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Benchmarks or gtfo
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No to be honest, multiple run on sounding sentences, everything says the same thing. I get it, as IOT use cases are explored adoption will go up which means we need a framework... but that doesn’t take a paragraph to say, unless you have another so what
Agreed. Not very concise OP, your sentences are overly wordy which makes reading them hard
This adult video store is exploring IoT??!
It’s ok - not great - overall... the first sentence needs the most work.
“Increasing as more use cases are explored of leveraging” as an example of poor sentence structure
Use Oxford commas
With a focus on brevity and removal of fluff, that paragraph could be reduced to two meaningful sentences
I’m just happy someone mentioned security and IoT in the same paragraph.
You can say it with about half the words
Much better. Take out “among other aspects” and I think you’re good to go