Hello all! Could use some advice. My husband and I have been separated for a few months. We’re (mostly me) trying to work on it and he has some issues such as I wasn’t able to fit into his culture, jealousy problems etc. I’ve been telling him why that stuff happened and how we could mitigate it in the future. However that doesn’t seem to register for him. He says he wants to “feel good about us” before committing to being together again. Any advice on how I can reach him? My method isn’t working

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What I read in your posts is a lot of you trying to save the marriage and make things better and not a lot of trying on his side. Is that accurate? You both have to want it.

Marriage takes both parties listening to each other and wanting to make each happy and comfortable. I was really unhappy earlier this year in my marriage and felt like my husband and I were just not connecting like we should. I sat down with him and explained how I felt and what I needed. We immediately started working on things to do better. We both had things we could improve. We’ve grown so much as a couple this year as a result.

If you aren’t getting what you need and aren’t in a partnership, you may need to move on.

likesmart

I would recommend seeing a couples therapist with a background in the Gottman method. It really helped me sort through things and created a safe space for discussion.

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“Reach him” as in come to a solution together. He just brushes off when I talk about the root cause of the problem and possible solutions for it

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Have you gone to marriage counseling? We went and that helped tremendously for us! Stay strong!

likeuplifting

PwC 1 and 2, we recently went to couples counseling twice and although he said he gets my POV, there wasn’t much change and he said he doesn’t wanna go anymore. I will however research the Gottman method

You’re married. Don’t follow advice about playing games.

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