Have you ever been confronted by your family because they disapprove of you being an attorney (in big law)? I chose to go to another law firm instead of working for government and got into a big fight with my family. They don’t understand why I decided to stay in the big law world (especially since I want children). I’m not 30 yet and didn’t feel ready to stop being an attorney at this point in my career and my new law firm seems to have a better WLB. Any tips to handle such a situation?

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Like parents? I wouldn’t care what they think. A partner? I wouldn’t care for some man trying to control my career.

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Its your life that is really none of their business. I have had the opposite issue. I left big law to go to the government and my mom is upset at the money I left on the table. I am happy and it was the best move for me professionally and personally. This lateral move seems to be the case for you and you can decide what to do next if WLB issues prompts a change down the road.

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I came into biglaw with an infant and toddler (had my first and second kids in law school)— and it was quite difficult, but the firm made the requisite accommodations (nursing curtains, a fridge for breastmilk). My husband and I are considering a third, and the advice I’ve gotten from my mentors, seniors and partners, has been not to let a job dictate my family planning. If you want a kid, have a kid. Your life will shape itself around the new addition, and maybe you’ll have to develop a thick skin to deal with assholes who think a blackline at 2:30am somehow trumps nursing an infant who will otherwise die lol, but don’t let people like that get to you, UNLESS that reflects the broader culture of the firm, in which case, leave that firm and find one that’s family friendly.

Not to mention, depending on your firm, it’s 4 months paid maternity leave, and some female associates i know go on to remain on flex time schedules till their kids go to school, and still go on to become Of Counsel or Partner.

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Damn, you can handle anything after that. That’s really doing it all. 🥰

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*WLB : work life balance

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Live your life on your terms. Make the decision that is right for you. Anytime I ever made a decision that was based on trying to please my family I wound up sick, exhausted, mentally traumatized and told, “Well you didn’t have to do it.” So what I learned was that if you make choices based on what they want and it doesn’t work out you will resent them. If they can’t understand why you do what you do, connect with them over other things and live your best life.

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Thank you all for your kind advice.

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