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@A1 I think part of the reluctance you received from the group was based on the fact that minorities are ALWAYS placed in position where we have to explain things like racism, misogyny etc. Constantly justifying our lives and explaining the systems that actively work against our interests. The fact of the matter is that there are resources out here for folks who are genuinely concerned about social justice. If a white person truly seeks to be an “ally” (whatever tf that means) then they should take responsibility for educating themselves on things like white privilege and intersectionality. I, for one, think Black folks have provided more than enough free labor to white folks. They’re not stupid, they are indifferent and that is the source of frustration.
For other races: don’t use the N word, understand that as a race/group that hasn’t historically been oppressed, you don’t get to tell the oppressed group how to feel. Go out of your way to genuinely connect with minorities (this one is tough bc it can often seem forced, but I think any effort is better than no effort) For us as minorities: take opportunities to teach! A while ago I asked the group how they explain white privilege and the majority responded with some form of “I don’t; if they don’t understand then forget them.” I think this is a problem.
I think there is a mix of “do your homework” and asking individuals to help educate because not everyone’s experience is the same and as we all know reading something online or in a book doesn’t always give dimension as a firsthand account or conversation would. Set the boundary that you don’t speak for the entire race and just your experience. The risk that comes with responding “if you don’t know then forget you I won’t teach you” is that they may have come to you as someone they felt comfortable enough with to have the convo and they got turned away and will decide not to have the conversation at all. Not saying it’s right or you have to answer everything, but be more open to engaging when folks are making the true effort. You want people to know your story and your perspective then you gotta be the one to tell it.
Honestly....just respect. I am a firm believer in saying exactly how you feel, but be mindful of the way it is said. So the same consideration I would use to ask a cultural question (such as religious practices, dietary restrictions. Etc.) I would hope it is extended to me. ☝🏾oh and definitely being genuine and sincere. Are you someone who honestly wants to improve our culture or is it just some fad for you
(Contd.) Also, as minorities, what attributes should we posses as people in the position to teach i.e. being patient with those willing to ask and learn about cultural difference, willingness to teach when asked etc. I'm sure I could have phrased this better but hopefully you guys get it.
Good tips in this book. Take a read or hit up the reviews. https://www.amazon.com/Raising-White-Kids-Bringing-Children/dp/1501856421
If you have the mic, give it to POC. Don’t speak for me; as an ally, your role is to amplify my voice.
Thank you all for your input. I really appreciate the responses
Appreciate you all!