Hello,
So my confession is … well I’m confused . I don’t know if my relationship is toxic . But I have no one to talk to about this . I feel alone . He works in military and just comes off controlling. My boyfriend calls me during my lunch time , mornings , certain times in evening . I don’t know understand if he is keeping tabs on me or if he’s doing it bc well he wants to know where I am. I grew up in a very strict Persian Muslim family . So growing up my parents (see comment for more)

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Your boyfriend is a red flag. Controlling behavior and shutting you down are toxic. Leave him.

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Let’s get you into therapy so that you have a safe place to discuss and someone in whom you can confide. That person can be your “sounding board” to help you answer this question. It sounds like first you need to be able to talk about things in a safe place. Do that first, get into a place where you are healthy and secure, then answer this question.

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Thank you I am in process of looking for a therapist 🤗

likesmart

It's toxic, strangulating, controlling, unhealthy.

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My parents were very strict and controlling, I assume that’s their form of love and well this is love . I often feel like I’m not enough..: today I wanted to speak to him about just family problems he quickly shut me out after 20 mins and told me I spent 1 minute talking about us and 19 about my prbs . He said it’s too much . A part of me felt guilty and that maybe I’m asking for too much , perhaps his job too stressful to deal with my prbs . Maybe I am selfish . I feel like often he’s quick to shut my opinions down . When I go see my friends , he asks me if there are men at the event . I am sorry if I sound naive guys , I don’t have much dating experience and I am very new to dating . I really could use guidance

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OP run. This is not normal behavior. Trust your instincts!!!

Not sure why more people haven’t jumped in on this but the relationship does sound toxic. You’re not asking for too much. Your partner should be someone who can be there for you and you feel comfortable talking to

Thank you 😭

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