{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Hey everyone, so my sister and her boyfriend have both gained about 60-70 pounds since COVID started. I’m getting very concerned for them and I’ve seen firsthand how they’re developed awful eating and drinking habits and they hardly ever exercise. I’m very concerned for them, but I have no idea how to talk about it with them and not make them angry or hurt. Any advice on how to have this difficult conversation?", "post_id": "613e584ec27a760023b81ac7", "reply_count": 26, "vote_count": 4, "bowl_id": "58f964b9b298570010452310", "bowl_name": "Staying Healthy" }

Hey everyone, so my sister and her boyfriend have both gained about 60-70 pounds since COVID started. I’m getting very concerned for them and I’ve seen firsthand how they’re developed awful eating and drinking habits and they hardly ever exercise. I’m very concerned for them, but I have no idea how to talk about it with them and not make them angry or hurt. Any advice on how to have this difficult conversation?

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Respectfully, it’s not your place to have that conversation with them. Chances are high it will go over very poorly and put strain on your relationship with your sister.

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I hate when people say leave them alone they are adults….that’s your sister, and she is self-sabotaging herself and you should 100% intervene. This example might be an over exaggeration but would you now intervene if your sister was struggling with drug abuse?

Tell you mom/dad to do it. 😂

likefunny

That’s a good idea. It’s not our place to tell her siblings what to do.

You should post this to the AITA? thread on Reddit.

likehelpful

Am I the a-hole

I’m confused about what you think bringing this up would accomplish. Do you think they haven’t noticed that they’ve gained weight? Or that they’re not aware of the health risks associated with being overweight or inactive? If you are concerned, you could ask one or both of them if they feel like joining a fitness class with you. Or joining you for a hike/run/walk/bike ride. WITHOUT mentioning the obvious. Anything more than that is rude and invasive.

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You need to let them know that they need to lose weight. Be direct and give examples of how they have let themselves go.

likefunny

Because they aren’t already aware of this? I don’t think this is good advice.

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This might be an unpopular opinion, but I was on the other side of this. And I actually wish someone would’ve encouraged me to start putting my health first. I gained about 60lbs in a year, and I hate that I let myself go. But I’m back on my fitness grind now.

likehelpful

Yeah but it took me a year to get back to it. All I’m saying is that a wake up call would’ve been nice, for me personally. While at the same time I also understand that it’s nobody’s job to do so. 🤷‍♂️

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As someone who has gained an unhealthy amount of weight over the course of 3 or so years due to depression, trust me when I tell you that THEY KNOW and they don’t need you to tell them. You will not come across as caring and concerned. You will come across as judgmental and rude, and your comments can make them feel ashamed and less inclined to reach out for help if/when they are ready.

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It’s their life. I’m sure they’re both aware of their weight gain. Just remember that it’s happening to them, not you. It’s their problem, not yours. I know you care but if they want to change, they’ll do it on their own, they don’t need a lecture from family members.

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What are they going through? Do they have appropriate support?

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Tell your sis you wanna train for a marathon with her

likefunny

From one extreme to another?

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If you are close to your sister I would say something, but not to the boyfriend. I think it’s how you say it and not what you say. Just you and her one on one. Maybe do something with her and then the conversation can be casual. I know for me I gained a lot of weight a few months ago, and my mom and sister sat me down and talked to me. Did it make me sad? Yes, I even cried. but, I know it was coming from a loving place, as my aunt died a few months prior of a heart attack, because she was near 500+ pounds. I was also hella depressed at the time (more like functioning depression) , so there might be another reason why they are gaining the weight and not just bad eating habits.

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I mean I noticed when I gained 10 so they def noticed the 50+ lbs. if they’re not doing anything about it they probably aren’t concerned. I’d be frank and point it out!

This will really only put you in a bad light with them…. My sister is overweight and I am not and the only time I ever mention health related things is asking her if she wants to go on a run w me, train for a 10k w me (which she has), etc. My mom comments on her weight often and my sister vents that she’s super resentful of it, so I stay out of it. Her body her choices ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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