Help! Does this paragraph make sense and read well?

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No to be honest, multiple run on sounding sentences, everything says the same thing. I get it, as IOT use cases are explored adoption will go up which means we need a framework... but that doesn’t take a paragraph to say, unless you have another so what

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Agreed. Not very concise OP, your sentences are overly wordy which makes reading them hard

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This adult video store is exploring IoT??!

likefunny

It’s ok - not great - overall... the first sentence needs the most work.

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“Increasing as more use cases are explored of leveraging” as an example of poor sentence structure

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Use Oxford commas

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With a focus on brevity and removal of fluff, that paragraph could be reduced to two meaningful sentences

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I’m just happy someone mentioned security and IoT in the same paragraph.

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You can say it with about half the words

Much better. Take out “among other aspects” and I think you’re good to go

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