{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Hello! I am looking for some perspective. \nThose who have been in an arranged marriage - 1. What qualities did you seek in a partner? 2. How long did it take for you to decide that your partner was the right one when you first started talking to them (how frequently did you meet them)? 3. How important was your family's opinion? 4. Are you happy with your decision right now?\nPlease provide your gender and experience.\nFYI - I am a little skeptical about arranged marriages, but I have seen it work", "post_id": "61d4382187019f002f5b298b", "reply_count": 11, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "5e8656b80bdab1002a7355dc", "bowl_name": "Confession ", "feed_type": "bowl" }

Hello! I am looking for some perspective. Those who have been in an arranged marriage - 1. What qualities did you seek in a partner? 2. How long did it take for you to decide that your partner was the right one when you first started talking to them (how frequently did you meet them)? 3. How important was your family's opinion? 4. Are you happy with your decision right now? Please provide your gender and experience. FYI - I am a little skeptical about arranged marriages, but I have seen it work

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I would never have an arranged marriage. My family’s opinion is important to an extent, but it will never trump my opinion. I honestly find the whole practice somewhat gross.

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Even though some arranged marriages work, families push their own timelines on other people, which I don’t agree with. Many families would rather pressure someone into being married rather than let them be single. I feel like that can cause complications down the line. I would much rather be single and figure my life out on my own timeline.

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Can’t comment on overall perspective but seen this with my Asian friends/colleagues. Usually it takes 1-2 years from finding to marriage with a period of 6 months of getting to know each other My Asian friends call it the modern arranged marriage where they meet through the parents but take their time to know/date the person before making a decision (this period can be between 6 months to a year) . If you don’t find the right person , you can repeat the above process Unless you live with your family, their opinion should not matter because you need to spend your life with the person!

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Thanks for your views!

I haven’t had one, but my sister did and the guy turned out to be a piece of…unpleasantness. They didn’t work out. That being said, I think it’s cause they rushed it and she weighed in our mothers opinion/judgement too heavily instead of relying on what she liked and wanted and they landed on a not so great guy. I’d say if you go through it, genuinely take the time to get to know them so there is no surprises when it comes to their character and you can tell if they BSing. Either ways my opinion on marriage is that it’s a roll of the dice whether it’s arranged or a love marriage, so just take your best shot and hopefully it works out.

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Thanks for sharing.

I think everyone should date for at least one full year before getting married to truly get to know the person. You need to see what they are like happy, sad, mad, discouraged, excited, etc. You need to see if you guys get along together and if it’s someone you want to spend most of your time with. Someone you can trust and be comfortable with. Someone who will grow with you and make yourself better.

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I come from a love marriage. And divorced. They work. Trust me

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I am sorry you had to go through that! I hope you're in a better place at present.

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