{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Headed for divorce and will most likely be raising my child alone. How can I be a good mother and have a successful career at the same time? Thank you!", "post_id": "5e5983ccb0942b002397ba44", "reply_count": 8, "vote_count": 6, "bowl_id": "5e593c84a513c7001dc3c730", "bowl_name": "Strategies For Working Parents" }

Headed for divorce and will most likely be raising my child alone. How can I be a good mother and have a successful career at the same time? Thank you!

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There is definitely going to be a trade off. I raised my two alone and sacrificed promotions to keep a less stressful career and more work life balance. I was able to go to all of their sporting events, concerts, etc. and I focused on getting my Master's (online) and various certifications. They are now grown and I am focused on my career again. My kids knew they were my #1 priority and that was my goal since I was all they had. Clearly, you want what's best for your child and you will find what works best for you.

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Great point that you don’t have to do everything at once.

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This is hard stuff. But the fact that you’re even asking the question means you are a good mother and care about your career. I agree with the comments that finding and building your community is incredibly helpful. I’d also recommend focusing on how YOU define being a good mom and having a successful career. It’s so easy to get caught up in our beliefs about how we SHOULD do these things that we lose sight of our own personal definitions of success.

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Following bc I might be headed down this road

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I'm curious if the company and your management may be able to provide work flexibility. They may allow for flexible working times, a different role, slower pace, less travel etc. I wonder if pay could be flexed if needed to balance and compensate for that. It may be easier to negotiate that vs finding a new job that has other unknowns if you are seeking a less demanding position. A successful career has many flavors and still has peaks and valleys. Same as being a good mom. There's more than one way. Keep an open mind what that looks like and how it will change and continue to change. I dont know all your details, if possible being able to co-parent allows sharing of the parenting burden and also provides opportunity for your child to maintain a relationship with the other parent.

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I am in industry now, so overtime is not an issue. I work 9-6 with virtually no busy season so it should make it easier to pick up and drop my child to and from daycare. Unfortunately, working from home is not an option unless absolutely necessary, so I’ll have to keep nanny’s phone number on a speed dial until my mother comes from another country. Btw, co-parenting is not an option because I can’t let my soon to be ex raise my child.

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Co-parent, hire a nanny or have an amazing group of support friends to help if you aren’t willing to take a step back from career to handle raising a child alone. I’m 4 years post divorce and it sucks. Unexpected travel or illness sends me into cold sweats.

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In the middle of divorce and I have the sole custody of my baby boy. Struggling with the same thing... my service line travels every week

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