Fishbowl logo and arms reaching out for a handshake