Have you ever gotten into a relationship with someone you liked but not yet loved? Did that grow into love or did that fade away? The guy I’m seeing for a 2 months asked me out, I like him as a person

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Yeh, absolutely. I think that’s completely normal. Love develops overtime and I personally feel I need to have committed myself to some level of intimacy which that person before I can say I love them. 2 months is fine! And if it doesn’t work out, no harm done necessarily 🤷🏼‍♀️

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Read “Mr Unavailable and the fall back girl”.

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I didn’t feel fireworks at all when I bet my husband. We got along, had fun together, which grew into a physical relationship which deepened our emotional connection. Shared experiences further deepened our relationship. I think fireworks and butterflies are overrated- In the past I dated shitty guys and the butterflies of “omg does he like me” don’t happen when a guy just likes you, calls when he’s going to call and does what he says he’s going to do. I think we’ve been trained to see guesswork as drama that is “love” or a “connection” when it’s in fact the opposite. I deeply love my husband...and that love is ten years, two kids in, evolving every day. He is a great husband, father and a fundamentally good man. Explore what you’re feeling with this guy- I would hate for you to miss out on someone great because you’re imaging love as something different than it is.

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Yes, that’s the point of a relationship... to continue to get to know each other and feelings deepen as time passes. You stated in the comments that you go for less emotional guys who are more successful, it sounds like the issue is within you..either you intentionally go for emotionally unavailable guys or career success means more than other traits. Either way, the fact that you are enjoying this guy and he treats you with respect, is what matters. Keep dating him, if you don’t have romantic feelings towards him in 6 months then you’ll know.

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Yes it definitely develops over time. The first time I started dating a really quality and loving guy, he was so different than my typical type - it took me 2 months just to get over that and only then did I start really opening my heart (and mind) to the idea of loving him. Good things take time and society has engrained in us our feelings need to be immediate and passionate to be lasting, but honestly I think it’s more likely the opposite.

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Love is not just an emotion and a feeling. It’s something you have to work really hard at to build over time. Your perspective has been skewed by media...

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Ok sure

The relationships that I got into where I only liked the person kinda just fizzled out and then I felt really inconvenienced by having to officially break up and acknowledge the fizzle rather than just letting it subtly happen if that makes sense. lol But I think it’s different for everyone. It could totally work for you! Go with your gut.

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I can’t love someone until I trust them completely. Took 7 mos with my now husband. Glad I got into a relationship with him at the like phase!

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.. he is kind, he looks great and we are compatible in bed, and easy to live with (been quarantining together for 2 months). But I don’t yet love him. Should I give it a try and see where this goes? I always fall for a certain kind of guys who are more successful and less emotional and they are like a roller coaster ride. With this guy I’m trying something new, in that he is more emotionally aware but not as successful.

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