{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Having my 1st baby and trying to figure out invites for the baby shower and could use input.\n\nMy SIL /MIL won’t host a family shower for me. \nMy mom thinks it’s tacky for her to host anything.\n\nMy friend is hosting a shower & told me to invite anyone I want. I’d like to invite family on both sides. I don’t want my friend to be stuck with the bill, so my hubby said he’d pay for it; my mom freaked out and said it’s like I’m hosting one for myself. She wants to not invite any family now.\n\nThoughts?", "post_id": "60fe2702d60f980020b8881f", "reply_count": 16, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

Having my 1st baby and trying to figure out invites for the baby shower and could use input. My SIL /MIL won’t host a family shower for me. My mom thinks it’s tacky for her to host anything. My friend is hosting a shower & told me to invite anyone I want. I’d like to invite family on both sides. I don’t want my friend to be stuck with the bill, so my hubby said he’d pay for it; my mom freaked out and said it’s like I’m hosting one for myself. She wants to not invite any family now. Thoughts?

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Your family does not need to know who is footing the bill. Invite who you want! Also, not sure why it’s tacky for your mom to host it. I mean, you are her child.

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I agree, but “traditionally” family doesn’t host baby showers. I think because it can be inferred to be grabby? Same thought on the paying the bill. Not that I care! But totally agree to just not tell your mom you are paying for anything. I make WAY more than my best friend and I gave her a budget for my shower.

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How did she find out he is paying? That is not her business. Still, it is your shower. Your friend is right-invite whoever you want

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Yeah. Put her on a low information diet. You are the parent now. She is not. None of her business. I’m not finger wagging you. We had to learn the same thing over the course of pregnancy with our first

likesmart

It doesn’t matter who pays for the shower; it’s your time to celebrate your baby and enjoy a tradition that happens once or very few times in your life. In a year you won’t remember who paid for the shower, you’ll just have the memories of being with people who care about you are are excited to celebrate you and your growing family. Your baby shower isn’t your mom’s decision — she can attend or not — you should invite all the family you want to celebrate with you. Whether they come is up to them, but the invite indicates your intentions to include everyone…also invites don’t say who is paying :)

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Omg it’s ok if you pay. It’s a celebration!

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Tell her to sit down and drink a margarita. She needs to lighten up!

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Ignoring the family dynamics piece - it’s totally okay to pay for your own baby shower, and you can invite anyone you want, any friends and any family you want to be there. I do think it’s somewhat common for the new mom (as in you) to host the baby shower, that’s how it’s always been to the ones I’ve always attended; plus no is asking “who’s hosting this baby shower?” So sorry to hear your 2 moms and your sister-in-law won’t host it! Are they planning to help at least?

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Good gravy, your MIL sounds like a piece of work. My MIL hosted a SECOND bb shower for my SIL bc she was so excited (the two sides of SIL’s family live far away & MIL wanted to make sure everyone could celebrate with SIL without traveling) Sounds like your friend has your back. Stop inviting other opinions, do invite all the people you want to invite, limit mom’s involvement as a planner (maybe she needs a specific new-gran bb prep task to focus on?) and focus on having a great time with everyone who shows up.

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Baby showers are tacky

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Have your friend host friends and your mom host a sip n see after baby gets here.

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